Tuesday, November 30, 2010

I Feel Like Throwing Up!

What can I say? Where do I begin?

The things that I have been listening to (from my sister) are unbelievable. I have had such extremes of emotions, just listening to her story that I cannot believe what it would have been like to have personally lived through such abuse.

My immediate reaction was one of anger. I love my sister and I would do anything for her, and recently I wanted to have her husband arrested and thrown in jail. Then I wanted all the leaders of that "monogamous" church charged for Failure To Protect. But of course this is all for the courts to decide.

I am struggling with how to begin Mary-Beth's story. I mean, how can anyone eloquently word a story of abuse and betrayal? So I will just start blurting it out and going from there.

Mary-Beth was always a good girl. She wasn't perfect, and did do things wrong, but first and foremost her desire was to her family. For as long as I can remember, Mary-Beth had wanted to get married. We both endured similar child abuse, which brought us close and we often discussed what we would do when we were the parents and had our own children. Mary-Beth wanted to find a man who was not violent or controlling, while I wanted to find a woman who was not sexually abusive and vindictive. Two very tall orders.

Now to hear of the things that she has had to live through, I am sick to my stomach. I feel like throwing up.

Monday, November 29, 2010

Insane "Moral" Nazis

Have Canadians learned nothing from the dark, demonic era of Nazi Germany????

How can I not quote Niemoller?

"When they came for the gypsies, I said nothing, because I wasn't a gypsy. When they came for the homosexuals, I said nothing, because I wasn't a homosexual. When they came for the Jews, I said nothing, because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the Catholics, and I said nothing, because I wasn't a Catholic. [Now they have come for the Polygynists, and I say nothing, because I'm not a Polygynist.].....then they came for me, and there was no one left to defend me."

How long do you think that your freedoms will be maintained if there is no one left to stand with you?

Do you really believe that you will be free after you conspire to take freedom and equality away from another?

Whose voices will ring with yours in the cause of Freedom?

If Canada's (Im)moral Nazis are allowed to win on the Polygamy Front, they will turn their attention to other fronts.

Always Remember:

When they tried to halt the freedom of women's rights, I (a man) stood for your rights.

When they persecuted you for your sexual preference, I (a heterosexual) was persecuted with you.

When they denied you equality because of your religion, I (a fundamentalist) let my voice be heard, and was outcast along with you.

When they denied you equality because of the colour of your skin, I (a Caucasian) came to your defence and became an outcast of my own people.

As you struggle for the return of your traditional land, I (a mixed breed) who receives nothing, struggle with you.

I have lent my professional talents to you free of charge. I have counseled you, when you were in despair. I have gone hungry so you could eat. I have given to your poor. I have emptied my pockets for you, and yours, and have asked for nothing in return. I have joined in the search when your children/loved one were lost. I have cried when you cried. I have celebrated for you when you won your cause.

Now they are conspiring to make me a criminal. To steal my children under the fog of legality. To imprison my wives' husband, and break their hearts. In effect making legal widows of my wives, and orphans of my children. They will threaten my wives, that if they do not leave me, they will rip their children from their mother's loving arms. Under the guise of Law, will they steal my possessions. They will bind me hand and foot, and all the help that I have given you, and all that I have left to give, will have been for naught.

I (a Polygynist) stood for your rights. Who will stand for mine?


Full Marriage Equality

In order for any person or group to have long lasting equality, we must all have full equality.

"Blame Abusers, Not the Freedom to Marry"

"From the news articles I have read so far, it appears as though the anti-equality bigots in Canada are arguing that allowing consenting adults to marry more than one person magically causes child abuse and of various sorts and the abuse of women. ..."

Take the time to read through the Full Marriage Equality site.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Dear Sis

My dear sister (Mary Elizabeth) is going through some serious marital difficulties. When we were young, there were times when we were inseparable. We were always close, and often shared our hopes and dreams. You see, Mary-Beth is my twin. We always talked of everything that was happening. When I was a missionary, Mary-Beth joined the "monogamous" church, which I had joined when I was 16. Then she found a fella that seemed like a great guy. She talked to me about him always. We discussed everything. We have always been like sounding boards, bouncing ideas off of each other. Well, the time soon came when she wanted to marry this man.

When Mary-Beth and her fella became very serious, they started talking about the future. Mary-Beth certainly liked the boy, but would always be asking me what I thought. To me, he seemed okay. He had a job, was going to college, and seemed to follow all the standards of his church. Before she would accept his marriage proposal, she had asked him some very searching questions, like if he was, or had ever been violent, if he was chaste, was he not only willing to, but was his only desire to create a family and raise his children to be righteous? And of course, when all his answers were completely positive, Mary-Beth was thrilled to accept his marriage proposal.

