Escape To Polygamy

"Monogamist" Cult Finds A Politically Correct Way To Deny Their Own

2011-12-13T13:17:00.001-08:00

There are tens of thousands of [Cult] children that are suffering from chronic malnutrition—leading to lifelong cognitive and physical defects, and in some cases contributing to their death. ... “We estimate 80,000 active [Cult] children suffer from chronic malnutrition, and about 900 die from malnutrition each year.” While these findings may appear inconceivable to many [followers] throughout first world countries, the everyday reality of the acute needs among children in less developed countries is known by those who live with it every day

People want to know ..., why aren’t tithing and fast offerings taking care of it.

Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin said, “At this very hour on this very day, some members even in our [Cult] are praying for the miracle that would allow them to surmount the suffering that surrounds them. If, while we have the means to do so, we do not have compassion for them and spring to their aid, we are in danger of being among those the prophet Moroni spoke of when he said, ‘Behold, ye do love money, and your substance, and your fine apparel…more than ye love the poor and the needy, the sick and the afflicted.”

To read more:
http://themormonworker.wordpress.com/2011/12/13/for-i-was-hungry-and-you-gave-me-food/

It seems that in spite of the "Monogamist" Cult's stand, there are a few "monogamist" followers that have tried to come up with a temporary solution, perhaps in an attempt to make believe that "monogamists" are not all bad.

Perhaps they are not all bad. But, hey, lets not get carried away.

If This Story Doesn't Turn Everyone Against "Monogamy", Nothing Will

2011-12-02T09:34:00.001-08:00

All too often I find stories that just cannot be written about, or more accurately, I cannot find the words to write my disgust sufficiently. What can a person say about a cult that breeds this kind of evil?

A "monogamist" couple sending pornography back and forth over the internet, including a video of the mother committing sexual acts with her 10 month old son. It begs the question, what do they do to the children in private????

To read the story, including a copy of the Indictment, here's the address:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/09/09/ashley-jessup-rape-son-10-month-old-baby_n_956125.html

"Monogamy" and Commercial Sexual Exploitation of Children

2011-11-30T18:25:00.000-08:00

There is so much discussion in the Media about the exploitation of children in "monogamous" society, that it is overlooked. It seems that "monogamous" society has become accustomed to its own ills. Hypocritically, "monogamous" society seems to strive so hard to focus in on anything that may be considered abuse by polygamous society. But the question is why? Why do they put so much effort into striving to find abuse in other societies? Obviously it is the same answer as it has always been. Abusers always try to find fault in every other arena to make themselves feel justified in their own sick and perverse behaviours. And if they cannot find suitable fault, they attack the innocent by slander and propaganda.

Why are "monogamous" children sexually exploited?

There are a number of predisposing factors related to "Monogamous" society, "monogamous" families, and "monogamous" individuals that contribute to children of "monogamous" heritage being forced and/or recruited into the sex trade.

Some of the predisposing factors of the sexual exploitation of children in "monogamous" society are:

• Gender inequality instigated poverty
• High youth unemployment
• Racism and discrimination aimed at aboriginal and minority youth
• Economic and social stigmatizms
• Consumerism
• Organized crime and gang networks
• Media bias

Some of the "monogamous" family factors are:

• Intergenerational domestic violence
• drug and alcohol abuse
• sexual, emotional, and physical abuse
• Co-dependency
• Inadequate "monogamous" parenting techniques
• Insufficient supervision, affection, and attention
• Single-parent "monogamous" families

Some of the predisposing factors associated with "monogamous" individuals are:

• Early life traumas caused by emotional, sexual, or physical abuse, or by neglect and deprivation.
• Homelessness as a result of running away, or having to raise themselves, often resulting in a kennel type mentality
• Learning disabilities and neurological disorders
• Lack of education
• Being outcast because of sexual identity and labeling

It is not difficult to see the reality of "monogamy". Children subjected to this perverse "monogamous" society are at an extremely high risk to be drawn into sexual trafficking. The reality of living in such abusive situations, emotionally isolated from appropriate parental love, unyielding poverty, unemployment and homelessness, often coupled with substance abuse leaves many children of "monogamy" open to sexual exploitation.

A Story About Lies, Deception, Defrauding Welfare, Child Sex and Child Pregnancies

2011-11-25T10:14:00.000-08:00

Try as I may, I can never explain the true psychological, physiological, and ever-lasting damages of the perverse "monogamous" culture. Once again in the "monogamous" cult there is a story of child sex and children having children. It is so disgusting, but still the "monogamous" media writers try to portray the sex scandal as a simple childhood malady, when the truth is so very clear. Here there are two sets of parents, claiming autonomy, in other words negligent parents, refusing to give the proper love and supervision to their children.

And yet, after claiming that they knew nothing of the situation, the parents are going to come out ahead. Now they have a new child in the house and their daughter is a single teen mother, eligible for all sorts of monetary government benefits. What an easy way for dead-beat parents to defraud the welfare system and get a larger income, but to pimp out their daughter. But who can they pimp out their daughter too? It takes a great deal of planning and forethought to pull off a scam of this calibre. They have to choose a boy old enough to produce sperm, but young enough to be easily controlled and not put up too much of a fight. Not to mention the delicate interaction that will be needed with the boy's parents. So who better than an 11 year old boy with a single mother, who feels a high level of shame?? Or perhaps both sets of parents have an understanding? What right does the 11 year old boy have to his unborn child? He is just a pawn in the satanic rituals of the carnal followers of "monogamy".

If this is how the children of "monogamy" are being used and treated, what kind of home life can we expect for the now unborn child? Are we to expect that the child will have any love or happiness in its life? Any freedom, or choice for the direction of its own life? Or more likely, can we expect that the child will be shamelessly inducted into the carnal lifestyle of "monogamists", to be used to gain money, or to fulfill the sick and perverted lusts of its predecessors?

The story can be found here at:
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/father-11-hides-as-pregnant-girl-faces-the-media-1246186.html

More Brain Washing From The Canadian Courts

2011-11-25T09:42:00.000-08:00

I had thought that perhaps I was being too cynical in my approach toward "Monogamy", and that is why I had set this blog to private, and had taken a break from revealing the truth about government forced "Monogamous" only marriages, but with the recent decision announced by the BC Courts, I once again feel the need to publish my story and reveal the truth about "Monogamy".

"Polygamy has no place in modern society. ... In our view, polygamy is harmful to society, to those involved with it, particularly to women and to children born within polygamous families," Nicholson said in a House of Commons.

The entire reason that I left "Monogamous" society, was to leave behind the abuse and harms that were found there. I found the Polygamous relationships to be far more kind and considerate than any that I have ever seen among the "monogamous". I will never return to the violent and abusive "momogamous" society.

To read more on the Courts decision:
http://news.sympatico.ca/canada/provincial_court_upholds_ban_on_polygamy/fee012c8

Charged With Sex Assault, An Award Winning Monogamist.

2011-01-20T10:13:00.000-08:00

"The married father of three, who's from Surrey, B.C., must abstain from any contact with his victim..."

It almost seems too incredulous. A "monogamist" must stay away from his victim? How could this be? How could it be a "monogamist" that commits crimes of sex abuse? After all, doesn't the media espouse that only polygamous unions are evil? Maybe they got their facts wrong, and perhaps they meant to say that the polygamous father of three is charged with five counts of sex assault?

And to make matters worse, the victim was under the age of consent. Well, the media has been very conscientious about teaching us that only polygamists would do such a thing, that "monogamists" wait until the child reaches the age of consent before they involve them in sexual exploits.

Why is it that polygamy is on trial again?

Read more: http://news.ca.msn.com/canada/cp-article.aspx?cp-documentid=27307441

Same Sex Marriage Laws

2011-01-20T07:51:00.000-08:00

The Saskatchewan government has decided to tell its marriage commissioners that they must perform same-sex marriages if requested.

Hopefully Saskatchewan will soon fully recognize polygamous unions as well.

Read More: http://news.ca.msn.com/local/saskatchewan/article.aspx?cp-documentid=27298669

Update

2011-01-19T07:00:00.000-08:00

I have taken a short break from blogging and have decided to spend most of the winter concentrating on writing, and playing snowball games with my family.

It is so amazing to have the freedom to play outdoors and not have to worry that the "monogamists" will spot our children and cause all sorts of havoc. An interesting article was written in the Columbia Daily Tribune [http://www.columbiatribune.com/news/2011/jan/13/police-arrest-woman-walking-kids-in-snow/] about a woman who was arrested for walking her children in the winter. Now, surely more of the story will come out as the case proceeds, but in light of what has been reported, this is insane. I certainly hope those police constables never come to Canada. They would have to arrest the populace of the entire country.

It was reported that the woman "...told officers she left the children’s grandmother’s residence on Sanford because she felt uncomfortable." Was she afraid for the children's sake? Did she leave because of abuse? Could the police have escorted her and her children to a shelter, instead of a jail cell? Clearly the article did very little to address the story. Instead it was written with an obvious bias to gain public sympathy in favour of the children being reprimanded into custody for early "monogamist" grooming. Hopefully, more of the story will come out, if a reporter that is interested in the truth can be found.

National Knife Ban

2011-01-15T10:12:00.000-08:00

National Knife Ban
NEWSFLASH

CANADIAN COURT BANS KNIVES THROUGHOUT CANADA

Vancouver Clarion (www.vancouverclarion.ca)
by staff reporter Fartu Sharpe, Tuesday, January 11, 2011

In a stunning announcement in Ottawa today, the Supreme Court of Canada issued its ruling in the long-running legal controversy over the criminalization of knives. Several Canadian provinces have had prohibitions against knives dating back two centuries (since thousands of innocent Canadian settlers were massacred by knife-wielding savages). These laws have generally been seldom enforced, thus allowing millions to prepare meals and perform important medical procedures.

In its 4-to-3 decision the Court upheld British Columbia's ban on knives and ordered all Canadian subjects to bring all of their knives to local government collection centers within 10 days, or face a $10,000.00 penalty and a five-year prison term.

Chief Justice Hadabad Papercut, writing for the majority, reasoned,

" . . . if it can be shown [and it has been amply demonstrated] that knives are sharp and can kill people, then it is the opinion of this Court that they represent too great a danger to life as we know it. Thousands of innocent Canadians have died or been permanently disfigured by knives. Knives are inherently evil. Knives have almost assumed a life of their own. It is not beyond the realm of logic to conclude that some knives lie awake at night plotting to maim or kill their next victim. We celebrate this opportunity to bring justice to our great land and we now encourage the RCMP to arrest knives and anyone possessing them whenever they are discovered."

In a vehement reaction to the ruling, lawyers for the Canadian Civil Liberties Union protested that knives are no more guilty of harming people than automobiles. Speaking on behalf or the CCLU, chief litigator, Eli O'Reilly, complained,

"How are people going to be able to cook? How will people be able to cut their food? It seems to me that the size of government will have to grow exponentially just to provide sufficient police officers to watch every Canadian. Surely it is not realistic to hunt down every knife in the country? I can see the provinces stationing a Mountie in every home just to watch people to see if they own or use a knife. It is PEOPLE who do bad things - NOT inanimate objects like knives and broccoli. Where will it stop? Pretty soon, they will outlaw automobiles, because far more people have been killed or injured by cars than by knives. Plus, cars can be downright mean when they want to be!"

Canadian teen singing sensation, Justin Bieber (shown above in a threatening pose), who was recently outed as being a knife-lover, was visibly shaken when he heard the news at his California home today. Bieber expressed fear that what he perceived to be an "insane" ruling from the Canadian Court would gain traction in the States, where the Obama/Bernanke administration already plans to take away people's guns and home-grown vegetables.

I borrowed this post from the Fall of Reynolds. It fits so well with the BC trial.
http://fallofreynolds.blogspot.com/2011/01/national-knife-ban.html

Holiday Season

2010-12-28T06:12:00.000-08:00

Just a quick update!

As my readers can see, I have been no longer limiting my posts to just my family, but also included topics in the news, especially since the court case in BC has begun. There are way too many victims of "monogamy" to just keep silent.

After the Holiday Season, I will get back to blogging.

But, to tide everyone over, here's an interesting idea from NCBI/PubMed.gov/U.S. National Library of Medicine/National Institutes of Health (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12027028)

Alcohol use and serial monogamy as risks for sexually transmitted diseases in young adults.

Corbin WR, Fromme K.

Department of Psychology, University of Texas at Austin 78712, USA.
Abstract

Alcohol and condom use were assessed using global, situational, and event-level analyses in a sample of young adults (N = 305). Results varied by methodology, event, and partner type; an inverse association between alcohol and condom use was found only at the event level. Participants with strong sex-related expectancies used condoms less frequently when drinking at the time of 1st intercourse with their current partner. For most recent event with a regular partner, alcohol use was unrelated to condom use, but gender, relationship duration, and oral contraceptive use accounted for more than 25% of the variance. Thus, alcohol may increase risky sex early in a relationship, whereas partner familiarity and alternate contraceptive use play a larger role as relationships develop.

Here are some ideas from Stephen J. Dubner

Do We Drink Because We’re Monogamous, or Are We Monogamous Because We Drink?

He references a working paper the AAWE has just posted: “Women or Wine? Monogamy and Alcohol,” by Mara Squicciarini and Jo Swinnen.

Historically, we find a correlation between the shift from polygyny to monogamy and the growth of alcohol consumption. Cross-culturally we also find that monogamous societies consume more alcohol than polygynous societies in the preindustrial world.

It is an interesting article. If you would like to read it in full, check out http://freakonomics.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/12/27/do-we-drink-because-were-monogamous-or-are-we-monogamous-because-we-drink/

The ironic part is that there are some very serious and evidential psychological associations between abuse and alcoholism. It does not take a psychologist to see the connection between alcohol use/misuse to run away from conscience and accountability. Alcohol has long been used to dampen the conscience and lower inhibitions for the express purpose of obtaining goals which society and Jimminy Cricket would not approve. In fact, this is the only reason that people drink; to stop the negative/controlling feelings, and allow us to have what we could not bring ourselves to have otherwise.

When I return from my short hiatus, I will attempt to address some of these proven and documented associations, most especially how it applies to the self-righteous, mind controlling, abusive cult of "monogamy".

The Virtues Of "Monogamy"

2010-12-26T07:05:00.000-08:00

Here's a cartoon depicting the "virtues" of "monogamy".
http://www.thedocisin.net/?p=844

Family Update

2010-12-23T08:35:00.000-08:00

Well, I thought I would leave behind the political agenda today and update everyone on what is happening in our family.

First, Mary-Beth is doing better, but still goes through very deep and serious bouts of depression. She can be happy one moment, then instantly go very sullen. We have her over here often to give her a break from her abusive husband. Lorne has seemed to come to terms with our 'talk' and he is healing well. Mary-Beth tells me that Lorne has relaxed a lot of his abuse, and that she is able to tolerate the rest for the time being. My little niece is doing okay, and loves to play with her cousins.

Our children are doing well and growing fast. They are enjoying the winter snow. They love to make snowmen, go skiing and snowshoeing, and especially make snow cones. We just have to make certain that they have the snow cones early enough in the day, because that much sugar really gets them going.

Toni loves her job at the vet clinic, but is sad that she misses out on a lot of the winter fun with the children.

