Up To The Present

Emotional, sexual, social, and financial abuse, were not the limit of abuse that Mary-Beth suffered from her husband. She was terrified of him. He would shove her and hit her. One time he “bumped” into her with the truck, causing serious injury to her knees. (To this day, her knees still give out on occasion.) Lorne had learned his lesson, and now began spreading roomers to her family and friends before Mary-Beth had a chance to tell anyone of the physical abuse. Then when in public, every time Mary-Beth would come near, or reach out her hand, he would be certain to flinch to corroborate his lies. He successfully turned her friends against her, and even succeeded in convincing our mother that Mary-Beth was the violent one. On one occasion, her mother even advised Lorne to call the police, and she would help to have Mary-Beth arrested.

After the baby was born, Lorne seemed to give in once in a while to his wife’s need for affection, but he was only interested in weird sex acts that caused pain and physical damage to Mary-Beth. In fact the more painful it was for her; the more he seemed to like it. He was continually subjecting her to pornographic music, movies, and books to try to get Mary-Beth to lower her inhibitions for sadistic sex acts. Then when his “needs” were not met sufficiently, he began to look outside of the marriage. Until one time, Mary-Beth caught him dating someone.

He had gotten a temporary job, and had been coming home from work in the mood for romance. Mary-Beth thought that he was turning over a new leaf, when in reality, he was feeling guilty for dating one of his co-workers. So he had been paying extraordinary attention to his wife. It seemed too good to be true, and it certainly was. Lorne brought home a virus and infected Mary-Beth. She got quite sick for a while, but recovered enough to be active once again, but she will now carry this virus for the rest of her life.

This last betrayal has been too much for her and she has finally contacted me and told me what has been happening. I have since had a ‘talk’ with Lorne and made it very clear that I would now be looking out for my sister and niece, and that I would be checking in with them daily. I am hoping that my dear sister will come to her senses soon, and will leave behind the demonic philosophy of the “monogamous” lifestyle.

Condensing The Story

I suspect that, even though I have been condensing the story of abuse that my sister has suffered at the hands of the “monogamists”, perhaps I have not been condensing the story enough. Mary-Beth’s life of suffering is very similar to the stories of other women living through abusive situations, so perhaps I will shorten her story a bit more.

As food supplies became extremely low, Mary-Beth had to stoop to begging. She was still working part time, with the odd full day of work, but Lorne spent all the money on entertaining his friends. If she protested he would threaten to take the baby and leave her. So to get food, Lorne had her beg from their church. Even though their church gave them food, the food was not free. Mary-Beth had to work it off by doing odd jobs for the church. Now, she was working part-time for her uncle, part-time for the church, then going home and taking care of her daughter and growing a garden. It was too much and she was exhausted. The food that she begged from the church came with far too high a price tag. Every time she begged, she felt a piece of her break, and she would cry. She promised herself that she would starve before ever begging for food from the church again.

To some readers, this next thought may seem too extreme to be real, but just imagine having to live daily through abuse at the unrelenting hands of a “monogamist” sociopath.

After coming home from work one day, and seeing her child crying softly, Mary-Beth’s heart sand, and she quickly, but quietly because Lorne was in the room, asked what was wrong. Softly and abashed, the child whispered that she was hungry. With tears in her eyes, Mary-Beth went outside walking around and praying for food for her child. She was so distraught that she began trying to get up the courage to cut off one of her own fingers to make a soup to feed her child.

It is easy to starve yourself, but to stand by and watch your child starve will drive people to extreme measures. Those who are outside looking in, who have never lived through serious abuse, will never understand the oppression and fear that a victim lives through.

At this time something changed inside her and she broke again. She knew that if she went back to begging from their church, that she would be controlled and humiliated by them, and they would treat her as if she were worthless. She would have to spend even more time away from her daughter. And she could not bring herself to sell her body, though the thought was more acceptable than being sold into slavery to her "monogamous" church.