After they were married they moved to his family's farm. This was an enormous adjustment for me, because Mary-Beth and I rarely talked after that. I mean, we did talk, but it was not like before. Of course this is only natural. Now she had a husband and she was the epitome of "being one" with her husband.

The problem was, that year after year, we talked less and less, until she only spoke to me maybe once a year. Then our conversations were limited to just pleasantries. However, we have recently began talking again. Mary-Beth has confided in me and told me what happened after she married her husband Lorne.

I have told her of my blog here and she is aware of my stance on her church. For years she did not approve of my decisions, but now she is seeing them in an entirely different light. She has also finally given me consent to post her story here on my blog. And so I will.

Friday, November 26, 2010

My Side, Your Side, And The Truth

I know that this article has been up for some time, but I would like to post a link to it here.


My uncle was fond of saying "There are three sides of every story. My side, your side, and the truth."

Well I have always found this proverb to be self evident. Yet, I am as guilty of anyone in seeing my own side first. In fact, there have been times when I have purposely focused on my side first, just because I was hurt, and wanted to be understood. Then I acknowledge the other persons point of view and try to work out our differences. Now I know that we are all aware of people who just cannot let go, and even when they are long since proven incorrect, they adamantly hold to their original lies.

The truth is, unless we see into every aspect of everyone's lives, we will never completely know the truth. Yet, this should not deter us from striving to work out our differences and put a genuine effort into living in peace and harmony, with freedom and equality for all.

Tolerance and Love

No matter what forum of discussion, sooner or later the issue of "morality" surfaces, usually with a negative connotation. When I was a child, I was constantly bombarded by the adults telling me of the immorality of the alternate lifestyles. Today, it seems that the tables have been turned, and the alternate lifestyles have taken control and espouse the immorality of chastity.

Now, granted, some people might say that I have a pretty messed up family. I mean, I am polygynous, one of my brothers, and his wife, is a swinger, another brother seems to love cougar hunting, one of my cousins is so pretty and in such demand that he never does anything for himself, women just flock to him. They feed him, clothe him, house him, and constantly fight for his attention and visits. He is the ultimate, open, tramp. And the list goes on and on. I worked with, and was friends with a woman who was polyandrous. I have friends who are homosexual and bisexual. I have friends who are monogamous, and even some (very, very few) who are "monogamists". I even have friends who are celibate. So a nice variety of people in my peer group. Yet there is one thing in common between all of us; we respect each other's freedom of choice. I respect their freedom to interact the way they choose, and they respect my choice to be for my partner only.

Today, discrimination and harassment is not only directed against those who are considered by society as living an alternate lifestyle, but I have seen a great deal of discrimination and targeted harassment against those who follow a chaste lifestyle, and are truly monogamous (only ever being with one partner in their entire life). Now granted there are several "holier than thou" people out there bringing a lot of this on themselves, but treating people with respect and equality includes giving them the right to choose for themselves. And if they want to be lifelong monogamous, while supporting others' choices, then I will allow them their choice and support them in their decision. I will stand with them to promote fairness and equality among all people. What will you do?

Unity will bring freedom and equality for all.

If divided, as history has proven, there will be endless discrimination and oppression and suffering.


Thursday, November 25, 2010

Polygamy's on trial? How about monogamy?

Pete McMartin wrote an interesting article for the Vancouver Sun.

"Punish crimes where you find them, not by sexual or matrimonial preference.

Because if we must, and we believe that by outlawing polygamy we will, at a stroke, do away with abandonment, confinement and physical and sexual abuse in those communities, shouldn't we, if only to extend that logic, be looking at criminalizing monogamy, in which the vast majority of the above crimes are committed?"

Read more: http://www.vancouversun.com/life/Polygamy+trial+about+monogamy/3870285/story.html#ixzz16J65WJoE

Be sure to write to Pete and tell him how much you liked his article.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

"Monogamy" = Pedophilia, Child Rape, and Child Trafficking

The trial began only a few days ago, and already I am thoroughly disgusted.

This is 2010, I would have thought that in this day and age there would be a few less bias' and prejudices, but alas, no. What kind of ridiculous opening arguments are these lawyers spewing?

*"Firstly, the need to recruit more women into the marriage market drives down into adolescence the age at which girls are targeted for marriage, said Jones.

Secondly, it prevents some men from acquiring wives, resulting in a gender imbalance, a harm that leads to increased crime and other social problems."