Our extended families have been leaving us alone for the most part lately. It is nice not to have to live with the constant threats they make against the children. There is so much peace in our lives, now that we have escaped from our "monogamist" past. The children no longer have to live with abuse and they are doing well in their studies. It is so amazing, they are happy and healthy now that they are far away from the brainwashing and abuse.

The Infamous “Monogamist” Colonel Russell Williams Is In The News Again

2010-12-22T12:47:00.000-08:00

The infamous “monogamist” Colonel Russell is a former commander of CFB Trenton. In October 2010, he was sentenced to two life terms for the first-degree murders in Ontario of Cpl. Marie-France Comeau, 38, of Brighton and Jessica Lloyd, 27, of Belleville.

The notorious “monogamist” pleaded guilty on Oct. 18 to more than 80 crimes, including the murders, two counts each of sexual assault and forcible confinement, and 82 break-ins and attempted break-ins. He is currently imprisoned at Kingston Penitentiary, and now his wife, Mary Elizabeth Harriman, wants a divorce after approximately 9 years of marriage.

Mary Harriman has not spoken publicly about the case and did not appear at the sentencing hearing of her husband, though she is a co-defendant with her husband in a $2.45-million civil lawsuit launched by one of the former Colonel Williams's sex assault victims. The victim claims the "horrific and reprehensible" attack has left her fearful and suicidal. She is suing Harriman, because Williams transferred an Ottawa property to his wife for the specific purpose of defeating the lawsuit.

In her defence statement, Harriman says that her husband did transfer his interest in their home, and other assets, but it was a "domestic contract", and there was "nothing untoward or suspicious about the transfer."

Here are a couple articles:
http://www.cbc.ca/canada/story/2010/10/19/russell-williams-day-2.html
http://news.ca.msn.com/top-stories/cbc-article.aspx?cp-documentid=26859299

Rapist Blames “Monogamist” Cult Cleric For The Way He Is

2010-12-22T09:48:00.000-08:00

Man gets nearly 20 years in Haiti sex abuse case

"NEW HAVEN, Conn. - A man was sentenced to nearly 20 years in prison Tuesday for sexually abusing children for more than a decade at a school he founded in Haiti, including some who faced him in the courtroom and testified that he threatened to put them back on the streets if they did not submit to his advances.

Perlitz admitted in August that he engaged in illicit sexual conduct with eight children who attended the Project Pierre Toussaint School for homeless children in Cap-Haitien. Prosecutors said Perlitz gave the children money, food, clothing and electronics and threatened to take everything away and expel them from the program if they told anyone.

Arterton said she believed there were at least 16 victims, based on testimony that authorities recorded on video by others who attended the school. Some of the six young Haitian men said in court that dozens of other boys were abused by Perlitz.

"The damage and the harm he has done is just so extraordinary in this case," Assistant U.S. Attorney Krishna Patel told the judge. "He should be punished for the fact that he did this to the world's most defenceless children. He is a danger to our children. He's a danger to the world's children.""

Brainwashing propaganda from the “monogamist” cults harm all children worldwide, not just to their own people. This evil elitist “monogamy” propaganda, passing for morality, has caused more wars and damage throughout history than all other factors combined. I would go so far as to say that it is this elitist mentality that is the sole cause of all war and oppression.

"In court documents, Perlitz said one factor in the crimes was his "dark and abusive relationship" with a priest — whom authorities have not named — he met while attending Fairfield University.

Perlitz's lawyers also wrote in court documents that he had "confusion and shame about his sexuality, and struggles with his identity; an ongoing, complicated and exploitive relationship with an influential priest; and increasing isolation and pressure while in Haiti.""

It is a thoroughly documented and proven fact that almost every abuser has been abused. It is time to stand against the “monogamist” elitism and put an end to child abuse in all it’s forms.

Read the whole story:
http://news.ca.msn.com/world/cp-article.aspx?cp-documentid=26856873

As They Sow, So Shall They Reap

2010-12-22T08:27:00.000-08:00

The propaganda and brainwashing of children in the “monogamist” cults is so thorough that this type of crime is becoming commonplace among them.

From MSN news:
6 to stand trial in Calif. homecoming gang rape
MARTINEZ, Calif. - A judge ordered six defendants Tuesday to stand trial on felony charges in the gang-rape of a teenage girl outside a Northern California high school homecoming dance.

The judge issued the decisions after hearing evidence over 20 days about each defendant's involvement in the Oct. 24, 2009, attack on the Richmond High School campus during a homecoming dance.

The 16-year-old victim was heavily intoxicated when she was sexually assaulted, robbed and beaten over two hours while spectators watched, authorities said.

Read more:
http://news.ca.msn.com/top-stories/msnbc-article.aspx?cp-documentid=26858999

These "monogamists" are so sick that they just stand around and watch as if this heinous crime were some form of deviant entertainment. Others even take pictures so that they can pass it along to their perverted "monogamist" friends, and post the pictures and video on the web, hoping to cause further suffering and torture to the victims by having them relive the horror.

"Monogamists" Utalize TV To Spread Their Message

2010-12-20T16:58:00.000-08:00

From Fox News

According to a new study conducted by the Parents Television Council (PTC), Hollywood is shockingly obsessed with sexualizing teen girls, to the point where underage female characters are shown participating in an even higher percentage of sexual situations than their adult counterparts: 47 percent to 29 percent respectively.

...

“The results from this report show Tinseltown’s eagerness to not only objectify and fetishize young girls, but to sexualize them in such a way that real teens are led to believe their sole value comes from their sexuality," said PTC President Tim Winter. "This report is less about the shocking numbers that detail the sickness of early sexualization in our entertainment culture and more about the generation of young girls who are being told how society expects them to behave."

“Storylines on the most popular shows among teens are sending the message to our daughters that being sexualized isn’t just acceptable, it should be sought after,” Winter said. “It is outrageous that TV executives have made it their business to profit off of programs that depict teen girls blissfully being sexualized by casual partners.”

“Certain shows, advertisers, etc. sexualize underage people, which does double damage: it sends a message to youth that their self-worth depends on their sexuality, and provokes inappropriate sexual responses from adults. This is irresponsible programming and is disrespectful to youth,” Los Angeles-based psychologist Dr. Nancy Irwin said.

What else can we expect from those deviant "monogamists", whose only purpose in life is to have sex with as many underage girls as possible? They are not grooming teenage girls by accident. These are well planned out, strategical programs, specifically designed to recruit young girls into the "monogamist" lifestyle.

Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2010/12/16/new-study-shows-images-sexualized-teen-girls-dominating-airwaves/#ixzz18hdZip4w

Will Other "Monogamist" Cults Follow Suit?

2010-12-20T11:52:00.000-08:00

Pope seeks to repair sex-abuse 'injustice'
http://news.ca.msn.com/top-stories/cbc-article.aspx?cp-documentid=26834736

Benedict said the Catholic Church must reflect on what is wrong with its message — and with Christian life in general — that it allowed for the widespread sexual abuse of children by priests.

The church must train priests better to ensure that such abuses never occur again, he said.

In their own scriptures Jesus said something to the effect of 'whosoever shall offend one of these little ones that believe in me, it is better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he were cast into the sea.' It is very clear that Jesus thought of child abuse as a very serious crime. Maybe they should actually follow their God, instead of molesting children. To be told by their God that they would be better off dead, than to molest a child, is a sobering thought.

We must ask ourselves what we can do to repair as much as possible the injustices that occurred," Benedict said. ...

"We must find a new determination in faith and goodness."

Benedict has previously acknowledged that the scandal was the result of sin within the church and that the church as a result must repent for it and make amends with victims.

Contrition is only a beginning. It would be a good start to repent and make amends with the victims, yet amends will be not be complete until the effects of the crimes no longer exist, and all else that the children have lost by collateral damage is restored to them.

"We must ask ourselves what was wrong in our message, in our entire way of configuring the Christian being, that allowed such a thing to occur.

It is obvious that serial monogamy is the root. Pluck it out and plant virtue in it's place.

But Monday's comments suggested that there might be some intrinsic problem with the way Christianity and its message is understood in the modern world that allowed for the abuse to fester unchecked.

There sure is! The belief that a person can do anything they want then "repent" later by saying a few prayers, or volunteering in their church, or just confessing a belief in Jesus, is a demonic teaching. Again their scripture says something like 'if your brother hath ought against thee, first go thy way and be reconciled with thy brother, then return and offer thy gift.' Even in their own scripture, they will not be accepted by their Lord if they are not reconciled with their brother.

But he said the crimes of the priests also had to be looked at in the broader social context, in which child pornography and sexual tourism is rampant and to some degree considered normal, and where as recently as the 1970s pedophilia wasn't considered the absolute evil that it is today.

Is this guy for real?

"The psychological devastation of children, in which human beings are reduced to a marketplace article, is a terrifying sign of the times," Benedict said.

Now if only the other "monogamist" cults would begin to follow suit and make restitution for their crimes against children. And organize themselves so that they never condone the practice again, even by association.

“Monogamists” Grooming Their Children For Sex

2010-12-19T14:54:00.000-08:00

An interesting article from LifeSiteNews:

“…children are being groomed for sex at increasingly early ages in primary school in government-approved sex education programs…”

Imagine having to live in a world where you do not have the choice to raise your children in safety; where the “Monogamist” government dictates that you must send your children through their illicit sex grooming programs.

“Presented to primary school children in three parts, the program starts by instructing children aged five to seven in the names of genitals and the differences between boys and girls, and between children and adults. In the other sections, children aged seven to nine are given full instructions in sexual intercourse, conception and childbirth. The program includes detailed illustrations of male and female genitals and masturbation, cartoon videos of adults having sex and a graphic presentation of childbirth.”

Imagine a world where the “monogamists” rule and your elementary school children are subjected to graphic pornography and lessons on exactly “how-to” give an orgasm to their classmates.

“Remember these are seen to nine year old children,” she said. The program is clearly aimed at grooming children to have sexual relations by the time they reach secondary school: “First you get them conscious of the sexual organs then you teach them how to have sex. You break down every inhibition, teaching them about sex, thinking and taking about sex as part of their everyday life.”

This is the most common method of grooming among pedophiles, as well as other criminals. If they get enough people hooked and believing their distorted view of morality, then they won’t feel so bad about their own deviancy.

The entire article can be found at the following address:
http://www.lifesitenews.com/news/graphic-sex-ed-programs-for-schools-grooming-children-to-have-sex-childrens/

"Monogamists" Murder Three Refugees

2010-12-17T07:24:00.000-08:00

A small family of Burmese refugees, including one small child, were found dead in their Regina townhouse this past August. A heinous crime against people who were different. How could the "monogamists" justify murdering a 3 year old child?

The strange thing is that the police have a 12 person task force assigned to work on this case, but even with all their expertise and technology, they are trying to get the public to believe that they do not know which of their people have perpetrated this crime. Sounds like a cover-up.

It is quite obvious that their "monogamist" cult leaders just need more time to find a scape-goat and to re-arrange the facts, plant new evidence, etc.

http://news.ca.msn.com/local/saskatchewan/article.aspx?cp-documentid=26782838

Saskatchewan Child Welfare Review Report

2010-12-17T06:59:00.000-08:00

http://news.ca.msn.com/local/saskatchewan/article.aspx?cp-documentid=26784996

A report on child welfare in Saskatchewan says the system is broken with too many children going into care — and it needs a major overhaul.

The Saskatchewan Child Welfare Review report was presented Thursday to Social Services Minister June Draude.

Titled For the Good of Our Children and Youth, the 53-page report says foster care is in crisis and the care some children are receiving may be doing more harm than good.

These are the same "monogamist" people that have the vanity to "help" the children of polygamy?

The numbers themselves are alarming, the report says. Last year, there was a daily average of 4,382 children who were receiving care outside of the family home, a 41 per cent increase over four years.

The number of children who are permanent wards of the state has grown from 260 in 2004 to 629 in 2009.

The number of children suffering abuse in the "monogamist" cults are increasing at a substantial rate each year.

It says children in Saskatchewan's child welfare system can be shuffled around from overcrowded foster homes to group homes. Some miss school and leave the system worse off, in some cases, than if they'd been left in their own homes.

The "Monogamists" cannot even take care of their own children, and yet they claim one of the reasons that they want to criminalizing polygamy is for the benefit of the children. Their programs leave many of their own children in a worse condition than before. It is very unlikely that they will do anything less to the children of polygamous families.

"Monogamist", And His 10 Year Old Child Bride

2010-12-16T13:57:00.000-08:00

This story was reported by cnews earlier this year.

MONTREAL - Self-described pastor Daniel Cormier, serving time for sexual assault of a minor he claimed was his child bride, has been sentenced to an additional nine months in jail for the sexually assault of a second person under 18.

"The court cannot give a bigger sentence because the accused has, since the events of the current case, been sentenced to 49 months in jail for a sexual infraction," Judge Claude Leblond told a packed courtroom Monday morning.

The 16-year-old was a parishioner and volunteer at his now-defunct Church of Downtown Montreal.

Cormier, seated in the prisoner's box wearing a winter coat, did not react to the judge's ruling.

Leblond also ordered that Cormier, whom he said showed no remorse for his actions, be included in the national sex offenders registry.

Cormier was sentenced early last year for the sexual assault of a 10-year-old girl whom he said he married during a ceremony. Cormier insisted he was innocent and that his victim was in love with him.

http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/Crime/2010/03/08/13154241-qmi.html

'Wards of the Court' looks at CAS

2010-12-16T13:11:00.000-08:00

Child abuse among the "monogamists" is so prevalent that they often entertain the practice of taking children away from parents who abuse and neglect their children. I agree that we should always strive to help innocent children, who are being neglected and abused. Unfortunately, taking children away from their families and placing them in the care of the state has often had more serious adverse effects, subjecting the children to even more serious abuses.

Even though they may say it, they admit they don't really know what it feels like.

While most people think they have some idea of what love is, two former foster kids said their upbringing in a group home has left them devoid of that emotion.

"I don't know what love is anymore -- we don't know how it feels," said Aulora Weeks, 18.

Read more
Posted By Heather Rivers, SENTINEL-REVIEW
http://www.casoxford.on.ca/site/1884/default.aspx

It Looks Like The Word Is Getting Out

2010-12-16T13:02:00.001-08:00

A Michigan psychology professor on Wednesday told the polygamy trial that men with multiple wives have no corner on the market of violence against their spouses.

Read more: http://www.theprovince.com/with+multiple+wives+only+ones+abuse+Expert+polygamy+trial/3983485/story.html#ixzz18JK0doGv

It looks like the word is getting out there. Don't be afraid to stand for liberty; tell everyone you can about the abuses of "monogamy".

Can An "Educated" Person Have A Rational Thought?

2010-12-16T05:29:00.000-08:00

While she noted that there have been several autobiographical accounts of former members of fundamentalist Mormon communities, Beaman says in her affidavit that assessing harm from that would be akin to extrapolating harms of monogamy by taking the accounts of people who have had abusive marriages.

It is nice to see that there are some educated people out there that can see beyond their diplomas.

Based in research done by Angela Campbell, a McGill law professor who testified earlier in the trial, and others, Beaman suggests that women in the fundamentalist Mormon communities have been wrongly stereotyped as having no choice or being brainwashed.

Brainwashing, she says, has “been largely discredited as a valid way to see those who belong to minority religious groups.”