Then she happened to notice the wildlife all around her, so she decided to learn to hunt. She knew it was against the law to poach, but she did not know what else to do. Eventually though, she did get her hunting licenses and hunted legally for the most part.

The Birth Of An Angel

It was a week or two after the birth of my niece, before they took the child to their church to tell everyone about the new baby. Mary-Beth held tight to her new child. For a new mother, there was a deep sadness in her eyes, instead of joy. She smiled shallowly, as everyone oooed and awed over the baby, but rarely did she allow anyone else to hold the child. Of course that didn’t stop Lorne. He took the child from it’s mother and passed the baby around to everyone.

Mary-Beth stood beside me, her eyes filled with tears, silently pleading with me for help. I walked over and asked to hold my new niece, then returned the child to it’s mother. Lorne didn’t dare take the child again as long as I was standing there, but he certainly took notice. Any chance he got, he made sure to take the baby from it’s mother and pass it around, then turn to smirk at me.

It was not long before Mary-Beth had to go back to work, and leave the baby with Lorne. At first it didn’t seem all that bad, but it did not take long before it became painfully obvious that the baby didn’t seem to be growing much, and often had a rash. Apparently Lorne had been wrapping the baby up in blankets and just leaving it alone in the crib all day. Lorne rarely changed the baby, or fed it while Mary-Beth was away at work. Lorne’s neglect of the baby got so bad that Mary-Beth had to quit working full-time in order to take care of the baby.

With the loss of income, and Lorne's spending habits, they had less and less to eat, and often Mary-Beth had to hide the baby food from her husband. When Mary-Beth would try to feed the baby, Lorne would steal the baby’s food right off of it's plate. Eventually, Mary-Beth began to feed the baby in secret. She would hide food from her husband, then chew up the food for the baby, instead of running the food processor, which would attract Lorne's attention. As spring arrived, feeding the baby became easier. Wild strawberries grew in the ditch, and other berries she scavenged from the bush. Perhaps one of the worst things was that the odd time she would collect road-kill.

The abuse of children is a heinous crime that should never be overlooked. How can the government continue to allow the evil practice of “monogamy” to continue?

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Abuse Through All Eternity

The year after the marriage, Mary-Beth went even further into her abusive marriage. It was insane. She had been brainwashed into believing that her only hope of salvation was contingent upon her agreeing to be married in the afterlife to this wicked man. But her life only got worse. Much worse.

Any normal person would ask, why would she want to be married to this guy in the afterlife, especially if her mortal life with him was so bad? But this is what happens when anyone is inducted into a cult. Everything that you are exposed to is tainted with their own spin on things. It goes on day and night until you cannot think for yourself anymore.

They told her that if she did not marry this guy for the hereafter, that their "monogamous" god would take the child away and give it to someone else. She had no choice, but to submit to her manipulative husband and abuse for all eternity.

Emotional abuse involves harming a person's sense of self. It includes acts (or omissions) that result in, or place a person at risk of, serious behavioural, cognitive, emotional or mental health problems.

For example, emotional abuse may include verbal threats, social isolation, intimidation, exploitation, or routinely making unreasonable demands. It also includes terrorizing a mother by threatening to steal her baby.

Abusers may use a number of different tactics to manipulate thier victims, to exert power and control over them, and prevent them from running away from the abuse or seeking support. The people who are being abused are usually in a position of dependence on the person who is abusing them.

Abuse is a misuse of power and a violation of trust. The abuse may happen once or it may occur in a repeated and escalating pattern over a period of months or years. Often the abuse changes form over time, allowing the abuser to change tactics to accomplish the manipulation. More often than not, abuse tactics are very subtle, often mimicking true concern.

But abuse is always clearly apparent when we remember this one principle, that true love and concern will never deny anyone their free agency.

True love and concern will never exercise control over anyone, in any degree of unrighteousness.