To counter these arguments, one only needs to look out of the window. The "serial monogamy" that is legally upheld is by nature deceitful, oppressive and abusive.

Firstly, the freedom to move, unrestrained, from one woman to the next without responsibility, allows the demonic desires of wicked men to seek to satisfy their lustful desires with adolescent girls, who are often specifically targeted for sex crimes.

Secondly, "monogamy" prevents most people from acquiring healthy, STD free partners, resulting in children born in medical, life threatening crisis, which leads to increased divorce, increased crime and other social problems.

**The Province also reported that Deborah Strachan said, “Women in polygamous marriages suffer increased psychological, physical, sexual and reproductive health harms. They also face material harms including economic and educational deprivation.”

After experiencing both polygamous and "monogamous" cultures, I can state from first hand experience that it is the women in "monogamy" who suffer unlimited psychological, physical, sexual harm. Those women, along with their children, are at constant risk of sexually transmitted disease and sexual exploitation. The material harms including, but not limited to, economic and educational deprivation have been well documented, not only in government and independent studies, but also in the judicial process.

There is no doubt that "monogamy" is only about the exploitation of women and children.

These, supposedly educated, lawyers are arguing points that are clearly twisted. All they did was take facts from the "monogamous" culture at large, and fill in the word 'polygamy' where they hoped it would do them the most good. These lawyers are inferring the judge is a fool, that the judge is not intelligent enough to see their guile.

This is straight out of the Witch Hunts of the Dark Ages.

*Read more: http://www.theprovince.com/life/Polygamy+creates+brides+outcasts/3869927/story.html#ixzz16FJp5eSo

**Read more: http://www.theprovince.com/news/Federal+government+joins+uphold+polygamy/3874491/story.html#ixzz16FOecRUp

Go Play Outside

I usually speak about the abuses that I lived through as a child, but today I was thinking about Toni and life early on in our marriage. There was one time in particular that I began to think about. Probably because Toni's nieces and nephew are getting into trouble now that they are coming of age. I remember one time when those children were small, it is a fond memory, though laced with tragedy.

Toni's sister asked her if we would baby sit her three children while her and her husband went to a convention for the weekend. We discussed it and eventually agreed to watch the children.

The problem is that Toni's sister is a member of a "monogamous" cult. It is a lifestyle that is so conducive to brain washing and pedophilia that, in order to keep the women "happy" and blind to their abusive situation, it has one of the most extensive women's organizations (lead by men) of any religious organization in the world, and I try to stay as far away from it as possible. The common argument is that women lead the organization, but those women are chosen by the men. It is just a snowscreen to lull the gullible masses into a false sense of security. This trick may be commonly used in the political arena, but it obviously has applications in all areas of leadership.

But if everyone just turns a blind eye, then how will anything change? One of the main strategies of that church is to use the propaganda of 'family comes first', but then to give an acceptable reason for pawning off the children on others, or just sending them out to play, etc. It is the all too common, 'speak out against it in public, but pay no attention to it in private, unless the public finds out and we can no longer deny it'. So we decided that we would give the children at least one weekend of attention. It is not much of a gift, but what else can we do?

We arrived on Friday in time to see the children fighting while the parents were finishing their packing. The husband ignored me, and the Toni's sister gave me the 'polite' greeting. Even though Toni's sister also lived through the abuse, they consider me evil for taking Toni away from her abusive family. After all, everything seemed fine until I showed up. Before me, the children in their "monogamous" family just accepted the abuse as part of life. They kept silent and protected their father and their church. Yet, I fought my way out of an abusive family, there was no way that I was going to go back to that lifestyle. So I spoke out against the abuse. I showed Toni that there was a better life, a life of respect, of consent and honesty, of personal value and complete equality. That she did not have to live with the sexual, emotional, and psychological abuses of the "monogamous" society.

When Toni started to speak out against her father and brother, her siblings quickly turned nasty. They were happy in their denial, and began to treat me with disdain. I was sad for it, but I had already been disowned by my own dad, so Toni and I agreed that we would start our own family, free from these "monogamous" abusers.

But back to the babysitting. My sister-in-law tried ineffectively to calm her fighting children, promising them treats if they were good. This did nothing and the children kept fighting. They obviously had no respect for their mother. She gave Toni a quick run-down of the to-do list and phone numbers, as she walked out the door.