Brainwashing, Neuro-Associative Conditioning, Linguistic Association, grooming, advertising, etc, are all closely related viable methods of conditioning people's thought patterns, though this does not mean that everyone who associates with a religion cannot think for themselves, nor does it suggest that those who do not belong to a particular religion, are not victims of the most simplistic of brainwashing.

Beaman, who also has a law degree, suggests that rather than stereotyping, society ought to assume that all members of minority religious groups “choose to be or remain involved in religious groups.”

“Such a position does not negate taking seriously allegations of abuse or underage marriage, for example, but assumes that the religiously committed have capacity as agents to make decisions.”

A main aspect of living in some religious groups is to live free from the abuses found in mainstream society. Yet there is always someone who deceives their way into a group in order to prey on others. It is not difficult to discern that those belonging to some minority groups would gladly help, and accept help, in curtailing abuse in all it's forms.

Not doing that, she says, means taking “a patriarchal position which treats religious minorities as being without the ability to make decisions. It assumes that we have the right to impose a particular worldview 'for their own good' on an assessment of their religious practices that is not based on empirical fact.”

Almost every abuser thinks that they have the right, or a justification, to harm their victims. Many abusers seek out like-minded individuals to validate their beliefs. Others quickly join to keep from being persecuted themselves. Soon a very large group of like-minded abusers have legalized control and power over those minorities who refuse to assimilate, minorities who want to live free from abuse and oppression.

Read more: http://www.vancouversun.com/life/enough+research+done+determine+polygamy+harmful+professor+says/3971442/story.html#ixzz18HU63pXy

Proposterous Libel In BC's Polygamy Court Case

2010-12-14T07:36:00.000-08:00

.

"...people often believe silly things, if given enough proof." OreSeur, The Well of Ascension

Here's a quote from the Globe and Mail:

"Prof. Henrich named a long list of social problems he said are associated with polygamy.

When men have multiple wives, they require younger women to meet the demand. Prof. Henrich said that leads to teenage brides, with young girls marrying much older men.

That also creates a pool of men, usually of lower economic and social status, with no one left to marry. Those men are more likely to commit crimes, including rape and murder, and abuse drugs and alcohol, Prof. Henrich said."

Now here are a couple of stories from CBC News yesterday:

Sketch of Saskatoon suspect released

The 17-year-old female victim was walking near the corner of Avenue R and 20th Street West on the west side of the city when a man approached and struck her.

He then dragged her into an alley and sexually assaulted her, police said

La Ronge man jailed for indecent assault

A La Ronge, Sask. father has pleaded guilty to sex-related crimes against minors dating back more than three decades.

Professor Henrich is an unfortunate product of an ignorant educational system, and now he is being called on as some sort of expert. It is all a sham.

I left "monogamy" years ago, because of the innumerable, and inexhaustible abuses that were inflicted upon me and others. I have found peace and safety in freedom and equality. I will never go back to the oppression of forced "monogamy".

"...people often believe silly things, if given enough proof." OreSeur, The Well of Ascension

Torture And Murder, Rampant Among "Monogamists"

2010-12-12T09:54:00.000-08:00

Another story of horrific abuse and satanic murder among the "monogamists".

http://news.ca.msn.com/top-stories/msnbc-article.aspx?cp-documentid=26716802

What a horrible environment for innocent children to have to live in!

What can we do to rescue these innocent children, who have had the unfortunate experience of being born in the deviant society of "monogamy"?

When will they pass laws against these satanic people?

The Deception Of Gender Equality In A Society Of Forced “Monogamy”

2010-12-11T11:58:00.000-08:00

Thousands of studies have revealed the damage that a parental break-up can have on children, but the prevalence of what experts call “multi-partner fertility or serial monogamy” is salt in their wounds. One study showed that by the time the first born children were five, 20% of their mothers had a child by a different man, and 27% of the children were living with their mother’s new live-in “monogamist” partner.

These "monogamous" relationships tended to reduce biological father involvement in the lives of the first born: Dads are less likely to come around when a new man is in the house. In the long run, it’s not even clear that the new boyfriends are good for the women involved, since mothers with children by more than one man “reported significantly less available fiduciary support and resources than those with children by one man.”

The women and children in these “monogamous” societies are often at the bottom of the economic scale. The are often reduced to living in squalid conditions, to which the mother has no recourse except to consign herself to a life of misery and accept the position that their oppressive “monogamous” society has unjustly placed upon them, to lower her standards and pair off with a self-serving, unfaithful “monogamous” man.

Multiplying the difficulties of the child-unfriendly atmosphere are the many fathers who go on to have children with another “monogamous” woman. The study reported that men with children in a new relationship spent less time and money on their previous children. One study also found (no surprise) that the quality of “co-parenting” declines when a new “monogamous” girlfriend or boyfriend enters the picture.

For the men who were adverse to the separation, the break-up often resulted in severe difficulty. Men who lived with their children worked longer hours and earned more, while those who moved out were more likely to become unemployed.

The studies also showed a tremendously detrimental impact on the children suffering in these "monogamous" societies. The studies clearly showed that children growing up with single mothers have more behaviour problems than those with two stable parents; those problems worsen with every “transition,” that is, every new “monogamous” relationship and break-up.

Evidence is clearly shown that instability affects children’s cognitive performance.

Worst of all, children growing up with a boyfriend or stepdad in the house are at greater risk of abuse, a fact horribly demonstrated in the daily reports of police officers across the country, of children being hospitalized and/or dying as a result of their mother’s "monogamous" boyfriend’s beatings.

Serial Monogamy is a blatantly obvious strategy of self-serving men to get as many women as they can without having to accept responsibility for their actions. It is a design of evil men that want to deny accountability for their behaviour, and turn women into chattel, to be traded back and forth, to be used, then cast aside, all under the pretence of fairness and equality. One only needs to consider the damage to families in “monogamist” societies.

For the millions of oppressed and abused women and children in these “monogamist” societies, life will not change until polygamy is decriminalized and freedom and equality and the protection of law, are available to all women and children.

Up To The Present

2010-12-10T16:48:00.000-08:00

Emotional, sexual, social, and financial abuse, were not the limit of abuse that Mary-Beth suffered from her husband. She was terrified of him. He would shove her and hit her. One time he “bumped” into her with the truck, causing serious injury to her knees. (To this day, her knees still give out on occasion.) Lorne had learned his lesson, and now began spreading roomers to her family and friends before Mary-Beth had a chance to tell anyone of the physical abuse. Then when in public, every time Mary-Beth would come near, or reach out her hand, he would be certain to flinch to corroborate his lies. He successfully turned her friends against her, and even succeeded in convincing our mother that Mary-Beth was the violent one. On one occasion, her mother even advised Lorne to call the police, and she would help to have Mary-Beth arrested.

After the baby was born, Lorne seemed to give in once in a while to his wife’s need for affection, but he was only interested in weird sex acts that caused pain and physical damage to Mary-Beth. In fact the more painful it was for her; the more he seemed to like it. He was continually subjecting her to pornographic music, movies, and books to try to get Mary-Beth to lower her inhibitions for sadistic sex acts. Then when his “needs” were not met sufficiently, he began to look outside of the marriage. Until one time, Mary-Beth caught him dating someone.

He had gotten a temporary job, and had been coming home from work in the mood for romance. Mary-Beth thought that he was turning over a new leaf, when in reality, he was feeling guilty for dating one of his co-workers. So he had been paying extraordinary attention to his wife. It seemed too good to be true, and it certainly was. Lorne brought home a virus and infected Mary-Beth. She got quite sick for a while, but recovered enough to be active once again, but she will now carry this virus for the rest of her life.

This last betrayal has been too much for her and she has finally contacted me and told me what has been happening. I have since had a ‘talk’ with Lorne and made it very clear that I would now be looking out for my sister and niece, and that I would be checking in with them daily. I am hoping that my dear sister will come to her senses soon, and will leave behind the demonic philosophy of the “monogamous” lifestyle.

Condensing The Story

2010-12-10T16:13:00.000-08:00

I suspect that, even though I have been condensing the story of abuse that my sister has suffered at the hands of the “monogamists”, perhaps I have not been condensing the story enough. Mary-Beth’s life of suffering is very similar to the stories of other women living through abusive situations, so perhaps I will shorten her story a bit more.

As food supplies became extremely low, Mary-Beth had to stoop to begging. She was still working part time, with the odd full day of work, but Lorne spent all the money on entertaining his friends. If she protested he would threaten to take the baby and leave her. So to get food, Lorne had her beg from their church. Even though their church gave them food, the food was not free. Mary-Beth had to work it off by doing odd jobs for the church. Now, she was working part-time for her uncle, part-time for the church, then going home and taking care of her daughter and growing a garden. It was too much and she was exhausted. The food that she begged from the church came with far too high a price tag. Every time she begged, she felt a piece of her break, and she would cry. She promised herself that she would starve before ever begging for food from the church again.

To some readers, this next thought may seem too extreme to be real, but just imagine having to live daily through abuse at the unrelenting hands of a “monogamist” sociopath.

After coming home from work one day, and seeing her child crying softly, Mary-Beth’s heart sand, and she quickly, but quietly because Lorne was in the room, asked what was wrong. Softly and abashed, the child whispered that she was hungry. With tears in her eyes, Mary-Beth went outside walking around and praying for food for her child. She was so distraught that she began trying to get up the courage to cut off one of her own fingers to make a soup to feed her child.

It is easy to starve yourself, but to stand by and watch your child starve will drive people to extreme measures. Those who are outside looking in, who have never lived through serious abuse, will never understand the oppression and fear that a victim lives through.

At this time something changed inside her and she broke again. She knew that if she went back to begging from their church, that she would be controlled and humiliated by them, and they would treat her as if she were worthless. She would have to spend even more time away from her daughter. And she could not bring herself to sell her body, though the thought was more acceptable than being sold into slavery to her "monogamous" church.

Then she happened to notice the wildlife all around her, so she decided to learn to hunt. She knew it was against the law to poach, but she did not know what else to do. Eventually though, she did get her hunting licenses and hunted legally for the most part.

Recovering From The Abuse Of "Monogamy"

2010-12-10T08:16:00.000-08:00

Many women caught up in “Monogamist” cultures are victims of severe sexual abuse. This abuse often results in a completely unhealthy addiction to sex. There are places that specialize in treatment of sexual addiction such as Bellwood Health Services. You can look them up on the net at http://www.bellwood.ca/

The Birth Of An Angel

2010-12-09T15:40:00.000-08:00

It was a week or two after the birth of my niece, before they took the child to their church to tell everyone about the new baby. Mary-Beth held tight to her new child. For a new mother, there was a deep sadness in her eyes, instead of joy. She smiled shallowly, as everyone oooed and awed over the baby, but rarely did she allow anyone else to hold the child. Of course that didn’t stop Lorne. He took the child from it’s mother and passed the baby around to everyone.

Mary-Beth stood beside me, her eyes filled with tears, silently pleading with me for help. I walked over and asked to hold my new niece, then returned the child to it’s mother. Lorne didn’t dare take the child again as long as I was standing there, but he certainly took notice. Any chance he got, he made sure to take the baby from it’s mother and pass it around, then turn to smirk at me.

It was not long before Mary-Beth had to go back to work, and leave the baby with Lorne. At first it didn’t seem all that bad, but it did not take long before it became painfully obvious that the baby didn’t seem to be growing much, and often had a rash. Apparently Lorne had been wrapping the baby up in blankets and just leaving it alone in the crib all day. Lorne rarely changed the baby, or fed it while Mary-Beth was away at work. Lorne’s neglect of the baby got so bad that Mary-Beth had to quit working full-time in order to take care of the baby.

With the loss of income, and Lorne's spending habits, they had less and less to eat, and often Mary-Beth had to hide the baby food from her husband. When Mary-Beth would try to feed the baby, Lorne would steal the baby’s food right off of it's plate. Eventually, Mary-Beth began to feed the baby in secret. She would hide food from her husband, then chew up the food for the baby, instead of running the food processor, which would attract Lorne's attention. As spring arrived, feeding the baby became easier. Wild strawberries grew in the ditch, and other berries she scavenged from the bush. Perhaps one of the worst things was that the odd time she would collect road-kill.

The abuse of children is a heinous crime that should never be overlooked. How can the government continue to allow the evil practice of “monogamy” to continue?

.

“Monogamy” Is Poverty For Women And Children

2010-12-09T11:01:00.001-08:00

Welfare rates in “monogamous” societies are through the roof. Economic freedom is severely reduced for women confined to “monogamous” marriages. The “monogamous” men are well known for their promiscuity. In fact the more deviant the “monogamous” males are, the more the females in that culture seek after them. The “monogamous” men just use women for sex, get them pregnant then leave them and their babies to fend for themselves.

Those cast away women and children often have no other choice but to live off of welfare, or worse, have to seek for work in the degrading sex trade. The deviant “monogamists” across this country needs to be exposed as the perverted child molesters and women abusers that they are. Their attempt to create a culture devoid of morality, subjecting women and children to lives of disparity is truly disgusting. The rampant sexual exploitation of children is accompanied by brainwashing them to believe that the kindness of God is a lie and that there is no hope for a better life, not here or in the hereafter.

Their entire “monogamous” culture is based on male status: who can be sexually active with the most women. They begin sexually grooming children from the time they are born, brainwashing young girls into losing their virginity and becoming sexually active. Then as soon as they are pregnant, they are cast aside and treated poorly. They reward sexual promiscuity, but punish women who bare children or want to raise a family. The unsuspecting women soon become entrapped in this oppressive “monogamous” lifestyle. Then once trapped, and often ashamed of themselves, they support the lifestyle that has entrapped them, helping to raise the next generation of sexual deviants, teaching the young men to idolize those whom they consider ‘studs’. They teach the young girls that they can do any sexual thing they want. The men entice the young women and adolescent girls by having them watch movies or listen to music specifically chosen to lower their sexual inhibitions, often getting the young girls drunk, or slip them a drug so they can have sex with them.

Abuse Through All Eternity

2010-12-09T06:39:00.000-08:00

The year after the marriage, Mary-Beth went even further into her abusive marriage. It was insane. She had been brainwashed into believing that her only hope of salvation was contingent upon her agreeing to be married in the afterlife to this wicked man. But her life only got worse. Much worse.

Any normal person would ask, why would she want to be married to this guy in the afterlife, especially if her mortal life with him was so bad? But this is what happens when anyone is inducted into a cult. Everything that you are exposed to is tainted with their own spin on things. It goes on day and night until you cannot think for yourself anymore.

They told her that if she did not marry this guy for the hereafter, that their "monogamous" god would take the child away and give it to someone else. She had no choice, but to submit to her manipulative husband and abuse for all eternity.

Emotional abuse involves harming a person's sense of self. It includes acts (or omissions) that result in, or place a person at risk of, serious behavioural, cognitive, emotional or mental health problems.

For example, emotional abuse may include verbal threats, social isolation, intimidation, exploitation, or routinely making unreasonable demands. It also includes terrorizing a mother by threatening to steal her baby.

Abusers may use a number of different tactics to manipulate thier victims, to exert power and control over them, and prevent them from running away from the abuse or seeking support. The people who are being abused are usually in a position of dependence on the person who is abusing them.

Abuse is a misuse of power and a violation of trust. The abuse may happen once or it may occur in a repeated and escalating pattern over a period of months or years. Often the abuse changes form over time, allowing the abuser to change tactics to accomplish the manipulation. More often than not, abuse tactics are very subtle, often mimicking true concern.