Her Secret Revealed

Mary-Beth was 7 months pregnant before she began to show. I believe that only her and Lorne knew that she was pregnant up until that time. Though Mary-Beth walked around like an automaton, void of emotion from the depth of emotional and sexual abuse that she was living through, once in a while she would place her hand on her abdomen and drift deep into fantasy. But her fantasy was not like others’, full of thrills and new experiences, or dragons and exciting stories, instead her fantasies were running to a place of safety where she could live in peace with her soon to be born child.

This wonderful fantasy did not last long though. It was soon broken by thoughts of failure. What if she couldn’t escape? What if he caught her and the baby and brought them back? His “monogamous” family was large, and had substantial wealth, they could easily afford the best lawyers and take her baby away.

Lorne had been successful in turning the leaders of their “monogamous” cult against her. And obviously word had gotten around, because other members of their congregation had begun to express their disdain for Mary-Beth as well. And now, with more and more people knowing that she was pregnant, her hopes of escape began to dwindle. She should have left months ago. She should have already tried to escape from this insane cult. She should have given up all hope of eternal salvation and run far from the abuse of heaven’s “monogamous” cult.

Kissing and Grinding

After Mary-Beth had met with her Bishop and her stake presidency, everything changed. Lorne obviously felt vindicated, and became more open in his flirtations with women. I often saw him kissing women on the lips, grabbing them tightly around the waist and tilting his pelvis into theirs. He no longer seemed to hide his flirtatious behaviour. He went to visit old friends and flames, and basically returned to his old lifestyle. He stopped working and just slept all day.

I was often worried that Mary-Beth would commit suicide, so I tried to stop in as often as I could. Most times Mary-Beth was away at work (she often worked two jobs), and I often woke Lorne from his beauty sleep. The house was a mess. The floor was sticky, like a movie theatre, and the dishes were always filthy and spread all over the house. He slept on the couch and was covered in crumbs and junk food wrappers. It was horrendous.

Even though Mary-Beth worked two jobs, they never seemed to get ahead. I found out later that Lorne had been taking all the money, and wouldn’t let her have any. He had all new clothes, and she was going to work in pants with patches on them. Her glasses became badly scratched and she needed new ones for years. I helped her out whenever she would let me, but she was taught to believe that suffering whatever God and her church wanted her to suffer was what she was supposed to do. They taught her that if she did not submit to their ill treatment, then she was rebelling against God and would be cast into hell. They had brainwashed her to an insane level, and she just took it all.

He spent their money on parties and hanging out with his girlfriends. And during all this, Mary-Beth believed that she would go to hell if she spoke out against her “monogamous” husband and their “monogamous” church.

It may be common knowledge to those of us outside these cults that this is abuse. And most of us feel that this kind of a sadistic religion that makes God out to be a respecter of persons, is far outdated, belonging in the annals of history. But to those who get caught up in these serial “monogamy” cults, it is the only thing they know. They are victims of abuse. No less. Many of them suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder. Many of them are manic depressive (bi-polar) and are on anti-depressant medications. They often suffer from physical or sexual abuse, and believe that their feelings of guilt and shame are righteous punishments from God. It is very difficult for them to adjust to a healthy life outside of the “monogamist” cults.

Begging Ecclesiastical Leaders For Help

It was late one summer evening, when Mary-Beth showed up at our house. She smiled and greeted us with hugs at the door, but it was obvious that she had been crying. I immediately asked her if she was okay, but she assured me that she was.

Mary-Beth was not one to run away from her problems. She always tried to fix them herself and if she couldn't, she would ask for help in such a round about way that I never really knew what the problem actually was. I was often perplexed, but I knew that she would not have shown up without her husband, unless there was a serious problem.

She asked if she could spend the night and if we could take her to church tomorrow. So we pulled out the couch and found her some blankets, and Toni gave her PJ's to wear, and we said goodnight. It was a strange visit. She never told me what it was about until years later.

The next morning we all piled in to the van and were off to church. Mary-Beth borrowed some dress clothes from Toni, because she only had the clothes that she showed up in, which were casual, but heavily laden with sweat. She had obviously been walking for hours.