I immediately turned my attention to the children. They showed all the classic signs of neglect and verbal abuse. We started a game that quickly got the children active. Their attention did not last long though, and they quickly resumed fighting. I sent the boy to his room, and made sure his sister was okay. She was physically fine, but had retreated far into her mind, to a place of safety. I went upstairs to find the boy playing with his toys. A quick talk about helping his sisters, instead of hitting them, and we were back down stairs to try again.

Throughout the course of the weekend we played several games and the children fought several times. Our nephew had a dozen time-outs over Friday evening and Saturday morning. By Saturday afternoon, he was playing nice and getting along with his sisters. The children became calm and happy. And the niece who was lost in dreamland came out to visit us. She was a remarkably bright and happy girl while she was out.

Now, this was by no means a cure-all or even a long term solution, it was just a small break in their normal living conditions. For the children to have a break from the constant yelling, fighting, neglect, and all around bad parenting made us realize that our decision to babysit was actually helpful for the children.

We didn't do anything spectacular. No secrets. Just turned off the TV and went about cleaning the house, preparing meals, and taking care of the children. The main thing that was different, was that we just included the children in our daily routine. They helped pick up toys, gather the laundry, wash dishes, etc. They loved being part of the family, being worth something. Children love to contribute and their self worth is directly connected to their being an important, contributing member of the family.

Sunday was a great day. The children woke happy and we played games, read books, and fixed meals, and cleaned up, with no fights. No fights, that is, until the door opened and Toni's sister walked in the house. Almost immediately she started in on the children. You could see the poor children revert so quickly. The boy turned and began running around yelling and hitting his sister. The sister's eyes went glossy and she retreated back into that fantasy land of escape that she had created in her mind. My heart sank.

On the drive home, I couldn't seem to get out of the depression that the situation had left me in. They were innocent children. They had a right to be treated with dignity and respect. I am so torn up about the situation that I just have to take a stand, and speak out against the evils of "monogamy". What a horrible lifestyle to raise children in. The human rights violations are so boldly perpetrated, how can anyone ignore these children?

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

The Greatest Lie The Devil Ever Told, Was Convincing The World That He Didn't Exist

Here's one.

CTV reports that "the British Columbia government says laws against polygamy shouldn't apply to women who have multiple husbands or same-sex relationships involving more than two people.

Instead, a lawyer for the province says the law was only ever meant to outlaw cases in which a man has more than one wife.


Jones says the harms associated with polygamy, including child brides and the discrimination of women, are the result of men marrying multiple wives. ..."

Well, I came from a strictly "monogamous" society, and I can say without hesitation that this claim is pure guile. I have seen rampant, unabashed child abuse, sexual molestation, child pregnancy, child victims of incest, broken families, including the discrimination and the insatiable oppression of women as a direct result of men marrying "monogamously". By Jones' own reasoning, women and men across the country should rise up, decrying "Monogamy".

Only evil cunning men would ever support "Monogamy". They reach into the depths of irrationality to build their case on the "virtues" of their reprehensible behaviour. Next, the "monogamist" fathers will be claiming "prima nocta", saying that it is better for them to rape their daughters, because they will be gentle, whereas an inexperienced boy that their daughter chooses to marry of her own free will, would make mistakes. Where will it end?

"Monogamy" is all about the oppression and control of women. Evil men play on the natural loving devotion of women, deceiving them into believing that they have their best interests at heart. Yet, these men are only looking out for themselves. They love having women remain in oppression. They love having women beg them for everything. They love being able to lead women into believing that they care, only to use them and throw them away. They love the deceit. They love the game. They love the conquest. Does anyone really believe that this type of player truly cares?

In religious organizations, the doctrine of "Monogamy" has long been used to control and oppress, by taking away a woman's free choice of who she marries. She is told that God will send her to hell if she doesn't submit to forced "monogamy". She now has to settle for an unstable, wicked man, who will beat her and put her through innumerable abuses. How much oppression will be enough? When will good men and women rise up and stand for equal rights?

Legally imposed, forced "Monogamy" is the ultimate hate crime!



My visit to my childhood home brought back many memories, mostly bad. I was in such a terrible state that looking back on my recent posts, I can see that my writing became quite clouded. I am not a professional writer, and I did terrible in English literature class, but I should be able to write coherent sentences.

I went back to my first post, to remind myself of why I began this blog. I have always tried to tell my own story, which by personal experience was in direct opposition to the widespread bias' in Canadian society at large. My main form is to follow a satirical approach, yet I feel that I need to clarify myself. Everything that I write on my blog has actually happened. I strive to keep my comments (even those in satirical form) to just the facts, though I express my opinion quite often. I realize that the facts are not always popular, but they are what they are, and just because some people do not like the facts, does not make them any less factual.