But abuse is always clearly apparent when we remember this one principle, that true love and concern will never deny anyone their free agency.

True love and concern will never exercise control over anyone, in any degree of unrighteousness.

If You Need Help...Call Anytime

2010-12-08T08:02:00.000-08:00

If you are stuck in a "monogamous" relationship, and want to get away from the oppression and abuse, remember others have left before you and have found their way to safety.

Here are a few sites to check out.

RAINN
http://www.rainn.org/get-help/sexual-assault-and-rape-international-resources

The Broken Spirits Network
http://www.brokenspirits.com/directory/index.cfm?country=ca

Women-Safe Network
http://www.womensafenetwork.com/index.htm?PageID=canada

Women's Web
http://www.womensweb.ca/violence/resources.php

Her Secret Revealed

2010-12-08T07:53:00.000-08:00

Mary-Beth was 7 months pregnant before she began to show. I believe that only her and Lorne knew that she was pregnant up until that time. Though Mary-Beth walked around like an automaton, void of emotion from the depth of emotional and sexual abuse that she was living through, once in a while she would place her hand on her abdomen and drift deep into fantasy. But her fantasy was not like others’, full of thrills and new experiences, or dragons and exciting stories, instead her fantasies were running to a place of safety where she could live in peace with her soon to be born child.

This wonderful fantasy did not last long though. It was soon broken by thoughts of failure. What if she couldn’t escape? What if he caught her and the baby and brought them back? His “monogamous” family was large, and had substantial wealth, they could easily afford the best lawyers and take her baby away.

Lorne had been successful in turning the leaders of their “monogamous” cult against her. And obviously word had gotten around, because other members of their congregation had begun to express their disdain for Mary-Beth as well. And now, with more and more people knowing that she was pregnant, her hopes of escape began to dwindle. She should have left months ago. She should have already tried to escape from this insane cult. She should have given up all hope of eternal salvation and run far from the abuse of heaven’s “monogamous” cult.

Kissing and Grinding

2010-12-07T09:56:00.000-08:00

After Mary-Beth had met with her Bishop and her stake presidency, everything changed. Lorne obviously felt vindicated, and became more open in his flirtations with women. I often saw him kissing women on the lips, grabbing them tightly around the waist and tilting his pelvis into theirs. He no longer seemed to hide his flirtatious behaviour. He went to visit old friends and flames, and basically returned to his old lifestyle. He stopped working and just slept all day.

I was often worried that Mary-Beth would commit suicide, so I tried to stop in as often as I could. Most times Mary-Beth was away at work (she often worked two jobs), and I often woke Lorne from his beauty sleep. The house was a mess. The floor was sticky, like a movie theatre, and the dishes were always filthy and spread all over the house. He slept on the couch and was covered in crumbs and junk food wrappers. It was horrendous.

Even though Mary-Beth worked two jobs, they never seemed to get ahead. I found out later that Lorne had been taking all the money, and wouldn’t let her have any. He had all new clothes, and she was going to work in pants with patches on them. Her glasses became badly scratched and she needed new ones for years. I helped her out whenever she would let me, but she was taught to believe that suffering whatever God and her church wanted her to suffer was what she was supposed to do. They taught her that if she did not submit to their ill treatment, then she was rebelling against God and would be cast into hell. They had brainwashed her to an insane level, and she just took it all.

He spent their money on parties and hanging out with his girlfriends. And during all this, Mary-Beth believed that she would go to hell if she spoke out against her “monogamous” husband and their “monogamous” church.

It may be common knowledge to those of us outside these cults that this is abuse. And most of us feel that this kind of a sadistic religion that makes God out to be a respecter of persons, is far outdated, belonging in the annals of history. But to those who get caught up in these serial “monogamy” cults, it is the only thing they know. They are victims of abuse. No less. Many of them suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder. Many of them are manic depressive (bi-polar) and are on anti-depressant medications. They often suffer from physical or sexual abuse, and believe that their feelings of guilt and shame are righteous punishments from God. It is very difficult for them to adjust to a healthy life outside of the “monogamist” cults.

Begging Ecclesiastical Leaders For Help

2010-12-06T08:11:00.000-08:00

It was late one summer evening, when Mary-Beth showed up at our house. She smiled and greeted us with hugs at the door, but it was obvious that she had been crying. I immediately asked her if she was okay, but she assured me that she was.

Mary-Beth was not one to run away from her problems. She always tried to fix them herself and if she couldn't, she would ask for help in such a round about way that I never really knew what the problem actually was. I was often perplexed, but I knew that she would not have shown up without her husband, unless there was a serious problem.

She asked if she could spend the night and if we could take her to church tomorrow. So we pulled out the couch and found her some blankets, and Toni gave her PJ's to wear, and we said goodnight. It was a strange visit. She never told me what it was about until years later.

The next morning we all piled in to the van and were off to church. Mary-Beth borrowed some dress clothes from Toni, because she only had the clothes that she showed up in, which were casual, but heavily laden with sweat. She had obviously been walking for hours.

Church was a little awkward. Lorne was there chatting with other members of the congregation, not too concerned about the situation. Then upon seeing me walk in with Mary-Beth, his countenance changed. He began to look worried. (As a result of being abused as a child, I had built my muscles quite large to deter my dad from repeating the abuse, so at this time I was a little intimidating in appearance.)

Mary-Beth walked up to Lorne and told him that she would like him to visit the Bishop with her after the meeting, to which he reluctantly agreed.

During the service, Mary-Beth sat close to my side. She didn't say much, but put on a great show of strength. She was determined to make her marriage work, and she was not going to be one of those people that always complain about their spouse, spouting their personal problems to everyone.

After the meeting, she looked in my eyes and said nothing. My heart ached. I knew that this was serious. I had not seen that look since Mary-Beth and I were children. She only had that look when we were being molested. My teeth clenched with the flood of emotions that it brought back. I followed her to the Bishops office. They both went in and I stood outside the door. I could not hear most of what was said inside the room, but near the end of their meeting I could hear laughter. At first I was relieved, thinking that all had been worked out and everything would be okay. Then the door opened and Mary-Beth came out with her eyes clamped shut, and tears flowing down her cheeks. She reached out and I took her hand and walked quickly with her out of the church. Behind us, the Bishop and Lorne were laughing and shaking hands.

At the time, Mary-Beth wouldn't tell me what had gone on in the Bishop's office, so I just sat there on the curb beside her. What else could I do? I knew something was terribly wrong, but she wouldn't tell me. [I learn now, from her journal, of the previous post "Smell This" and that she had actually went to the Bishop to ask for his help in marriage counselling. She had forgiven her husband for lying to her and marrying her, even though he knew that she only wanted to marry a man who had kept the law of chastity. She felt raped. Deceived into marriage with a person that she did not want to be married to. And even though she felt this way, she was willing to forgive, and work things out.

When they went into the Bishops office, she told the Bishop that she had been deceived into marrying Lorne but that she had forgiven him and wanted to help Lorne start the repentance process. Apparently, Lorne had told the Bishop of his philandering with a "this happened to me" twist. The Bishop began to laugh and told Mary-Beth that she would be hard pressed to find a virgin man in the church. Then Lorne joined in and laughed right along with the Bishop.

In my own experience, as I stood outside the door waiting, this laugh was not just a short burst, but a long full laugh that went on for a few minutes. Then continued after the door opened and Mary-Beth came out.

As we sat on the curb, she asked me to drive her to the Stake President (the next in authority above the Bishop in her "monogamous" church). So we all packed in the van again and drove the hour or so to see the Stake President. He wasn't available, but we were able to get an appointment with his first counselor.

The first counselor had always treated Mary-Beth with respect, especially when it came to interviews. She requested him that I be allowed to come into the meeting. She told him how her husband had been unfaithful and how she felt that now she was being adulterous be continuing their marriage. I was shocked. My sister was a firm believer in loyalty between spouses, but now she had been betrayed and the marriage covenant was broken, she wanted out. Unfortunately, the first counselor didn't see it that way. He just smiled and redirected the focus. He asked her if she loved him. And Mary-Beth, who loves everyone, answered yes. But she did not believe that she should have to stay married to an unfaithful man. But the first counselor just said that if you love him, then just ignore it and stay with him. She went to protest, but he reminded her that if she could not forgive, that she would lose her salvation. Then he asked her to leave. That was it.

Mary-Beth had forgiven Lorne, but she had been betrayed and no longer wanted to live with an adulterous man. But she also was very controlled by her church leaders. Those who are outside this "monogamous" cult will never truly understand the depth of psychological warfare used on it's members. When a church leader, whom the members revere as a mouthpiece of God, speaks, then the members will follow. They believe that to reject the counsel of God's spokesperson, is to reject God. In other words, if Mary-Beth were to deviate, even a minuscule, from the counsel of her church leaders, she would in effect be giving up her eternal salvation. She would be giving up her entire purpose in being. Then there is no reason to live.

On the drive home, I offered everything I had to my dear sister, but she declined. If God didn't love her, and if God wanted her to live in captivity and abuse, then she would submit.

After that, I rarely heard from Mary-Beth again. Whenever I was able to contact her, she just smiled shallowly and responded in socially acceptable pleasantries. Her eyes were sunk deep, and always red and swollen. She even stopped eating and lost a great deal of weight. She went into depression and had often contemplated suicide, to the extent of actually having everything ready to kill herself.

Then she found out that she was pregnant.

Serial "Monogamy" - Unending Cycle of Abuse

2010-12-06T07:44:00.000-08:00

Serial "Monogamy" creates a never-ending circle of abuse.

Many studies have been done to trace the profiles of sex abuse perpetrators. I have made note of a few of them below.

* At the national level, between 15% and 33% of all sex offences in Canada are committed by persons under 21 years of age.

* Prison statistics demonstrate that one in seven of those imprisoned for sexual offences against children was under the age of 21.
Source: Adolescent Sex Offenders. (1997) National Clearinghouse on Family Violence. Cat. H72-22/3-1997E. ISBN 0-662-18255-3. (pg. 2)

* Some offenders have abused more than 70 children before any of the victims disclose their abuse. In cases in which one offender has abused a larger number of victims, the abused children are more likely to be male.
Source: Child Youth Mental Services, British Columbia Ministry of Health, Multiple Victim Child Sexual Abuse: The impact on Communities and Implications for the Intervention Planning, Ottawa: Health Canada, Supply and Services Canada, 1994 (pg. 6)

* More than 40% of convicted child molesters were sexually abused as children. They tended to choose victims close to the age at which they were first victimized.
Source: D.M. Greenberg, J.M. Bradford and S. Curry, “A comparison of sexual victimization in the childhoods of pedophiles and hebephiles,” Journal of Forensic Sciences 38(2) 1993, (pg. 434)

The statistics of child abuse in "monogamous" societies are so overwhelming, that it would be impossible to cover all aspects in this blog. Though, if we band together, we can make a difference in the lives of these children.

Together, we can stop the abuse.

Join in the legal battle to change the laws away from the forced "monogamy" that now rules our great country.

"Monogamous" relationships are inherently evil, and are inseparably connected to an unending cycle of child abuse.

"Monogamy" sexualizes children.

"Monogamy" robs children of their constitutional right to freedom and equality.

A Few Abuse Statistics of the "Monogamous" Culture

2010-12-06T07:23:00.000-08:00

In 1999, the McCreary Adolescent Health Survey II* found that:

* 35% of girls and 16% of boys between grades 7 - 12 had been sexually and/or physically abused
* Among girls surveyed, 17-year-olds experienced the highest rate of sexual abuse at 20%

University of Victoria's Sexual Assault Centre*** posts the following childhood sexual abuse statistics:

* 1 in 3 females and 1 in 6 males in Canada experience some form of sexual abuse before the age of 18.
* 80% of all child abusers are the father, foster father, stepfather or another relative or close family friend of the victim.
* Incestuous relationships last 7 years on average
* 75% of mothers are not aware of the incest in their family
* 60-80% of offenders in a study of imprisoned rapists had been molested as children
* 80% of prostitutes and juvenile delinquents, in another study, were sexually abused as children.

In their 2001 report on Family Violence in Canada**, The Canadian Centre for Justice Statistics found that family members, including relatives, constituted the vast majority (93%) of alleged perpetrators.

Another statistical study conducted in 2001 by the Canadian Centre for Justice Statistics**** found that:

* among family assaults parents were the perpetrators in 56% of physical assaults against youths and 43% of sexual assaults against youth victims 12 to 17 years of age;
* siblings were responsible for approximately 25% of physical and 26% of sexual assaults in the family that were perpetrated against youth
* extended family members committed 8% of physical, and 28% of sexual assaults against youth

http://www.safekidsbc.ca/statistics.htm

Families have been forced to confront the fact that people they know, love and trust have committed incestual acts.

Professionals are just beginning to understand the ramifications this childhood sexual abuse has on the victims.

As a society, we all pay dearly for the victimization of our children and youth; and I'm not just referring to the physical and mental health consequences of these young people. Sexual abuse is a significant component of the history behind:

» sex offenders
» substance abusers
» prisoners
» prostitutes
» runaways

http://www.child-abuse-effects.com/sexual-abuse-statistics.html

Consequences – Individual

* Child victims of sexual abuse have been found to display a wide range of symptomology, such as: low self-esteem, guilt, self blame, social withdrawal, marital and family problems, depression, somatic complaints, difficulties with sexuality, eroticized behaviour and irrational fears.
Source: C. Cahill, S. Llewelyn & C. Pearson (1991). Longterm Effects of Sexual Abuse Which Occurred in Childhood: Review. British Journal of Clinical Psychology, 30: 117-130
* There has been retrospective correlation of psychiatric disorders in adulthood with unwanted childhood sexual experiences.
Source: R.L. Palmer, D.A. Chaloner &R. Oppenheimer (1992). Childhood Sexual Experiences with Adults Reported by Female Psychiatric Outpatients. British Journal of Psychiatry, 160: 261-5.
* The long-term consequences of childhood sexual experiences with adults have been demonstrated to include, anxiety, deliberate self-harm, depression, difficulties in interpersonal relationships, eating disorders, poor self-esteem, prostitution, and sexual dysfunction.
Source: R.L. Palmer, D.A. Chaloner &R. Oppenheimer (1992). Childhood Sexual Experiences with Adults Reported by Female Psychiatric Outpatients. British Journal of Psychiatry, 160: 261-5.
* Women who reported sexual abuse histories were more likely to report suicidal ideation at the time of hospitalization and a history of multiple suicide attempts.
Source: Preliminary Report on Childhood Sexual Abuse, Suicidal Ideation, and Suicide Attempts Among Middle-Aged and Older Depressed. Nancy Talbot, Paul Duberstein, Christopher Cox, Diane Denning, Yeates Conwell. Accepted April 8, 2003. From the University of Rochester School of Medicine and Dentistry, Rochester, NY and the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development.

http://www.littlewarriors.ca/about_sexual_abuse/statistics.html

Smell This

2010-12-03T16:53:00.000-08:00

The first year of marriage was riddled with abuse. One of the situations that seems to stand out to me happened in the first half year of marriage. It was a time when Mary-Beth seemed to have overcome her disappointment in her husband. On one day in particular, she had been praying a great deal, and felt the spirit of love, and was determined to forgive and love her husband unconditionally. She went into the house, remembering all the love she had for her husband now and during her courtship. As she entered the house, Lorne was coming down the stairs and smiling. Mary-Beth smiled back and began to ascend the stairs opening her arms to hug her husband. Just then, he stopped and held up his hand right in front of her face, and said smell this. His hand was dripping with sperm. He laughed as he kept teasing her and shoving his fluids into her face, “I’ll masturbate whenever I want, and there’s nothing you can do about it.” Her heart sunk.

