Go Play Outside

I usually speak about the abuses that I lived through as a child, but today I was thinking about Toni and life early on in our marriage. There was one time in particular that I began to think about. Probably because Toni's nieces and nephew are getting into trouble now that they are coming of age. I remember one time when those children were small, it is a fond memory, though laced with tragedy.

Toni's sister asked her if we would baby sit her three children while her and her husband went to a convention for the weekend. We discussed it and eventually agreed to watch the children.

The problem is that Toni's sister is a member of a "monogamous" cult. It is a lifestyle that is so conducive to brain washing and pedophilia that, in order to keep the women "happy" and blind to their abusive situation, it has one of the most extensive women's organizations (lead by men) of any religious organization in the world, and I try to stay as far away from it as possible. The common argument is that women lead the organization, but those women are chosen by the men. It is just a snowscreen to lull the gullible masses into a false sense of security. This trick may be commonly used in the political arena, but it obviously has applications in all areas of leadership.

But if everyone just turns a blind eye, then how will anything change? One of the main strategies of that church is to use the propaganda of 'family comes first', but then to give an acceptable reason for pawning off the children on others, or just sending them out to play, etc. It is the all too common, 'speak out against it in public, but pay no attention to it in private, unless the public finds out and we can no longer deny it'. So we decided that we would give the children at least one weekend of attention. It is not much of a gift, but what else can we do?

We arrived on Friday in time to see the children fighting while the parents were finishing their packing. The husband ignored me, and the Toni's sister gave me the 'polite' greeting. Even though Toni's sister also lived through the abuse, they consider me evil for taking Toni away from her abusive family. After all, everything seemed fine until I showed up. Before me, the children in their "monogamous" family just accepted the abuse as part of life. They kept silent and protected their father and their church. Yet, I fought my way out of an abusive family, there was no way that I was going to go back to that lifestyle. So I spoke out against the abuse. I showed Toni that there was a better life, a life of respect, of consent and honesty, of personal value and complete equality. That she did not have to live with the sexual, emotional, and psychological abuses of the "monogamous" society.

When Toni started to speak out against her father and brother, her siblings quickly turned nasty. They were happy in their denial, and began to treat me with disdain. I was sad for it, but I had already been disowned by my own dad, so Toni and I agreed that we would start our own family, free from these "monogamous" abusers.

But back to the babysitting. My sister-in-law tried ineffectively to calm her fighting children, promising them treats if they were good. This did nothing and the children kept fighting. They obviously had no respect for their mother. She gave Toni a quick run-down of the to-do list and phone numbers, as she walked out the door.

I immediately turned my attention to the children. They showed all the classic signs of neglect and verbal abuse. We started a game that quickly got the children active. Their attention did not last long though, and they quickly resumed fighting. I sent the boy to his room, and made sure his sister was okay. She was physically fine, but had retreated far into her mind, to a place of safety. I went upstairs to find the boy playing with his toys. A quick talk about helping his sisters, instead of hitting them, and we were back down stairs to try again.

Throughout the course of the weekend we played several games and the children fought several times. Our nephew had a dozen time-outs over Friday evening and Saturday morning. By Saturday afternoon, he was playing nice and getting along with his sisters. The children became calm and happy. And the niece who was lost in dreamland came out to visit us. She was a remarkably bright and happy girl while she was out.

Now, this was by no means a cure-all or even a long term solution, it was just a small break in their normal living conditions. For the children to have a break from the constant yelling, fighting, neglect, and all around bad parenting made us realize that our decision to babysit was actually helpful for the children.

We didn't do anything spectacular. No secrets. Just turned off the TV and went about cleaning the house, preparing meals, and taking care of the children. The main thing that was different, was that we just included the children in our daily routine. They helped pick up toys, gather the laundry, wash dishes, etc. They loved being part of the family, being worth something. Children love to contribute and their self worth is directly connected to their being an important, contributing member of the family.

Sunday was a great day. The children woke happy and we played games, read books, and fixed meals, and cleaned up, with no fights. No fights, that is, until the door opened and Toni's sister walked in the house. Almost immediately she started in on the children. You could see the poor children revert so quickly. The boy turned and began running around yelling and hitting his sister. The sister's eyes went glossy and she retreated back into that fantasy land of escape that she had created in her mind. My heart sank.

On the drive home, I couldn't seem to get out of the depression that the situation had left me in. They were innocent children. They had a right to be treated with dignity and respect. I am so torn up about the situation that I just have to take a stand, and speak out against the evils of "monogamy". What a horrible lifestyle to raise children in. The human rights violations are so boldly perpetrated, how can anyone ignore these children?