Funny thing, most posts on my blog that are/seem satirical were not meant to be. They were just my real life experiences. It is sad to think that my life is such a satire.

I have endured a great deal of strife in my life and my conversion to a certain system of plural marriage has brought me hope for a better life and peace from many of the abuses in the culture I left behind. I do not advocate that my choice is the right choice for everyone. I am a very firm believer in personal choice. And I believe that each person must make their own choices. From a religious perspective, I believe that God loves all of us and will lead us to where we need to be in our lives. This means that some may follow one religion, some another, some may lean toward a great philosopher or philosophy, some may advocate a blend of disciplines or beliefs, some may feel an inexplicable connection with nature. There have been times where I have forgone expressing my views in a spiritual context, because I have not wanted to offend others. The only problem with this is that I do not feel that I have been true to myself, so I am re-committing myself to the original intent of my blog.

After re-reading some of my posts from the beginning of this blog, I have decided that I will continue to use satire to express my views, and I will allow for the occasional rant (or perhaps I will rant often, I haven't fully decided yet:). Either way, I hope that there is something to be gleaned, and perhaps someone may find something of value in my ramblings.

Sexual Grooming

As a counsellor to troubled youth, I have experienced many horrifying sessions with youth from the “monogamist” culture. Many of those sessions are as a direct result of sexual grooming.

Sexual Grooming refers to preparing the child to accept sexual abuse in a non-threatening way. The “groomed” child will then, not only accept sexual contact willingly, but often times the grooming is so deeply ingrained that the child will seek after it themselves.

Have you ever seen it? It can begin so innocently.

The little child comes home from kindergarden. Someone asks, Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend yet?

What kind of insane question is that to ask a five year old child?

I’ve heard the excuses, It’s normal. Everyone does it. It is only pretend. They’re just children, nothing can happen. Oh, stop being such a prude. Etc.

How about when the neighbour boy comes over for a visit, and the mother asks her daughter if she likes him and wants him to be her boyfriend?

The child seeking for the “right” answer to please the mother, answers “yes.”

“Well then, go dress up.”

The child hurries off, and quickly returns dressed in her mother’s hat, coat and shoes. She smiles a big smile, and the mother blushes and quickly takes the child back to her room to dress her appropriately.

Soon they return with the child dressed in a mini skirt, tube top and lipstick. Everyone ooos and ahhhs, and the mother quickly fetches the camera. She sits her 5 year old daughter next to the neighbour boy and puts his arm around her. Everyone giggles and smiles and the picture is taken.

The entire event may have been a little daunting for the young children, but it made a deep impression. The children have just experienced their first lesson in sexual grooming. More lessons follow, often to the first kiss. The children love the attention and reward of acting out the boyfriend/girlfriend roles that their parents ease them into.

More techniques are employed, usually first in the non-touching area, such as having the children watch cartoons that are sexually oriented, with the excuse that they are only cartoons. Then letting the young children watch more ‘adult’ soap operas and movies, then to x-rated movies, etc, often with the grooming sessions in a happy environment.

These grooming sessions are expertly interspersed with bouts of denial of physical affection, to create the hunger drive, after which grooming to touching offenses is begun. Most times, but not always, negative emotional manipulation is brought to bear to achieve compliance. Barriers are quickly broken down at an extremely young age and the children now begin to seek after these “relationships”. It doesn’t take long and the grooming is complete.

The “groomed” child will then, not only accept sexual contact willingly, but often times the grooming is so deeply ingrained that the child will seek after it themselves. The brain-washing is so complete that the sexual contact will become all the child wants, it will become the child’s very reason for living. As a counselor, I have seen it many times. I have seen it to the extreme where upon first meeting the patient, she looks longingly into your eyes, a never ending stream of compliments spews from her mouth, and she cannot help but to physically reach out and touch a sleeve or arm of any man that walks by, often the patient never even realizes that they are doing it.

There are many “grooming” techniques, which are used in all walks of life, and they are incredibly effective. They are not new, but have been around for ages, under various titles. Psychologists have been using various grooming techniques to help people for as long as their profession has been around.

Child brides, child trafficking, prostitution, child and teenage pregnancies, sexual discrimination, inequality, and oppressed women have always been, and will forever be inextricably entwined with the “monogamist” mindset and culture.

In The Waiting Room

Our new baby needed his vaccinations and the doctor wanted some blood work done as well. Since we arrived early, we took note of other patients in the waiting room. The room was full. It seems to me that a doctor would be a profession that will never run out of business, and I certainly wouldn’t mind if one of my children wanted to enter the medical field.