As you can imagine, Mary-Beth was struggling again, desparate to save her marriage when Lorne dropped another bomb. He told her that he had indeed lied to her, when he said that he had saved himself for her. That he lied just so he could find a wife and settle down. He continued his laughter and told her that the reason he fell asleep when she had offered oral sex, was because he had already had oral sex with another girl, and compared to her, Mary-Beth was worthless at it.

Well, this was too much for Mary-Beth to handle. She began to seek the counsel of her ecclesiastical leaders.

Consummating The Marriage

2010-12-03T14:04:00.000-08:00

From Mary-Beth’s diary the next ten days of married life carried a similar tone. Each time that her and her husband started to become too intimate, he would reject her and satisfy his own needs himself.

On the eighth day of their marriage, Mary-Beth writes that she was desperate to try anything that she could think of to make him love her, so she decided to attempt to use her mouth on him. He had mentioned this behaviour before, but she could not bring herself to do it previously. At first he seemed quite interested, but then as she was under the covers he went flaccid, fell asleep and began snoring. This certainly did not help her self-worth. She couldn’t help but wonder how he could fall asleep? Even if she did not know what she was doing, she couldn’t figure out why he would fall asleep if she was the only person that he had ever been with. She started to seriously doubt that he was a pure as he claimed to be. She was so hurt that she got out of bed, dressed and walked out the door. Previously, she had always been afraid to leave, because Lorne often brainwashed her into believing his psychotic “monogamous” religious beliefs that she would be going to hell.

She had no idea where she would go. She was in strange city and didn’t know anyone. When she was a couple of blocks away, Lorne caught up with her and asked what was wrong. He seemed so genuine, that Mary-Beth was caught off guard. He had run out after her in his bare feet, and so she thought that he truly cared. (Personally, I think that he was just afraid of losing a slave.) Perhaps because she had no money and no where to go, and was terrified that she was going to go to hell, she talked herself into believing that her husband cared and she returned with him.

On day ten, Mary-Beth was still concerned with not having consummated their marriage, and obviously had an incorrect belief that if they consummated their marriage then their marriage would get better. So she offered to spend all her money (she had a few hundred dollars set aside) on an expensive suite at a five star hotel. This seemed to work, and Lorne quickly agreed. Once there though, Lorne made a demand that if she wanted to have intercourse with him that she would have to perform a particular position. She submitted and did as he asked. It was a painful experience, but at the same time she was so excited that she began to have an orgasm. When the orgasm began, Lorne began to withdraw. She begged him not to, but he forcefully pushed her away, leaving her body contracting, but not with pleasure. (From this point on in her diary, there is a significant change in her writing. Obviously the result of serious neurosis.)

As time went on over the next few months, Lorne seemed to just stop all offers of intimacy and would only allow Mary-Beth intimacy once or twice a month. At first he just liked to watch her, then he would take care of himself. He eventually got to the point where he told her to take care of her own needs as well, though it seems to have progressed to that point over the course of the first year of marriage. She was able to have intercourse though if she was willing to pay him for it, usually by buying him expensive gifts.

The Wedding Night

2010-12-03T12:39:00.000-08:00

In telling me her story, Mary-Beth has allowed me to read a few pages from her diary. I have tried to be as accurate as possible, without being too vulgar or sexually revealing, while still trying to tell her story accurately. I also ask her to approve of the posts before I post them.

Imagine you are a young girl daydreaming about your first crush. Of course he would be the cutest boy in school, and everyone would find him charming. The other girls date any boy they can, but you are patiently waiting for the right boy. Then one day it happens. You meet the boy of your dreams. He’s tall, good looking, a snappy dresser, and very charming. And best of all, he seems to be just as smitten with you as you are with him.

You start courting and find out that you have a great deal in common. He likes all the same things that you do. He loves to travel, wants to see the world. He loves god and volunteers often in church. He loves his mother and is kind and courteous to her. He is kind to children and would like to have his own some day. And perhaps most intriguing of all, he has never had a serious girlfriend, but has been waiting patiently for you too.

Then the day of your wedding arrives, and it’s beautiful. You stand beside your handsome fiancée, as the minister pronounces you ‘man and wife’. Then off to the reception where everyone toasts to your happiness, after which you arrive at the Inn for the first night of your honeymoon. It has been a very long day, and of course you are very tired, but you cannot sleep because you are extremely nervous about your first night together. With shyness you undress and get into bed. Your new husband comes out of the restroom already undressed, struts around the room without a bit of embarrassment. He walks over to you and, without hesitation, begins to touch and fondle you. He is too rough, but you chalk it up to first time jitters and inexperience. He lays back and invites you to move closer, so you do. He professes his love for you and says that he would like to go inside you. Then he sort of just stops and seems to not know what to do. Shyly you tilt you hips and try to help him out, but because of your inexperience you make a mistake and cannot get the angle right. Then all of a sudden his eyes open wide. He shoves you away and yells, “what are you doing?”

You stand off the bed, with tears flowing down your face. Your mouth opens to speak, but you cannot find the words. His face is distorted and he continues to yell, getting louder. You take a couple of steps back into the corner of the room, listening to him scream at you. “What are you doing? Why are you crying? I thought you loved me enough not to have sex? Why don’t you just tell me what you want? ...”

You just stand there and cry. Thoughts enter your mind to leave, just grab your clothes and run away. You don’t know what has happened. Your beloved husband, who has always been so kind is now laying naked before you, yelling at you on your first night together, your first night with anyone. But if you run, what will you say to your family? They would never understand. And the people at church, how could you face them? After all, you have been informed many times by the leaders of your “monogamous” church that if you leave your husband, you will be going to hell. At a loss, you just stand there with tears streaming down your cheeks, begging the Lord in your heart for help.

“If you want to have sex that bad, then come back,” he says, “You can be like other sluts and grind against me, or on my leg or something.” What do you do? If you leave, you will be ostracized by your “monogamous” family, by members of your “monogamous” congregation. What if he is just really nervous and doesn’t know how to deal with his embarrassment? After all, you have become very close, and this is certainly out of the ordinary. Maybe it is just too much for him to handle, and you just need to have compassion and give him a chance.

With these thoughts, you cautiously make your way back to the bed, and cuddle up to your new husband. He begins caressing you, gently this time. Then kissing you, he draws you on top of him, where he encourages you to move your pelvis. Not knowing what else to do, you oblige. When you are done, you touch your husband and try to encourage him, but he gets annoyed with you and takes care of himself. You wonder how this can be. How can he change so instantly? He always said that he loved you, always said that he was waiting for you his entire life. Now he treats you like this. You spoon in beside him, and silently cry yourself to sleep.

Those Rotten "Monogamous" Disease Spreaders

2010-12-01T12:44:00.000-08:00

Since today is World AIDS Day, I thought I would jump ahead a bit in telling my sister's story.

As I will explain in future posts, Lorne, her husband has been quite promiscuous, and doesn't really care who he is with. As a result of his illicit behaviour he has brought home a disease, with which he has infected Mary-Beth. It is not HIV, but it is so disturbing that it could have been. Of course to knowingly, or indifferently infect anyone with any kind of virus is completely immoral and criminal.

I would encourage anyone who hasn't already, to check out the World AIDS Day Website, especially the Common Myths page.

One of the main reasons for the transmission of HIV or any virus for that matter is because the truth is often misunderstood, hidden behind layers of myth and false propaganda. It is a sad thing that some people are still so ignorant as to not know how HIV is transmitted. These virus' and diseases are not spread because of a person's choice of conjugal arrangement. They are spread specifically from an infected source to a non-infected person.

We really need to get the word out, so please head over to the World AIDS Day site and show your support.

I Feel Like Throwing Up!

2010-11-30T08:37:00.000-08:00

What can I say? Where do I begin?

The things that I have been listening to (from my sister) are unbelievable. I have had such extremes of emotions, just listening to her story that I cannot believe what it would have been like to have personally lived through such abuse.

My immediate reaction was one of anger. I love my sister and I would do anything for her, and recently I wanted to have her husband arrested and thrown in jail. Then I wanted all the leaders of that "monogamous" church charged for Failure To Protect. But of course this is all for the courts to decide.

I am struggling with how to begin Mary-Beth's story. I mean, how can anyone eloquently word a story of abuse and betrayal? So I will just start blurting it out and going from there.

Mary-Beth was always a good girl. She wasn't perfect, and did do things wrong, but first and foremost her desire was to her family. For as long as I can remember, Mary-Beth had wanted to get married. We both endured similar child abuse, which brought us close and we often discussed what we would do when we were the parents and had our own children. Mary-Beth wanted to find a man who was not violent or controlling, while I wanted to find a woman who was not sexually abusive and vindictive. Two very tall orders.

Now to hear of the things that she has had to live through, I am sick to my stomach. I feel like throwing up.

Insane "Moral" Nazis

2010-11-29T13:54:00.000-08:00

Have Canadians learned nothing from the dark, demonic era of Nazi Germany????

How can I not quote Niemoller?

"When they came for the gypsies, I said nothing, because I wasn't a gypsy. When they came for the homosexuals, I said nothing, because I wasn't a homosexual. When they came for the Jews, I said nothing, because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the Catholics, and I said nothing, because I wasn't a Catholic. [Now they have come for the Polygynists, and I say nothing, because I'm not a Polygynist.].....then they came for me, and there was no one left to defend me."

How long do you think that your freedoms will be maintained if there is no one left to stand with you?

Do you really believe that you will be free after you conspire to take freedom and equality away from another?

Whose voices will ring with yours in the cause of Freedom?

If Canada's (Im)moral Nazis are allowed to win on the Polygamy Front, they will turn their attention to other fronts.

Always Remember:

When they tried to halt the freedom of women's rights, I (a man) stood for your rights.

When they persecuted you for your sexual preference, I (a heterosexual) was persecuted with you.

When they denied you equality because of your religion, I (a fundamentalist) let my voice be heard, and was outcast along with you.

When they denied you equality because of the colour of your skin, I (a Caucasian) came to your defence and became an outcast of my own people.

As you struggle for the return of your traditional land, I (a mixed breed) who receives nothing, struggle with you.

I have lent my professional talents to you free of charge. I have counseled you, when you were in despair. I have gone hungry so you could eat. I have given to your poor. I have emptied my pockets for you, and yours, and have asked for nothing in return. I have joined in the search when your children/loved one were lost. I have cried when you cried. I have celebrated for you when you won your cause.

Now they are conspiring to make me a criminal. To steal my children under the fog of legality. To imprison my wives' husband, and break their hearts. In effect making legal widows of my wives, and orphans of my children. They will threaten my wives, that if they do not leave me, they will rip their children from their mother's loving arms. Under the guise of Law, will they steal my possessions. They will bind me hand and foot, and all the help that I have given you, and all that I have left to give, will have been for naught.

I (a Polygynist) stood for your rights. Who will stand for mine?

.

Full Marriage Equality

2010-11-29T13:35:00.000-08:00

In order for any person or group to have long lasting equality, we must all have full equality.

"Blame Abusers, Not the Freedom to Marry"

"From the news articles I have read so far, it appears as though the anti-equality bigots in Canada are arguing that allowing consenting adults to marry more than one person magically causes child abuse and of various sorts and the abuse of women. ..."

Take the time to read through the Full Marriage Equality site.

Dear Sis

2010-11-28T13:20:00.000-08:00

My dear sister (Mary Elizabeth) is going through some serious marital difficulties. When we were young, there were times when we were inseparable. We were always close, and often shared our hopes and dreams. You see, Mary-Beth is my twin. We always talked of everything that was happening. When I was a missionary, Mary-Beth joined the "monogamous" church, which I had joined when I was 16. Then she found a fella that seemed like a great guy. She talked to me about him always. We discussed everything. We have always been like sounding boards, bouncing ideas off of each other. Well, the time soon came when she wanted to marry this man.

When Mary-Beth and her fella became very serious, they started talking about the future. Mary-Beth certainly liked the boy, but would always be asking me what I thought. To me, he seemed okay. He had a job, was going to college, and seemed to follow all the standards of his church. Before she would accept his marriage proposal, she had asked him some very searching questions, like if he was, or had ever been violent, if he was chaste, was he not only willing to, but was his only desire to create a family and raise his children to be righteous? And of course, when all his answers were completely positive, Mary-Beth was thrilled to accept his marriage proposal.

After they were married they moved to his family's farm. This was an enormous adjustment for me, because Mary-Beth and I rarely talked after that. I mean, we did talk, but it was not like before. Of course this is only natural. Now she had a husband and she was the epitome of "being one" with her husband.

The problem was, that year after year, we talked less and less, until she only spoke to me maybe once a year. Then our conversations were limited to just pleasantries. However, we have recently began talking again. Mary-Beth has confided in me and told me what happened after she married her husband Lorne.

I have told her of my blog here and she is aware of my stance on her church. For years she did not approve of my decisions, but now she is seeing them in an entirely different light. She has also finally given me consent to post her story here on my blog. And so I will.

My Side, Your Side, And The Truth

2010-11-26T15:07:00.000-08:00

I know that this article has been up for some time, but I would like to post a link to it here.

http://www.thecurseof1920.com/blog/?p=91

My uncle was fond of saying "There are three sides of every story. My side, your side, and the truth."

Well I have always found this proverb to be self evident. Yet, I am as guilty of anyone in seeing my own side first. In fact, there have been times when I have purposely focused on my side first, just because I was hurt, and wanted to be understood. Then I acknowledge the other persons point of view and try to work out our differences. Now I know that we are all aware of people who just cannot let go, and even when they are long since proven incorrect, they adamantly hold to their original lies.

The truth is, unless we see into every aspect of everyone's lives, we will never completely know the truth. Yet, this should not deter us from striving to work out our differences and put a genuine effort into living in peace and harmony, with freedom and equality for all.

Tolerance and Love

2010-11-26T05:52:00.000-08:00

No matter what forum of discussion, sooner or later the issue of "morality" surfaces, usually with a negative connotation. When I was a child, I was constantly bombarded by the adults telling me of the immorality of the alternate lifestyles. Today, it seems that the tables have been turned, and the alternate lifestyles have taken control and espouse the immorality of chastity.

Now, granted, some people might say that I have a pretty messed up family. I mean, I am polygynous, one of my brothers, and his wife, is a swinger, another brother seems to love cougar hunting, one of my cousins is so pretty and in such demand that he never does anything for himself, women just flock to him. They feed him, clothe him, house him, and constantly fight for his attention and visits. He is the ultimate, open, tramp. And the list goes on and on. I worked with, and was friends with a woman who was polyandrous. I have friends who are homosexual and bisexual. I have friends who are monogamous, and even some (very, very few) who are "monogamists". I even have friends who are celibate. So a nice variety of people in my peer group. Yet there is one thing in common between all of us; we respect each other's freedom of choice. I respect their freedom to interact the way they choose, and they respect my choice to be for my partner only.