Church was a little awkward. Lorne was there chatting with other members of the congregation, not too concerned about the situation. Then upon seeing me walk in with Mary-Beth, his countenance changed. He began to look worried. (As a result of being abused as a child, I had built my muscles quite large to deter my dad from repeating the abuse, so at this time I was a little intimidating in appearance.)

Mary-Beth walked up to Lorne and told him that she would like him to visit the Bishop with her after the meeting, to which he reluctantly agreed.

During the service, Mary-Beth sat close to my side. She didn't say much, but put on a great show of strength. She was determined to make her marriage work, and she was not going to be one of those people that always complain about their spouse, spouting their personal problems to everyone.

After the meeting, she looked in my eyes and said nothing. My heart ached. I knew that this was serious. I had not seen that look since Mary-Beth and I were children. She only had that look when we were being molested. My teeth clenched with the flood of emotions that it brought back. I followed her to the Bishops office. They both went in and I stood outside the door. I could not hear most of what was said inside the room, but near the end of their meeting I could hear laughter. At first I was relieved, thinking that all had been worked out and everything would be okay. Then the door opened and Mary-Beth came out with her eyes clamped shut, and tears flowing down her cheeks. She reached out and I took her hand and walked quickly with her out of the church. Behind us, the Bishop and Lorne were laughing and shaking hands.

At the time, Mary-Beth wouldn't tell me what had gone on in the Bishop's office, so I just sat there on the curb beside her. What else could I do? I knew something was terribly wrong, but she wouldn't tell me. [I learn now, from her journal, of the previous post "Smell This" and that she had actually went to the Bishop to ask for his help in marriage counselling. She had forgiven her husband for lying to her and marrying her, even though he knew that she only wanted to marry a man who had kept the law of chastity. She felt raped. Deceived into marriage with a person that she did not want to be married to. And even though she felt this way, she was willing to forgive, and work things out.

When they went into the Bishops office, she told the Bishop that she had been deceived into marrying Lorne but that she had forgiven him and wanted to help Lorne start the repentance process. Apparently, Lorne had told the Bishop of his philandering with a "this happened to me" twist. The Bishop began to laugh and told Mary-Beth that she would be hard pressed to find a virgin man in the church. Then Lorne joined in and laughed right along with the Bishop.

In my own experience, as I stood outside the door waiting, this laugh was not just a short burst, but a long full laugh that went on for a few minutes. Then continued after the door opened and Mary-Beth came out.

As we sat on the curb, she asked me to drive her to the Stake President (the next in authority above the Bishop in her "monogamous" church). So we all packed in the van again and drove the hour or so to see the Stake President. He wasn't available, but we were able to get an appointment with his first counselor.

The first counselor had always treated Mary-Beth with respect, especially when it came to interviews. She requested him that I be allowed to come into the meeting. She told him how her husband had been unfaithful and how she felt that now she was being adulterous be continuing their marriage. I was shocked. My sister was a firm believer in loyalty between spouses, but now she had been betrayed and the marriage covenant was broken, she wanted out. Unfortunately, the first counselor didn't see it that way. He just smiled and redirected the focus. He asked her if she loved him. And Mary-Beth, who loves everyone, answered yes. But she did not believe that she should have to stay married to an unfaithful man. But the first counselor just said that if you love him, then just ignore it and stay with him. She went to protest, but he reminded her that if she could not forgive, that she would lose her salvation. Then he asked her to leave. That was it.

Mary-Beth had forgiven Lorne, but she had been betrayed and no longer wanted to live with an adulterous man. But she also was very controlled by her church leaders. Those who are outside this "monogamous" cult will never truly understand the depth of psychological warfare used on it's members. When a church leader, whom the members revere as a mouthpiece of God, speaks, then the members will follow. They believe that to reject the counsel of God's spokesperson, is to reject God. In other words, if Mary-Beth were to deviate, even a minuscule, from the counsel of her church leaders, she would in effect be giving up her eternal salvation. She would be giving up her entire purpose in being. Then there is no reason to live.