Anyway, looking around at the other patients, it was instantly understandable where the doctors were making their money. There were a few single people in the waiting room, but most (perhaps at least 90%) were very young girls with their mothers. Obviously the doctor was trying to keep in check the STD fallout from the local “monogamous” night life.

No doubt there are other more dangerous social effects of this horrific lifestyle. Young girls, sometimes as young as 11 or 12, are pushing baby strollers or carrying babies in their arms. Ashamed parents, lying about the parentage, moving to a different city, divorces and broken homes, children being kicked out and disowned, then the young child and her new baby having to live off welfare, are all a direct result of this perverted “monogamous” culture. How can society and the legal system turn a blind eye to this heinous cult?

Perhaps it is because they are perverted themselves, and are already sexually active with young girls, or perhaps hope to be. In any case, the law refuses to punish these crimes, most likely because then they would have to admit that they also deserve to be punished. The worst part is that these young girls grow up know nothing else. They are completely oblivious that there are better lives available to them, lives where they can live free from oppression and sexual abuse. What a terrible environment to live in, the constant oppression and sexual discrimination of women in this “monogamous” society is overwhelming.

A Visit Home

As a disowned son, I do not get the opportunity to visit home very often. In fact I, and my children, are treated quite badly at times. This is not new and I should really learn to just stay away, but I am way too soft-hearted and I miss my family, even though they have decided that they do not want me around.

At first glance the initial greetings in the driveway seem civil, but that is as far as it goes. Once in the house the ridicule and insults start to sneak in ever so subtly.

With the first greetings over and plans solidified for the family gathering, I get in the car for a drive around my childhood stomping ground. I visit places like my elementary school, the church I attended, etc. The once tiny community has now grown so big. New houses, new subdivisions, and new businesses, all make my quaint little village seem so different. Like me, it has grown and developed and taken on a life of it's own.

Yet there is a sinister down side. As evening approaches, the number of people on the street increase. Elderly adults that were walking store to store, greeting each other with smiles, quickly fade like a fog before the morning sun. They are replaced by a much younger crowd. Teenagers appear with the encroaching night, like vampires in an old black and white B-rated movie. Boys and girls huddled together in little groups. The boys seem to be around 15-17, and the girls range younger maybe 12-15.

Some of the older boys have trucks that cruise the streets. Some with girls sitting so close they seem to be sharing the steering wheel. Others with no girl in them pull up to the groups of 12-15 year old girls, honk the horn, squeal the tires, and holler sexual offers back and forth. Most all of the young teenage girls are for sale, but because they are in such demand they are choosy. They all try to get the wealthiest boy, or the most talented or popular one. Then when that one is taken, they settle for a lesser one, perhaps one with an old truck. It's all about status in their "monogamous" cult. The girls look for the boys who will raise their status in the eyes of the other girls, and the boys look for the girls who they can afford. It is really no different than watching a bunch of peacocks on the nature channel.

As the evening grows into night, and some of the young girls could not sell themselves for the status of a boyfriend with a truck, then the younger teenage boys who are on foot have a chance to purchase their affections. Sometimes trucks stop and the young girl gets out to rejoin her friends and start the process all over again. It is a sad state of affairs to see such rampant immorality hidden in the night of a "monogamous" community.

I had forgotten this dark side. On the outside, my childhood community may have new streets and buildings, but at the core it is still the same.

My mind reeled back to my own childhood in this once small farming community. Things were the same then, only on a much smaller scale. I remember the 12 and 13 year old girls who were already sexually active, some with babies of their own. I remember those who confided in me that they were being sexually abused by members of their family. Tears filled my eyes as I remembered my childhood in this "monogamous" community. I can't believe why I would ever have the urge to return to the family of my past, even for a visit. If anything, I should be running to the other side of the earth, let alone ever allowing my children to be exposed to my "monogamous" roots.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Unlawful Arrest

Today I came across this article about a young Ottawa woman who was unjustly arrested, physically harmed, sexually touched, and strip searched by police. Thankfully the judge put an end to the injustice, but the woman still has to live with the indignities imposed upon her. Her faith in the police will be marred. Who can she turn to for help? (http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/17112010/71/central-strip-search-police-cell.html)

I remember this sort of thing happening to me when I was a teenager. And it shaped my life. I began to look for a way to improve the system. First I wanted to have a ranch which would be a place of safety for other abused youth from "monogamy". But being a youth, I could not figure out how to raise the enormous amount of money that it takes to run such a ranch. Instead I volunteered and tried to help out programs like Big Brothers, and Boy Scouts, and would be a big brother myself to help an abused boy, who had the unfortunate experience to be raised in "monogamy".