Today, discrimination and harassment is not only directed against those who are considered by society as living an alternate lifestyle, but I have seen a great deal of discrimination and targeted harassment against those who follow a chaste lifestyle, and are truly monogamous (only ever being with one partner in their entire life). Now granted there are several "holier than thou" people out there bringing a lot of this on themselves, but treating people with respect and equality includes giving them the right to choose for themselves. And if they want to be lifelong monogamous, while supporting others' choices, then I will allow them their choice and support them in their decision. I will stand with them to promote fairness and equality among all people. What will you do?

Unity will bring freedom and equality for all.

If divided, as history has proven, there will be endless discrimination and oppression and suffering.

.

Polygamy's on trial? How about monogamy?

2010-11-25T07:00:00.000-08:00

Pete McMartin wrote an interesting article for the Vancouver Sun.

"Punish crimes where you find them, not by sexual or matrimonial preference.

Because if we must, and we believe that by outlawing polygamy we will, at a stroke, do away with abandonment, confinement and physical and sexual abuse in those communities, shouldn't we, if only to extend that logic, be looking at criminalizing monogamy, in which the vast majority of the above crimes are committed?"

Read more: http://www.vancouversun.com/life/Polygamy+trial+about+monogamy/3870285/story.html#ixzz16J65WJoE

Be sure to write to Pete and tell him how much you liked his article.

"Monogamy" = Pedophilia, Child Rape, and Child Trafficking

2010-11-24T15:19:00.000-08:00

The trial began only a few days ago, and already I am thoroughly disgusted.

This is 2010, I would have thought that in this day and age there would be a few less bias' and prejudices, but alas, no. What kind of ridiculous opening arguments are these lawyers spewing?

*"Firstly, the need to recruit more women into the marriage market drives down into adolescence the age at which girls are targeted for marriage, said Jones.

Secondly, it prevents some men from acquiring wives, resulting in a gender imbalance, a harm that leads to increased crime and other social problems."

To counter these arguments, one only needs to look out of the window. The "serial monogamy" that is legally upheld is by nature deceitful, oppressive and abusive.

Firstly, the freedom to move, unrestrained, from one woman to the next without responsibility, allows the demonic desires of wicked men to seek to satisfy their lustful desires with adolescent girls, who are often specifically targeted for sex crimes.

Secondly, "monogamy" prevents most people from acquiring healthy, STD free partners, resulting in children born in medical, life threatening crisis, which leads to increased divorce, increased crime and other social problems.

**The Province also reported that Deborah Strachan said, “Women in polygamous marriages suffer increased psychological, physical, sexual and reproductive health harms. They also face material harms including economic and educational deprivation.”

After experiencing both polygamous and "monogamous" cultures, I can state from first hand experience that it is the women in "monogamy" who suffer unlimited psychological, physical, sexual harm. Those women, along with their children, are at constant risk of sexually transmitted disease and sexual exploitation. The material harms including, but not limited to, economic and educational deprivation have been well documented, not only in government and independent studies, but also in the judicial process.

There is no doubt that "monogamy" is only about the exploitation of women and children.

These, supposedly educated, lawyers are arguing points that are clearly twisted. All they did was take facts from the "monogamous" culture at large, and fill in the word 'polygamy' where they hoped it would do them the most good. These lawyers are inferring the judge is a fool, that the judge is not intelligent enough to see their guile.

This is straight out of the Witch Hunts of the Dark Ages.

*Read more: http://www.theprovince.com/life/Polygamy+creates+brides+outcasts/3869927/story.html#ixzz16FJp5eSo

**Read more: http://www.theprovince.com/news/Federal+government+joins+uphold+polygamy/3874491/story.html#ixzz16FOecRUp

Go Play Outside

2010-11-24T08:40:00.000-08:00

I usually speak about the abuses that I lived through as a child, but today I was thinking about Toni and life early on in our marriage. There was one time in particular that I began to think about. Probably because Toni's nieces and nephew are getting into trouble now that they are coming of age. I remember one time when those children were small, it is a fond memory, though laced with tragedy.

Toni's sister asked her if we would baby sit her three children while her and her husband went to a convention for the weekend. We discussed it and eventually agreed to watch the children.

The problem is that Toni's sister is a member of a "monogamous" cult. It is a lifestyle that is so conducive to brain washing and pedophilia that, in order to keep the women "happy" and blind to their abusive situation, it has one of the most extensive women's organizations (lead by men) of any religious organization in the world, and I try to stay as far away from it as possible. The common argument is that women lead the organization, but those women are chosen by the men. It is just a snowscreen to lull the gullible masses into a false sense of security. This trick may be commonly used in the political arena, but it obviously has applications in all areas of leadership.

But if everyone just turns a blind eye, then how will anything change? One of the main strategies of that church is to use the propaganda of 'family comes first', but then to give an acceptable reason for pawning off the children on others, or just sending them out to play, etc. It is the all too common, 'speak out against it in public, but pay no attention to it in private, unless the public finds out and we can no longer deny it'. So we decided that we would give the children at least one weekend of attention. It is not much of a gift, but what else can we do?

We arrived on Friday in time to see the children fighting while the parents were finishing their packing. The husband ignored me, and the Toni's sister gave me the 'polite' greeting. Even though Toni's sister also lived through the abuse, they consider me evil for taking Toni away from her abusive family. After all, everything seemed fine until I showed up. Before me, the children in their "monogamous" family just accepted the abuse as part of life. They kept silent and protected their father and their church. Yet, I fought my way out of an abusive family, there was no way that I was going to go back to that lifestyle. So I spoke out against the abuse. I showed Toni that there was a better life, a life of respect, of consent and honesty, of personal value and complete equality. That she did not have to live with the sexual, emotional, and psychological abuses of the "monogamous" society.

When Toni started to speak out against her father and brother, her siblings quickly turned nasty. They were happy in their denial, and began to treat me with disdain. I was sad for it, but I had already been disowned by my own dad, so Toni and I agreed that we would start our own family, free from these "monogamous" abusers.

But back to the babysitting. My sister-in-law tried ineffectively to calm her fighting children, promising them treats if they were good. This did nothing and the children kept fighting. They obviously had no respect for their mother. She gave Toni a quick run-down of the to-do list and phone numbers, as she walked out the door.

I immediately turned my attention to the children. They showed all the classic signs of neglect and verbal abuse. We started a game that quickly got the children active. Their attention did not last long though, and they quickly resumed fighting. I sent the boy to his room, and made sure his sister was okay. She was physically fine, but had retreated far into her mind, to a place of safety. I went upstairs to find the boy playing with his toys. A quick talk about helping his sisters, instead of hitting them, and we were back down stairs to try again.

Throughout the course of the weekend we played several games and the children fought several times. Our nephew had a dozen time-outs over Friday evening and Saturday morning. By Saturday afternoon, he was playing nice and getting along with his sisters. The children became calm and happy. And the niece who was lost in dreamland came out to visit us. She was a remarkably bright and happy girl while she was out.

Now, this was by no means a cure-all or even a long term solution, it was just a small break in their normal living conditions. For the children to have a break from the constant yelling, fighting, neglect, and all around bad parenting made us realize that our decision to babysit was actually helpful for the children.

We didn't do anything spectacular. No secrets. Just turned off the TV and went about cleaning the house, preparing meals, and taking care of the children. The main thing that was different, was that we just included the children in our daily routine. They helped pick up toys, gather the laundry, wash dishes, etc. They loved being part of the family, being worth something. Children love to contribute and their self worth is directly connected to their being an important, contributing member of the family.

Sunday was a great day. The children woke happy and we played games, read books, and fixed meals, and cleaned up, with no fights. No fights, that is, until the door opened and Toni's sister walked in the house. Almost immediately she started in on the children. You could see the poor children revert so quickly. The boy turned and began running around yelling and hitting his sister. The sister's eyes went glossy and she retreated back into that fantasy land of escape that she had created in her mind. My heart sank.

On the drive home, I couldn't seem to get out of the depression that the situation had left me in. They were innocent children. They had a right to be treated with dignity and respect. I am so torn up about the situation that I just have to take a stand, and speak out against the evils of "monogamy". What a horrible lifestyle to raise children in. The human rights violations are so boldly perpetrated, how can anyone ignore these children?

The Greatest Lie The Devil Ever Told, Was Convincing The World That He Didn't Exist

2010-11-23T14:27:00.000-08:00

Here's one.

CTV reports that "the British Columbia government says laws against polygamy shouldn't apply to women who have multiple husbands or same-sex relationships involving more than two people.

Instead, a lawyer for the province says the law was only ever meant to outlaw cases in which a man has more than one wife.

...

Jones says the harms associated with polygamy, including child brides and the discrimination of women, are the result of men marrying multiple wives. ..."

Well, I came from a strictly "monogamous" society, and I can say without hesitation that this claim is pure guile. I have seen rampant, unabashed child abuse, sexual molestation, child pregnancy, child victims of incest, broken families, including the discrimination and the insatiable oppression of women as a direct result of men marrying "monogamously". By Jones' own reasoning, women and men across the country should rise up, decrying "Monogamy".

Only evil cunning men would ever support "Monogamy". They reach into the depths of irrationality to build their case on the "virtues" of their reprehensible behaviour. Next, the "monogamist" fathers will be claiming "prima nocta", saying that it is better for them to rape their daughters, because they will be gentle, whereas an inexperienced boy that their daughter chooses to marry of her own free will, would make mistakes. Where will it end?

"Monogamy" is all about the oppression and control of women. Evil men play on the natural loving devotion of women, deceiving them into believing that they have their best interests at heart. Yet, these men are only looking out for themselves. They love having women remain in oppression. They love having women beg them for everything. They love being able to lead women into believing that they care, only to use them and throw them away. They love the deceit. They love the game. They love the conquest. Does anyone really believe that this type of player truly cares?

In religious organizations, the doctrine of "Monogamy" has long been used to control and oppress, by taking away a woman's free choice of who she marries. She is told that God will send her to hell if she doesn't submit to forced "monogamy". She now has to settle for an unstable, wicked man, who will beat her and put her through innumerable abuses. How much oppression will be enough? When will good men and women rise up and stand for equal rights?

Legally imposed, forced "Monogamy" is the ultimate hate crime!

http://www.ctvbc.ctv.ca/servlet/an/local/CTVNews/20101123/bc_polygamy_trial_101123/20101123?hub=BritishColumbiaHome

Ranting

2010-11-23T12:58:00.000-08:00

My visit to my childhood home brought back many memories, mostly bad. I was in such a terrible state that looking back on my recent posts, I can see that my writing became quite clouded. I am not a professional writer, and I did terrible in English literature class, but I should be able to write coherent sentences.

I went back to my first post, to remind myself of why I began this blog. I have always tried to tell my own story, which by personal experience was in direct opposition to the widespread bias' in Canadian society at large. My main form is to follow a satirical approach, yet I feel that I need to clarify myself. Everything that I write on my blog has actually happened. I strive to keep my comments (even those in satirical form) to just the facts, though I express my opinion quite often. I realize that the facts are not always popular, but they are what they are, and just because some people do not like the facts, does not make them any less factual.

Funny thing, most posts on my blog that are/seem satirical were not meant to be. They were just my real life experiences. It is sad to think that my life is such a satire.

I have endured a great deal of strife in my life and my conversion to a certain system of plural marriage has brought me hope for a better life and peace from many of the abuses in the culture I left behind. I do not advocate that my choice is the right choice for everyone. I am a very firm believer in personal choice. And I believe that each person must make their own choices. From a religious perspective, I believe that God loves all of us and will lead us to where we need to be in our lives. This means that some may follow one religion, some another, some may lean toward a great philosopher or philosophy, some may advocate a blend of disciplines or beliefs, some may feel an inexplicable connection with nature. There have been times where I have forgone expressing my views in a spiritual context, because I have not wanted to offend others. The only problem with this is that I do not feel that I have been true to myself, so I am re-committing myself to the original intent of my blog.

After re-reading some of my posts from the beginning of this blog, I have decided that I will continue to use satire to express my views, and I will allow for the occasional rant (or perhaps I will rant often, I haven't fully decided yet:). Either way, I hope that there is something to be gleaned, and perhaps someone may find something of value in my ramblings.

Sexual Grooming

2010-11-23T10:00:00.000-08:00

As a counsellor to troubled youth, I have experienced many horrifying sessions with youth from the “monogamist” culture. Many of those sessions are as a direct result of sexual grooming.

Sexual Grooming refers to preparing the child to accept sexual abuse in a non-threatening way. The “groomed” child will then, not only accept sexual contact willingly, but often times the grooming is so deeply ingrained that the child will seek after it themselves.

Have you ever seen it? It can begin so innocently.

The little child comes home from kindergarden. Someone asks, Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend yet?

What kind of insane question is that to ask a five year old child?

I’ve heard the excuses, It’s normal. Everyone does it. It is only pretend. They’re just children, nothing can happen. Oh, stop being such a prude. Etc.

How about when the neighbour boy comes over for a visit, and the mother asks her daughter if she likes him and wants him to be her boyfriend?

The child seeking for the “right” answer to please the mother, answers “yes.”

“Well then, go dress up.”

The child hurries off, and quickly returns dressed in her mother’s hat, coat and shoes. She smiles a big smile, and the mother blushes and quickly takes the child back to her room to dress her appropriately.

Soon they return with the child dressed in a mini skirt, tube top and lipstick. Everyone ooos and ahhhs, and the mother quickly fetches the camera. She sits her 5 year old daughter next to the neighbour boy and puts his arm around her. Everyone giggles and smiles and the picture is taken.

The entire event may have been a little daunting for the young children, but it made a deep impression. The children have just experienced their first lesson in sexual grooming. More lessons follow, often to the first kiss. The children love the attention and reward of acting out the boyfriend/girlfriend roles that their parents ease them into.

More techniques are employed, usually first in the non-touching area, such as having the children watch cartoons that are sexually oriented, with the excuse that they are only cartoons. Then letting the young children watch more ‘adult’ soap operas and movies, then to x-rated movies, etc, often with the grooming sessions in a happy environment.

These grooming sessions are expertly interspersed with bouts of denial of physical affection, to create the hunger drive, after which grooming to touching offenses is begun. Most times, but not always, negative emotional manipulation is brought to bear to achieve compliance. Barriers are quickly broken down at an extremely young age and the children now begin to seek after these “relationships”. It doesn’t take long and the grooming is complete.

The “groomed” child will then, not only accept sexual contact willingly, but often times the grooming is so deeply ingrained that the child will seek after it themselves. The brain-washing is so complete that the sexual contact will become all the child wants, it will become the child’s very reason for living. As a counselor, I have seen it many times. I have seen it to the extreme where upon first meeting the patient, she looks longingly into your eyes, a never ending stream of compliments spews from her mouth, and she cannot help but to physically reach out and touch a sleeve or arm of any man that walks by, often the patient never even realizes that they are doing it.

There are many “grooming” techniques, which are used in all walks of life, and they are incredibly effective. They are not new, but have been around for ages, under various titles. Psychologists have been using various grooming techniques to help people for as long as their profession has been around.

Child brides, child trafficking, prostitution, child and teenage pregnancies, sexual discrimination, inequality, and oppressed women have always been, and will forever be inextricably entwined with the “monogamist” mindset and culture.

In The Waiting Room

2010-11-23T06:38:00.000-08:00

Our new baby needed his vaccinations and the doctor wanted some blood work done as well. Since we arrived early, we took note of other patients in the waiting room. The room was full. It seems to me that a doctor would be a profession that will never run out of business, and I certainly wouldn’t mind if one of my children wanted to enter the medical field.