On the drive home, I offered everything I had to my dear sister, but she declined. If God didn't love her, and if God wanted her to live in captivity and abuse, then she would submit.

After that, I rarely heard from Mary-Beth again. Whenever I was able to contact her, she just smiled shallowly and responded in socially acceptable pleasantries. Her eyes were sunk deep, and always red and swollen. She even stopped eating and lost a great deal of weight. She went into depression and had often contemplated suicide, to the extent of actually having everything ready to kill herself.

Then she found out that she was pregnant.

Smell This

The first year of marriage was riddled with abuse. One of the situations that seems to stand out to me happened in the first half year of marriage. It was a time when Mary-Beth seemed to have overcome her disappointment in her husband. On one day in particular, she had been praying a great deal, and felt the spirit of love, and was determined to forgive and love her husband unconditionally. She went into the house, remembering all the love she had for her husband now and during her courtship. As she entered the house, Lorne was coming down the stairs and smiling. Mary-Beth smiled back and began to ascend the stairs opening her arms to hug her husband. Just then, he stopped and held up his hand right in front of her face, and said smell this. His hand was dripping with sperm. He laughed as he kept teasing her and shoving his fluids into her face, “I’ll masturbate whenever I want, and there’s nothing you can do about it.” Her heart sunk.

As you can imagine, Mary-Beth was struggling again, desparate to save her marriage when Lorne dropped another bomb. He told her that he had indeed lied to her, when he said that he had saved himself for her. That he lied just so he could find a wife and settle down. He continued his laughter and told her that the reason he fell asleep when she had offered oral sex, was because he had already had oral sex with another girl, and compared to her, Mary-Beth was worthless at it.

Well, this was too much for Mary-Beth to handle. She began to seek the counsel of her ecclesiastical leaders.

Consummating The Marriage

From Mary-Beth’s diary the next ten days of married life carried a similar tone. Each time that her and her husband started to become too intimate, he would reject her and satisfy his own needs himself.

On the eighth day of their marriage, Mary-Beth writes that she was desperate to try anything that she could think of to make him love her, so she decided to attempt to use her mouth on him. He had mentioned this behaviour before, but she could not bring herself to do it previously. At first he seemed quite interested, but then as she was under the covers he went flaccid, fell asleep and began snoring. This certainly did not help her self-worth. She couldn’t help but wonder how he could fall asleep? Even if she did not know what she was doing, she couldn’t figure out why he would fall asleep if she was the only person that he had ever been with. She started to seriously doubt that he was a pure as he claimed to be. She was so hurt that she got out of bed, dressed and walked out the door. Previously, she had always been afraid to leave, because Lorne often brainwashed her into believing his psychotic “monogamous” religious beliefs that she would be going to hell.

She had no idea where she would go. She was in strange city and didn’t know anyone. When she was a couple of blocks away, Lorne caught up with her and asked what was wrong. He seemed so genuine, that Mary-Beth was caught off guard. He had run out after her in his bare feet, and so she thought that he truly cared. (Personally, I think that he was just afraid of losing a slave.) Perhaps because she had no money and no where to go, and was terrified that she was going to go to hell, she talked herself into believing that her husband cared and she returned with him.

On day ten, Mary-Beth was still concerned with not having consummated their marriage, and obviously had an incorrect belief that if they consummated their marriage then their marriage would get better. So she offered to spend all her money (she had a few hundred dollars set aside) on an expensive suite at a five star hotel. This seemed to work, and Lorne quickly agreed. Once there though, Lorne made a demand that if she wanted to have intercourse with him that she would have to perform a particular position. She submitted and did as he asked. It was a painful experience, but at the same time she was so excited that she began to have an orgasm. When the orgasm began, Lorne began to withdraw. She begged him not to, but he forcefully pushed her away, leaving her body contracting, but not with pleasure. (From this point on in her diary, there is a significant change in her writing. Obviously the result of serious neurosis.)