My next idea was to become a police officer so that I could be one of the few policemen that would actually act according to the law, but after meeting several police constables I realized that I was fighting a loosing battle. They followed a strict "us vs them" mentality, which was something that I was strictly opposed to.

As life went on, I became interested in counseling, and attempted to pursue a career in that field. Being very zealous, I got a job in the trenches, working in the Young Offender system. My task was to counsel youth and work on rehabilitation. It was a very difficult, and heart wrenching position. I have worked with youth from many different backgrounds and who have committed some of the most serious of crimes. The problem was that I, and the other counselors were severely limited in our options. It was a constant battle to fight against the system. I saw police officers and correction officers act in a manner that was completely disgraceful, destroying any confidence that we could instill in the youth about the legal system. Often times, the behaviour of the officers would undo any progress the youth made. It was a daunting task.

After several years, I decided to retire from the correctional system and enter the private sector. I have professionally counseled so many children abused by the "monogamists" that, even though I logically know that there are many kind "monogamists", I cannot condone their culture or lifestyle. The worst part is that it is not the children's fault that they were born into a "monogamist" cult.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms

Rights and freedoms in Canada

1. The Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms guarantees the rights and freedoms set out in it subject only to such reasonable limits prescribed by law as can be demonstrably justified in a free and democratic society.

Fundamental freedoms

2. Everyone has the following fundamental freedoms:
(a) freedom of conscience and religion;
(b) freedom of thought, belief, opinion and expression, including freedom of the press and other media of communication;
(c) freedom of peaceful assembly; and
(d) freedom of association.

Equality before and under law and equal protection and benefit of law

15. (1) Every individual is equal before and under the law and has the right to the equal protection and equal benefit of the law without discrimination and, in particular, without discrimination based on race, national or ethnic origin, colour, religion, sex, age or mental or physical disability.

Here's a quote from the Vancouver Sun

"Fundamentalist Mormons have already won the right to testify anonymously and behind screens in the reference case to determine whether the constitutional guarantee of religious freedom includes the practice of polygamy."

Now, am I the only person who sees the irony????

Why would anyone, in a country with such great freedoms, need to win the right to testify anonymously and behind screens? If we were truly free, and all citizens had equal protection under the law, why would anyone need to testify in anonymity? If so the Charter really can't mean all that much, can it? There's nothing quite like a political snow screen!

To read more of the article from the Vancouver Sun

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

The Brutal, Honest, and Unforgiving Truth

It may seem like an odd title for this topic, but to me it seems to fit rather well.

I have been surfing the net (Does anyone use that term anymore?) steadily since 1998, long before most people had internet connections (it was mostly just the rich or tech geeks that had them). Toni and I have been openly polygamous since we were married in 1992(even before), at a time when the only media attention poly relationships were getting was the odd update on a religious situation, either Mormon or Islamic. Then of course the media would focus hard on any negative they could find (and rightly so). Yet the negatives they could find were the exact same abuses that occur without bounds in "monogamous" relationships. And of course this has always been the focus of my blog.

Today, the media is switching positions and there are many articles and reports in favour of adult, consensual polygamous relationships, which is a great thing. Freedom is always a great thing. I am a firm believer in a primary gift which God gave to all, and that is the gift of freedom of choice. So, to me, freedom is the essence of all good laws and customs. The limitation of course being that those freedoms should not encroach upon another's freedoms, which has always been a tremendous source of conflict for the controlling/bully personalities. Yet there is still a silly, yet disturbing, propaganda being spread by both those who claim to be supporters of the poly lifestyle and those who claim to be living it, as well as warnings against living it by those who are in opposition. A well meaning group trying to warn others considering this lifestyle, that it is not all a bed of roses. And this is of course true. But once again, the focus is on the polygamous lifestyle, as if it were any different from the "monogamous" lifestyle is absurd. The same personality quirks exist in polygamous unions, as they do in all other areas of life.

Some of the Brutal, Honest, and Unforgiving truths that are being touted are things like jealousy, coveting, control, territory, bullying, dominance, abuse, legal spouse, legal ownership, life insurance, medical care, etc, etc. These are just some of the "brutal truths" that we are warned against in polygamous unions.

What a bunch of utter nonsense!!!!

If anyone considering this lifestyle has these problems, then they should go home and send their parents to their rooms for a time out. After all, these things should have been taught, and overcome, as children. Of course, there are always numerous excuses. Well, the Brutal, Honest, and Unforgiving Truth of the matter is that it is time to grow up.