Anyway, looking around at the other patients, it was instantly understandable where the doctors were making their money. There were a few single people in the waiting room, but most (perhaps at least 90%) were very young girls with their mothers. Obviously the doctor was trying to keep in check the STD fallout from the local “monogamous” night life.

No doubt there are other more dangerous social effects of this horrific lifestyle. Young girls, sometimes as young as 11 or 12, are pushing baby strollers or carrying babies in their arms. Ashamed parents, lying about the parentage, moving to a different city, divorces and broken homes, children being kicked out and disowned, then the young child and her new baby having to live off welfare, are all a direct result of this perverted “monogamous” culture. How can society and the legal system turn a blind eye to this heinous cult?

Perhaps it is because they are perverted themselves, and are already sexually active with young girls, or perhaps hope to be. In any case, the law refuses to punish these crimes, most likely because then they would have to admit that they also deserve to be punished. The worst part is that these young girls grow up know nothing else. They are completely oblivious that there are better lives available to them, lives where they can live free from oppression and sexual abuse. What a terrible environment to live in, the constant oppression and sexual discrimination of women in this “monogamous” society is overwhelming.

A Visit Home

2010-11-23T04:05:00.000-08:00

As a disowned son, I do not get the opportunity to visit home very often. In fact I, and my children, are treated quite badly at times. This is not new and I should really learn to just stay away, but I am way too soft-hearted and I miss my family, even though they have decided that they do not want me around.

At first glance the initial greetings in the driveway seem civil, but that is as far as it goes. Once in the house the ridicule and insults start to sneak in ever so subtly.

With the first greetings over and plans solidified for the family gathering, I get in the car for a drive around my childhood stomping ground. I visit places like my elementary school, the church I attended, etc. The once tiny community has now grown so big. New houses, new subdivisions, and new businesses, all make my quaint little village seem so different. Like me, it has grown and developed and taken on a life of it's own.

Yet there is a sinister down side. As evening approaches, the number of people on the street increase. Elderly adults that were walking store to store, greeting each other with smiles, quickly fade like a fog before the morning sun. They are replaced by a much younger crowd. Teenagers appear with the encroaching night, like vampires in an old black and white B-rated movie. Boys and girls huddled together in little groups. The boys seem to be around 15-17, and the girls range younger maybe 12-15.

Some of the older boys have trucks that cruise the streets. Some with girls sitting so close they seem to be sharing the steering wheel. Others with no girl in them pull up to the groups of 12-15 year old girls, honk the horn, squeal the tires, and holler sexual offers back and forth. Most all of the young teenage girls are for sale, but because they are in such demand they are choosy. They all try to get the wealthiest boy, or the most talented or popular one. Then when that one is taken, they settle for a lesser one, perhaps one with an old truck. It's all about status in their "monogamous" cult. The girls look for the boys who will raise their status in the eyes of the other girls, and the boys look for the girls who they can afford. It is really no different than watching a bunch of peacocks on the nature channel.

As the evening grows into night, and some of the young girls could not sell themselves for the status of a boyfriend with a truck, then the younger teenage boys who are on foot have a chance to purchase their affections. Sometimes trucks stop and the young girl gets out to rejoin her friends and start the process all over again. It is a sad state of affairs to see such rampant immorality hidden in the night of a "monogamous" community.

I had forgotten this dark side. On the outside, my childhood community may have new streets and buildings, but at the core it is still the same.

My mind reeled back to my own childhood in this once small farming community. Things were the same then, only on a much smaller scale. I remember the 12 and 13 year old girls who were already sexually active, some with babies of their own. I remember those who confided in me that they were being sexually abused by members of their family. Tears filled my eyes as I remembered my childhood in this "monogamous" community. I can't believe why I would ever have the urge to return to the family of my past, even for a visit. If anything, I should be running to the other side of the earth, let alone ever allowing my children to be exposed to my "monogamous" roots.

Unlawful Arrest

2010-11-17T07:37:00.000-08:00

Today I came across this article about a young Ottawa woman who was unjustly arrested, physically harmed, sexually touched, and strip searched by police. Thankfully the judge put an end to the injustice, but the woman still has to live with the indignities imposed upon her. Her faith in the police will be marred. Who can she turn to for help? (http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/17112010/71/central-strip-search-police-cell.html)

I remember this sort of thing happening to me when I was a teenager. And it shaped my life. I began to look for a way to improve the system. First I wanted to have a ranch which would be a place of safety for other abused youth from "monogamy". But being a youth, I could not figure out how to raise the enormous amount of money that it takes to run such a ranch. Instead I volunteered and tried to help out programs like Big Brothers, and Boy Scouts, and would be a big brother myself to help an abused boy, who had the unfortunate experience to be raised in "monogamy".

My next idea was to become a police officer so that I could be one of the few policemen that would actually act according to the law, but after meeting several police constables I realized that I was fighting a loosing battle. They followed a strict "us vs them" mentality, which was something that I was strictly opposed to.

As life went on, I became interested in counseling, and attempted to pursue a career in that field. Being very zealous, I got a job in the trenches, working in the Young Offender system. My task was to counsel youth and work on rehabilitation. It was a very difficult, and heart wrenching position. I have worked with youth from many different backgrounds and who have committed some of the most serious of crimes. The problem was that I, and the other counselors were severely limited in our options. It was a constant battle to fight against the system. I saw police officers and correction officers act in a manner that was completely disgraceful, destroying any confidence that we could instill in the youth about the legal system. Often times, the behaviour of the officers would undo any progress the youth made. It was a daunting task.

After several years, I decided to retire from the correctional system and enter the private sector. I have professionally counseled so many children abused by the "monogamists" that, even though I logically know that there are many kind "monogamists", I cannot condone their culture or lifestyle. The worst part is that it is not the children's fault that they were born into a "monogamist" cult.

Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms

2010-11-06T17:16:00.000-07:00

Rights and freedoms in Canada

1. The Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms guarantees the rights and freedoms set out in it subject only to such reasonable limits prescribed by law as can be demonstrably justified in a free and democratic society.

Fundamental freedoms

2. Everyone has the following fundamental freedoms:
(a) freedom of conscience and religion;
(b) freedom of thought, belief, opinion and expression, including freedom of the press and other media of communication;
(c) freedom of peaceful assembly; and
(d) freedom of association.

Equality before and under law and equal protection and benefit of law

15. (1) Every individual is equal before and under the law and has the right to the equal protection and equal benefit of the law without discrimination and, in particular, without discrimination based on race, national or ethnic origin, colour, religion, sex, age or mental or physical disability.

Here's a quote from the Vancouver Sun

"Fundamentalist Mormons have already won the right to testify anonymously and behind screens in the reference case to determine whether the constitutional guarantee of religious freedom includes the practice of polygamy."

Now, am I the only person who sees the irony????

Why would anyone, in a country with such great freedoms, need to win the right to testify anonymously and behind screens? If we were truly free, and all citizens had equal protection under the law, why would anyone need to testify in anonymity? If so the Charter really can't mean all that much, can it? There's nothing quite like a political snow screen!

To read more of the article from the Vancouver Sun
http://www.vancouversun.com/life/Polygamists+want+testify+only+their+terms/3787843/story.html#ixzz14YD43n5e

The Brutal, Honest, and Unforgiving Truth

2010-11-03T08:48:00.000-07:00

It may seem like an odd title for this topic, but to me it seems to fit rather well.

I have been surfing the net (Does anyone use that term anymore?) steadily since 1998, long before most people had internet connections (it was mostly just the rich or tech geeks that had them). Toni and I have been openly polygamous since we were married in 1992(even before), at a time when the only media attention poly relationships were getting was the odd update on a religious situation, either Mormon or Islamic. Then of course the media would focus hard on any negative they could find (and rightly so). Yet the negatives they could find were the exact same abuses that occur without bounds in "monogamous" relationships. And of course this has always been the focus of my blog.

Today, the media is switching positions and there are many articles and reports in favour of adult, consensual polygamous relationships, which is a great thing. Freedom is always a great thing. I am a firm believer in a primary gift which God gave to all, and that is the gift of freedom of choice. So, to me, freedom is the essence of all good laws and customs. The limitation of course being that those freedoms should not encroach upon another's freedoms, which has always been a tremendous source of conflict for the controlling/bully personalities. Yet there is still a silly, yet disturbing, propaganda being spread by both those who claim to be supporters of the poly lifestyle and those who claim to be living it, as well as warnings against living it by those who are in opposition. A well meaning group trying to warn others considering this lifestyle, that it is not all a bed of roses. And this is of course true. But once again, the focus is on the polygamous lifestyle, as if it were any different from the "monogamous" lifestyle is absurd. The same personality quirks exist in polygamous unions, as they do in all other areas of life.

Some of the Brutal, Honest, and Unforgiving truths that are being touted are things like jealousy, coveting, control, territory, bullying, dominance, abuse, legal spouse, legal ownership, life insurance, medical care, etc, etc. These are just some of the "brutal truths" that we are warned against in polygamous unions.

What a bunch of utter nonsense!!!!

If anyone considering this lifestyle has these problems, then they should go home and send their parents to their rooms for a time out. After all, these things should have been taught, and overcome, as children. Of course, there are always numerous excuses. Well, the Brutal, Honest, and Unforgiving Truth of the matter is that it is time to grow up.

These jealousies, and other selfish and self-serving behaviours, are addressed in all walks of life. From childhood, brothers and sisters, or friends, or whatever. In school, students are expected to get along and work out problems. As adults we enter the workforce, or marry, and still need to get along and work things out in our own circle of influence. This is no different in a polygamous union. If there is a jealousy issue, then work it out. Stop being a prissy little brat.

If you are coveting, then follow the commandments and stop. If you need something that someone else has, get your own. Chances are a little hard work will help you build a better character.

If you are a control freak, then knock it off. Try being meek for a change.

A territorial woman (and/or man) needs to get over herself. Be a family. Improve yourself, and improve your relationships. It looks completely stupid for a man to walk around marking his territory, and it looks just as stupid when a woman lifts her leg trying to mark her territory. If the woman(or man) cannot stop, then call the authorities and charge her.

The same goes for bullying and dominance issues. If a sports team was run like that, it wouldn't win any games. So get with the program and build your team, instead of ruining it. Decide before marriage, what focus your team is going to have and the method to use to accomplish it. That way everyone is on the same page.

Good communication is a must in the marriage relationship, just as it is in the business world. Can you imagine a business run the way most people run their marriages? Those businesses don't last long.

Abuse is a scourge and should be dealt with in the most strict sense. If you have a problem abusing someone (even if you have a reason) get professional help. Stop the abuse now. Abuse comes in all forms, physical, psychological, financial, spiritual, sexual, etc. Women abuse just as much, and in many cases far more than men. Abuse is not limited by genitalia. And stop saying you are abused just because 99% of the family income is not spent on your sugar addiction, or some other ridiculous nonsense. There are other people in the family, live together. And if you are so self-centered and want a different life, then get out!

A huge issue is I'm not the legal wife. I will be destitute if the husband dies, etc. Well this problem is easily resolved. Go to a lawyer. Wow, that was easy. Go to a lawyer and have contracts drawn up. Go to an insurance agent and have an insurance policy drawn up for the second wife. It is really that simple. Stop whining and get it done. If you are contemplating marrying into a family, then discuss these things. Make your choice. Some poly families give the women all the legal rights and put everything in their names. Figure out what it is that you want and go after it.

On the issues of Medical Care. Again, communication is the key. Ask. Yes, people can and do lie. This is a fact among all marriages, even "monogamous" ones. "Oh no! No person in a "monogamous" mindset would ever lie!" If this is how you think, get out of fantasy land and pay attention. If you prefer to live in fantasy land, then what are you complaining about. Ask questions, follow your instincts. Take some time to get to know people. It is actually quite easy with polygamous families. Things are so much more difficult to hide. You will be able to talk to your potential relatives, friends, children, ecclesiastical leaders, etc.

And don't forget all the warnings about jealousy surrounding sex in a plural marriage. Well, I hate to say it, but most jealous women that I meet are not virgins and certainly have had sex with men that have had other women, so what is the problem? Jealous women are not exactly known for their abstinence, and it is not unheard of for them to have sex with their best friend's boyfriend. They claim some sort of morality, by putting a qualifier on it, like "they were broken up at the time" etc. Well, if it is that easy, then just lie to yourself and put the same qualifier on it during the marriage. "Oh, my husband and his other wife are broken up this morning, so I'm going to invite him over for a little breakfast in bed." And if this seems stupid to you, I'm glad you are catching on. Imagine how good your life would be if you were using a fully functional brain. And before I get loads of comments saying that men are sexual deviants too, you are correct. So give yourself a big pat on the back for being special and having a justification for your own illicit behaviour.

What about the law? Isn't polygamy against the law? There are several places where polygamy is definitely not against the law, and in fact multiple partners are protected by law. So just move to one of those provinces. It is that simple.

Now, I'm sure that all the whiners are going to say "Oh, if it were only that easy. Joseph is just pedaling a lot of easy answers, he doesn't know what I have been through, etc". Well then you'll just have to learn the hard way. Enjoy your drama. No wonder TV is plagued by "spaz" shows.

Basically, plural marriage is a committed relationship, like any other. And just like in a "monogamous" relationship, we learn and grow together. There will be problems, and if you can't get along or don't want to learn and grow together, then don't marry in. Stop listening to all the "expert" advice. Poly families are the same as any other family. Just imagine spending your life with the wonderful group of friends that you grew up with, or went to college with. You got along with them, and it was a great experience. Well, it is the same in a good plural family too. It can be a great life, just leave your crap at the door and make friends.

Forgiveness

2010-10-10T16:19:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking a lot about forgiveness lately. Both about the need to forgive and the need to be forgiven. The scriptures say that the more you forgive, the more God will forgive you, but I worry about this because I rarely take offence at what others do to me so I do not have anything to forgive, yet I have done so much that I need to be forgiven of. I suppose that the relationship between forgiving and being forgiven is not directly proportional, meaning if I forgive one sin against me then the Lord will forgive one sin against Him, but rather it is more based on principle, if I forgive all sins against me, than the Lord will forgive all my sins, pending my repentance, of course.

This reminds me I need to forgive all, whether the offender repent or not, yet cannot expect God to forgive me unless I repent. I do not remember the exact quote but the Lord says something like ‘I will forgive whom I will forgive, but unto you it is given to forgive all man.’

Back to my original topic, I have been very blessed in my life, but I often wonder if I would have the strength to forgive someone who did something really bad to me, like hurt one of my children. As I have not been tested in this area, I am still not sure how I would react. I would like to think I could forgive, but at the same time, I hope that my tests come in other areas as I do not want my children to be hurt just to see if I can forgive.

I suppose that is enough rambling for now.

A Beautiful Letter

2010-10-05T07:39:00.000-07:00

This letter was written by Bryan at Gay Family Values. I have re-posted it here because it is so wonderfully written, and it directly applies to those who are being held captive in a "monogamous" society. I have changed a few of the words to directly address our concerns by the [] brackets. To see the original letter click on this link.

Dear hurting soul,

You don't know me....but I know you. I may not know your name, or where you live, or what your favorite color is...but I know you. That's because I have been you. I know that you have been suffering in silence and alone for so long that you don't believe that anyone could possibly understand the way you feel...but I promise you from the bottom of my heart that, that is not true.