As time went on over the next few months, Lorne seemed to just stop all offers of intimacy and would only allow Mary-Beth intimacy once or twice a month. At first he just liked to watch her, then he would take care of himself. He eventually got to the point where he told her to take care of her own needs as well, though it seems to have progressed to that point over the course of the first year of marriage. She was able to have intercourse though if she was willing to pay him for it, usually by buying him expensive gifts.

The Wedding Night

In telling me her story, Mary-Beth has allowed me to read a few pages from her diary. I have tried to be as accurate as possible, without being too vulgar or sexually revealing, while still trying to tell her story accurately. I also ask her to approve of the posts before I post them.

Imagine you are a young girl daydreaming about your first crush. Of course he would be the cutest boy in school, and everyone would find him charming. The other girls date any boy they can, but you are patiently waiting for the right boy. Then one day it happens. You meet the boy of your dreams. He’s tall, good looking, a snappy dresser, and very charming. And best of all, he seems to be just as smitten with you as you are with him.

You start courting and find out that you have a great deal in common. He likes all the same things that you do. He loves to travel, wants to see the world. He loves god and volunteers often in church. He loves his mother and is kind and courteous to her. He is kind to children and would like to have his own some day. And perhaps most intriguing of all, he has never had a serious girlfriend, but has been waiting patiently for you too.

Then the day of your wedding arrives, and it’s beautiful. You stand beside your handsome fiancée, as the minister pronounces you ‘man and wife’. Then off to the reception where everyone toasts to your happiness, after which you arrive at the Inn for the first night of your honeymoon. It has been a very long day, and of course you are very tired, but you cannot sleep because you are extremely nervous about your first night together. With shyness you undress and get into bed. Your new husband comes out of the restroom already undressed, struts around the room without a bit of embarrassment. He walks over to you and, without hesitation, begins to touch and fondle you. He is too rough, but you chalk it up to first time jitters and inexperience. He lays back and invites you to move closer, so you do. He professes his love for you and says that he would like to go inside you. Then he sort of just stops and seems to not know what to do. Shyly you tilt you hips and try to help him out, but because of your inexperience you make a mistake and cannot get the angle right. Then all of a sudden his eyes open wide. He shoves you away and yells, “what are you doing?”

You stand off the bed, with tears flowing down your face. Your mouth opens to speak, but you cannot find the words. His face is distorted and he continues to yell, getting louder. You take a couple of steps back into the corner of the room, listening to him scream at you. “What are you doing? Why are you crying? I thought you loved me enough not to have sex? Why don’t you just tell me what you want? ...”

You just stand there and cry. Thoughts enter your mind to leave, just grab your clothes and run away. You don’t know what has happened. Your beloved husband, who has always been so kind is now laying naked before you, yelling at you on your first night together, your first night with anyone. But if you run, what will you say to your family? They would never understand. And the people at church, how could you face them? After all, you have been informed many times by the leaders of your “monogamous” church that if you leave your husband, you will be going to hell. At a loss, you just stand there with tears streaming down your cheeks, begging the Lord in your heart for help.

“If you want to have sex that bad, then come back,” he says, “You can be like other sluts and grind against me, or on my leg or something.” What do you do? If you leave, you will be ostracized by your “monogamous” family, by members of your “monogamous” congregation. What if he is just really nervous and doesn’t know how to deal with his embarrassment? After all, you have become very close, and this is certainly out of the ordinary. Maybe it is just too much for him to handle, and you just need to have compassion and give him a chance.

With these thoughts, you cautiously make your way back to the bed, and cuddle up to your new husband. He begins caressing you, gently this time. Then kissing you, he draws you on top of him, where he encourages you to move your pelvis. Not knowing what else to do, you oblige. When you are done, you touch your husband and try to encourage him, but he gets annoyed with you and takes care of himself. You wonder how this can be. How can he change so instantly? He always said that he loved you, always said that he was waiting for you his entire life. Now he treats you like this. You spoon in beside him, and silently cry yourself to sleep.