These jealousies, and other selfish and self-serving behaviours, are addressed in all walks of life. From childhood, brothers and sisters, or friends, or whatever. In school, students are expected to get along and work out problems. As adults we enter the workforce, or marry, and still need to get along and work things out in our own circle of influence. This is no different in a polygamous union. If there is a jealousy issue, then work it out. Stop being a prissy little brat.

If you are coveting, then follow the commandments and stop. If you need something that someone else has, get your own. Chances are a little hard work will help you build a better character.

If you are a control freak, then knock it off. Try being meek for a change.

A territorial woman (and/or man) needs to get over herself. Be a family. Improve yourself, and improve your relationships. It looks completely stupid for a man to walk around marking his territory, and it looks just as stupid when a woman lifts her leg trying to mark her territory. If the woman(or man) cannot stop, then call the authorities and charge her.

The same goes for bullying and dominance issues. If a sports team was run like that, it wouldn't win any games. So get with the program and build your team, instead of ruining it. Decide before marriage, what focus your team is going to have and the method to use to accomplish it. That way everyone is on the same page.

Good communication is a must in the marriage relationship, just as it is in the business world. Can you imagine a business run the way most people run their marriages? Those businesses don't last long.

Abuse is a scourge and should be dealt with in the most strict sense. If you have a problem abusing someone (even if you have a reason) get professional help. Stop the abuse now. Abuse comes in all forms, physical, psychological, financial, spiritual, sexual, etc. Women abuse just as much, and in many cases far more than men. Abuse is not limited by genitalia. And stop saying you are abused just because 99% of the family income is not spent on your sugar addiction, or some other ridiculous nonsense. There are other people in the family, live together. And if you are so self-centered and want a different life, then get out!

A huge issue is I'm not the legal wife. I will be destitute if the husband dies, etc. Well this problem is easily resolved. Go to a lawyer. Wow, that was easy. Go to a lawyer and have contracts drawn up. Go to an insurance agent and have an insurance policy drawn up for the second wife. It is really that simple. Stop whining and get it done. If you are contemplating marrying into a family, then discuss these things. Make your choice. Some poly families give the women all the legal rights and put everything in their names. Figure out what it is that you want and go after it.

On the issues of Medical Care. Again, communication is the key. Ask. Yes, people can and do lie. This is a fact among all marriages, even "monogamous" ones. "Oh no! No person in a "monogamous" mindset would ever lie!" If this is how you think, get out of fantasy land and pay attention. If you prefer to live in fantasy land, then what are you complaining about. Ask questions, follow your instincts. Take some time to get to know people. It is actually quite easy with polygamous families. Things are so much more difficult to hide. You will be able to talk to your potential relatives, friends, children, ecclesiastical leaders, etc.

And don't forget all the warnings about jealousy surrounding sex in a plural marriage. Well, I hate to say it, but most jealous women that I meet are not virgins and certainly have had sex with men that have had other women, so what is the problem? Jealous women are not exactly known for their abstinence, and it is not unheard of for them to have sex with their best friend's boyfriend. They claim some sort of morality, by putting a qualifier on it, like "they were broken up at the time" etc. Well, if it is that easy, then just lie to yourself and put the same qualifier on it during the marriage. "Oh, my husband and his other wife are broken up this morning, so I'm going to invite him over for a little breakfast in bed." And if this seems stupid to you, I'm glad you are catching on. Imagine how good your life would be if you were using a fully functional brain. And before I get loads of comments saying that men are sexual deviants too, you are correct. So give yourself a big pat on the back for being special and having a justification for your own illicit behaviour.

What about the law? Isn't polygamy against the law? There are several places where polygamy is definitely not against the law, and in fact multiple partners are protected by law. So just move to one of those provinces. It is that simple.

Now, I'm sure that all the whiners are going to say "Oh, if it were only that easy. Joseph is just pedaling a lot of easy answers, he doesn't know what I have been through, etc". Well then you'll just have to learn the hard way. Enjoy your drama. No wonder TV is plagued by "spaz" shows.

Basically, plural marriage is a committed relationship, like any other. And just like in a "monogamous" relationship, we learn and grow together. There will be problems, and if you can't get along or don't want to learn and grow together, then don't marry in. Stop listening to all the "expert" advice. Poly families are the same as any other family. Just imagine spending your life with the wonderful group of friends that you grew up with, or went to college with. You got along with them, and it was a great experience. Well, it is the same in a good plural family too. It can be a great life, just leave your crap at the door and make friends.