Those Rotten "Monogamous" Disease Spreaders

Since today is World AIDS Day, I thought I would jump ahead a bit in telling my sister's story.

As I will explain in future posts, Lorne, her husband has been quite promiscuous, and doesn't really care who he is with. As a result of his illicit behaviour he has brought home a disease, with which he has infected Mary-Beth. It is not HIV, but it is so disturbing that it could have been. Of course to knowingly, or indifferently infect anyone with any kind of virus is completely immoral and criminal.

I would encourage anyone who hasn't already, to check out the World AIDS Day Website, especially the Common Myths page.

One of the main reasons for the transmission of HIV or any virus for that matter is because the truth is often misunderstood, hidden behind layers of myth and false propaganda. It is a sad thing that some people are still so ignorant as to not know how HIV is transmitted. These virus' and diseases are not spread because of a person's choice of conjugal arrangement. They are spread specifically from an infected source to a non-infected person.

We really need to get the word out, so please head over to the World AIDS Day site and show your support.

I Feel Like Throwing Up!

What can I say? Where do I begin?

The things that I have been listening to (from my sister) are unbelievable. I have had such extremes of emotions, just listening to her story that I cannot believe what it would have been like to have personally lived through such abuse.

My immediate reaction was one of anger. I love my sister and I would do anything for her, and recently I wanted to have her husband arrested and thrown in jail. Then I wanted all the leaders of that "monogamous" church charged for Failure To Protect. But of course this is all for the courts to decide.

I am struggling with how to begin Mary-Beth's story. I mean, how can anyone eloquently word a story of abuse and betrayal? So I will just start blurting it out and going from there.

Mary-Beth was always a good girl. She wasn't perfect, and did do things wrong, but first and foremost her desire was to her family. For as long as I can remember, Mary-Beth had wanted to get married. We both endured similar child abuse, which brought us close and we often discussed what we would do when we were the parents and had our own children. Mary-Beth wanted to find a man who was not violent or controlling, while I wanted to find a woman who was not sexually abusive and vindictive. Two very tall orders.

Now to hear of the things that she has had to live through, I am sick to my stomach. I feel like throwing up.

Dear Sis

My dear sister (Mary Elizabeth) is going through some serious marital difficulties. When we were young, there were times when we were inseparable. We were always close, and often shared our hopes and dreams. You see, Mary-Beth is my twin. We always talked of everything that was happening. When I was a missionary, Mary-Beth joined the "monogamous" church, which I had joined when I was 16. Then she found a fella that seemed like a great guy. She talked to me about him always. We discussed everything. We have always been like sounding boards, bouncing ideas off of each other. Well, the time soon came when she wanted to marry this man.

When Mary-Beth and her fella became very serious, they started talking about the future. Mary-Beth certainly liked the boy, but would always be asking me what I thought. To me, he seemed okay. He had a job, was going to college, and seemed to follow all the standards of his church. Before she would accept his marriage proposal, she had asked him some very searching questions, like if he was, or had ever been violent, if he was chaste, was he not only willing to, but was his only desire to create a family and raise his children to be righteous? And of course, when all his answers were completely positive, Mary-Beth was thrilled to accept his marriage proposal.

After they were married they moved to his family's farm. This was an enormous adjustment for me, because Mary-Beth and I rarely talked after that. I mean, we did talk, but it was not like before. Of course this is only natural. Now she had a husband and she was the epitome of "being one" with her husband.

The problem was, that year after year, we talked less and less, until she only spoke to me maybe once a year. Then our conversations were limited to just pleasantries. However, we have recently began talking again. Mary-Beth has confided in me and told me what happened after she married her husband Lorne.

I have told her of my blog here and she is aware of my stance on her church. For years she did not approve of my decisions, but now she is seeing them in an entirely different light. She has also finally given me consent to post her story here on my blog. And so I will.