You might be staring at the stars over your home and wondering why God made you this way. You may be sitting in the dark, as I used to do, and blaming it all on the devil and wondering why your not strong enough to fight off the temptation....trust me you haven't failed anyone. Maybe your cheeks are burning with shame as you try to ignore the guys sitting behind you in class who are laughing..you can feel everyones eyes and know its at you. You hear them say [plyg] and wonder if they know about you or if they got lucky. No matter which...every time seems to remind you that you don't belong. So you bury it down inside...but there's so much of it in there now that it threatens to drown you.

You hear the [Bishop] on Sunday talk about how [Fundamentalists] are sinners who have turned their back on God and instead chosen a life of sexual perversion...that they have no place in heaven...and you silently die inside as you ask yourself, "Is that me? It can't be me. It's impossible. I will not let it be me..."

Your Dad makes comments about how all [fundamentalists and polygamists] should die and that he'll never let his kids become one. [He takes off his belt and whips you, because he doesn't think you agreed with him fervently enough.] Your mom shakes her head and says she's sorry for those sick, sad people who have chosen to live that way...she goes on about [the innocent children] and that she [insists they must have been repeatedly raped and abused]...and then you know...you will never be able to tell them about you and you die a little bit more. [Your Mom notices your behaviour and secretly suspects your chaste desires, so she pushes you toward your "monogamous" dad. Your body tightens, your hands clench, and your eyes, and mouth, slam shut as you wish you were dead. You know from past experience that if you resist they will beat you, so you wait for the inevitable kiss, then tongue, then... Self-preservation kicks in and your mind retreats into itself, creating a place of safety and peace, a place far away. They are only too happy to let you know that 'now you are not worthy to live CPM'] "Mom and Dad I love you...but I can never tell you about this because I know you will not understand how hard I fought it...how hard I wished to be [like you]...and how [I never could]. You are too important to me to lose....so I will continue to hide it."

Most of us can remember what it feels like to know that your different and to be utterly alone with that knowledge. We remember what it was like to see others falling in love, holding hands, kissing. In the hallways at school, on the walk home from school, behind the bleachers, seeing the pictures of the "power couples" in the year book and wondering when It will be my turn. "Who can I love that will love me back like that?" Maybe that friend you secretly love...but can never tell because you don't know if he/she [shares your beliefs and high standards] and telling them is just too much risk. So you date ["monogamously"]...because that's what your supposed to do...and you hide the truth...from your family, from your friends, and sometimes...your self.

Perhaps you are lucky enough to admit to yourself that you [are Celestial at heart]. Though I know taking that great leap does not mean that you can share that with anybody. Maybe you can tell a friend...or one of your parents...but that does not take away from the soul scouring loneliness you live with everyday at school and elsewhere, as you live with the knowledge that telling others about yourself could mean total rejection and possibly violence. That no place will be safe for you.

I lived most of the examples I wrote above. As did many of us who grew up [drawn to the higher laws] and made it into adulthood. We can remember with ease the burn of shame from each taunt. We can remember the pain of loneliness that promised to never go away...it did. We can remember waking up to the knowledge that we were different from everyone in our family and all of our friends and how it was like a knife twisting in our gut everyday. Those are feelings and times that so many of us have had to come through that we will never forget them.

We made the plans...found the pills...made a few cuts...wrote the notes...stood on the edge of countless bridges, knowing to the core of our souls that dying was the only way out....it was not. Some of us carried through with our decisions only to fail...others stayed the act because something in side us said "maybe tomorrow..but not yet". Without surviving those dark times, we would not know what we do today...

We would not know what our love looks like as he/she's sleeping. We would not know we would one day be a husband to [honest and trustworthy spouses, or a wife to an honourable and faithful man, that we could] not imagine life without. We would not know how much that one kiss can feel like taking your first breath. We would not know how the sun could shine in our daughters and sons eyes. We would not know how much these people would need us...and us them. How beautiful the world can look when we are not in pain....and how many adventures we were going to have because the road seems so long getting to those times.

All you have to do to get there...is show up.

The jocks at the back of the class who call you a [plyg]? They leave high school and quickly figure out that they are not the top of the food chain anymore. The mean girls who made your life a living hell because she thought she owned the world?...the same for her. I remember seeing those people again many years after I left high school....the jocks had gotten fat...the pretty girls had faded into the crowd of pregnant moms. and I realized in those moments that we were all the same.

I won't kid you...life will hold lots of amazing moments for you...but it will also kick you in the teeth too. It wont be easy and some days it may be a fight. You will find love..and maybe lose it a few times. You will fight through that feeling of being alone against the world many more times...and the world knows how to make you hurt.

But in the end...for all the scars...all the lines of care you will get on your face...each gray hair...you will have soooo many moments and memories that you will treasure. And for myself...as much pain as I have experienced...and as much as I had at times wished that I was someone else, or that I could go back in time and change things...I don't wish those things anymore. I know that without them I could not be here...and here is a pretty good place to be. I used to wish I was blonde haired and blue eyed like the guy everyone loved in my fifth grade class....or that everyone would love me if I could dance. I used to wish I could get back to a day before everything in my life went wrong. Sometimes I still feel that pull...but I could never give up the love of my [wives] and children for that. I realize now that all the stuff I have gone through has brought me to them and I will not trade that for anything.

All I had to do was show up. Keep getting out of bed everyday. Keep being just who I was. Life took care of the rest.

So if you are feeling that you are alone, that no one will understand the torment that you live with day in and day out...that you will lose everyone you love if your secret is known..that you are suffering the bullying of others because you are out...or merely suspected of being [a Fundamentalist]...please know that you are not alone. So many of us have walked this road and we are waiting on the other side for you to get here. Your life will change too...sometimes suddenly...other days, only by degrees...sometimes so strangely that you will wonder at life's strange sense of humor...but it will change and often in amazing ways....and all you have to do is...show up.

From all of us who have been there,

and me --->[Joseph]

Cornmeal Muffins & More

2010-10-04T18:26:00.000-07:00

After searching for a long time, we have finally been able to find a local source of dried corn. We have a little grinder and have been making cornmeal and corn flour. We have been greatly enjoying corn muffins and cornmeal biscuits. One of my favorite recipes is a very simple fish recipe that just uses mustard and cornmeal. I simply coat the fish fillets in mustard then role them in cornmeal and fry in butter, it is soooo delicious.

Goats & Chickens

2010-10-02T18:00:00.000-07:00

On our little farm we have a few dairy goats and some laying hens. The children play a large role in caring for these animals. The children help feed and milk the goats and they have been able to see a direct correlation between the amount and quality of the feed to the amount of milk the goats produce. And they are able to see the same with the chickens.

When I was young, I thought food came from the store and I did not understand the value of working. I am so very grateful for this opportunity that the children have to learn how things work and to be able to appreciate and partake of the benefits of their labours.

Social Pressure = Suicide

2010-09-30T07:24:00.000-07:00

There are many things from my past that sometimes I wish I could leave in the past, but history is renowned for repeating itself. Reading the article about the US man who jumped off a bridge because he had been outed on the internet by some bullies who were having a laugh, brought back sober memories. I remember a time when I was young, a young adult neighbour committed suicide because the monogamous family that he was raised in could not accept any other way but their own. It was a terrible experience. It seemed like he tried to make a statement with his death, and hanged himself from the chandelier right in front of the front door of his parent's house. When his mother came home from work, he was the first thing that she saw upon opening the door. We lived almost directly across the street and could see into his house when his front door was open, an almost direct line of sight to where he was hanging. It was a terrible, tragic loss. There have been many good children, young adults, and adults lost to suicide, all because of the nasty social stigma against their polygamist beliefs. It is my hope that someday society will accept the innocent, harmless feelings of others, even the minorities, and will not treat them as criminal just for the sake of following their hearts.

The Approaching Winter

2010-09-25T18:09:00.000-07:00

This morning we awoke to a thick layer of frost and icy puddles. As I gazed upon the silvery grass, my thoughts were drawn to the forthcoming winter season. Winter is by far my favorite time of year. I know others prefer the warmer months, but I prefer to bundle up outside than bake in the sun. There’s no mosquitoes, no heatstroke, and especially, no rain! Rain makes everything wet and muddy and everything seems so mucky and depressing, while snow makes everything seem so clean and pure. (I realize that it is just an illusion and that come spring, the snow will melt and make a big mess, which is why I am not a fan of spring.)

I love curling up in front of a roaring fire, and the smell of wood smoke in the air. I love walking along an unbroken trail in my snowshoes and seeing all of the fresh animal tracks. I love playing outside in the snow with the kids, building snowmen and snow forts, then coming inside and sharing some hot chocolate with marshmallows by the fireplace.

I realize that the frost is just teasing me and that I still have 2 more months of fall to go, but it is nice to dream.

'Big Love'

2010-09-21T18:51:00.001-07:00

Some people argue against polygamy because they claim that if you divide your love then you will love each person less, but this is ridiculous. It is like saying that if you have more than one child, you will love each child less, which of course is not true. In fact, I believe the opposite is true; the more children you have, the greater your capacity to love. And I believe the same goes for multiple spouses. I yearn for the day when JR has several wives and the cup of our family’s love will ‘runneth over’.

To Court or Not To Court

2010-09-19T11:41:00.000-07:00

Last night we watched “7 Brides For 7 Brothers”. I am not a big fan of that type of singing, but it is a nice story. I believe that we can meet, fall in love, and marry, all in one day, even in one instant. (As you may already have surmised, I believe marriage is a state of mind, or rather soul, and not a government sponsored institution.) The first time I met JR, I knew he was something special, and he felt the same about me. I often wish that we had married that day instead of wasting 6 months doing the “socially acceptable” courtship.

Reflections of Ourselves

2010-09-16T18:26:00.000-07:00

We have an 18 month old little boy who is at that state where he is copying everything he sees. We have started teaching him sign language because at his age it is easier for him to tell us what he wants using his hands rather than his words. I am utterly amazed at how quickly he learns, and he remembers. The other day he got into a box of DVDs ( something he is not supposed to be doing), got a DVD out of it’s case, took it over to my computer, pushed the button to open the cd drive, put the disk in and pushed it closed. I rarely use the cd drive on my computer, and yet he figured it out. Needless to say, I kept a closer eye on him after that.

The more I see him copying our behavior, the more I realize how much our children are reflections of ourselves. Sure they may develop their own personalities, but they draw the base of that personality from the environment and people they grow up with. Being a parent is an awesome responsibility, but it is also a great blessing and one that I am grateful for everyday.

I must admit that I do not often write poetry, but as I pondered the thoughts expressed above, I felt inspired to write the following.

As I gaze upon my mirror
That sits there on the shelf,
I see gazing back at me
A reflection of myself.

As I gaze upon my child
While he plays there on the floor,
I realize that this sweet boy
Reflects me even more.

The love I show him is returned,
My actions copied too.
For in the life of this my child,
My reflection is more true.

An Unexpected Blessing

2010-09-14T19:13:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, when you think things are not going your way, they turn around and you are blessed with more than you can imagine.

Last year we rescued a greyhound cross and she became a cherished member of our family. She is the sweetest girl in the world and it is hard to imagine that someone did not want her. She managed to get herself bred and now we have 10 puppies! It has been a great experience watching the children interact with the puppies. They are learning so much. They are learning responsibility and to see the results of their actions. They are able to recognize the differences in the puppies' personalities and how each personality needs to treated in it's own special way. What we thought was going to be a difficult situation has turned into a great blessing.

Peace At Last

2010-09-13T15:35:00.000-07:00

Living free is wonderful! I am now free to live without stress and pursue my own goals for my family. JR and I have dreamed of owning our own business so neither of us has to go away to work, but unfortunately, we are not to that point just yet. For now though I am enjoying my adventures in the business world and JR stays home with the children and runs the farm. I am hoping to move into a different field soon though. If all goes as planned, I will be working in a veterinarian’s office, which is great, I love animals. It is so nice not to be limited by stereotypes where the woman has to stay home and the man has to go out and work. I am also excited about the prospect of going back to university and pursuing my dream of being an accountant.

I Have A Dream

2010-09-12T15:33:00.000-07:00

Last night I had the most wonderful dream. I dreamt that the “Monogomists” no longer ran the country. Everyone was free to live openly without fear of persecution. We were free to fall in love and marry, without being bound by hypocritical rules enforced by a hypocritical society. Children were not ostracized because of their family structure. Families could all go to town together without anyone passing judgment. We were free to worship the God we believed in without any interference from the government.

Oh, what a wonderful world it would be! Now all I have to do is work to make my dream a reality.

Into The Light

2010-09-11T10:49:00.000-07:00

Establishing a home in the mountains was not easy, but it is very rewarding. We have friends who believe in the same things we do, and more importantly, we are free to live how we want to live. Our children can now live free and they have friends who also believe that all people should be free to live according to the dictates of their own consciences.

We see the influence of God everywhere in our lives and experience the awesomeness of His power. I would like to share another experience where the power of God is manifest here on Earth. The water for our little farm is provided by a shallow well. 2 years ago, when all the snow was melting in the spring, the water started to smell bad, then it started to taste bad and we could no longer use it for drinking or cooking. Some rats had gotten into the well and drowned and were rotting and poisoning the water. We could still use the water for the animals, but it was not safe for us to drink, so we had to start hauling our water from somewhere else. We cleaned up anything we thought may be contaminating the water, but it stayed bad. JR went out to the well with some salt and performed a cleansing ordinance, just like Elisha (2 Kings 2:19-22). The water immediately improved, but still had a faint odour. JR went back out to the well but this time he took the older children with him. He told them the story of Elisha purifying the water had them witness as he performed the cleansing ordinance again. The water was immediately purified and was safe to drink and tasted good from that day forward (and to this day). We even sent a sample of the water to a laboratory to be tested, and it passed with flying colours. To see JR exercise the power of God is one of the greatest blessings in my life.

While it is still just JR & I, we have a deep longing to bring more wives into our family and have our family grow. I see the incredible love that my friends who practice this principle have and I desperately want this for my family. We have been patiently waiting for many years to meet someone who wants the same thing and I have finally found a friend who wants to join our family. I do not want to go into too many details out of respect for her privacy, but I am very happy to say that she and JR are engaged and we are working on the wedding plans.

A Spark of Light

2010-09-10T12:25:00.000-07:00

One thing that really bothered me about this “monogamous” church, was that they claimed to have the power of God, but that no miracles ever happened now, or to people I knew. Miracles were something that always happened to someone else or they were something that used to happen in the early church, but they don’t happen now. (Looking back I find this very humorous, because it was in the early church that they practiced polygamy and other fundamentals of the gospel that have been taken from the modern church, so by their own mouths they are condemning themselves.) How could I believe in a God that was inconsistent and a respecter of persons, if miracles were possible then, then they have to be possible now. After I met JR, I learned that miracles did happen now, and you didn’t even have to be a prophet or church leader for God to show his love to you.

The first miracle I experienced with JR, I did not believe, I was so brainwashed by my “monogamous” church that I thought he was just telling stories. When he told me that he had seen me in a dream, I thought it was just a pick-up line. Boy, was I wrong. JR and I have experienced many miracles over the years, things that cannot be written off as coincidence, or just our imaginations.

I would like share one such experience now, and I will share more over time. After JR and I were engaged, we were sitting on a grassy hill staring up at the stars. As I stared up at they sky the scene changed and as I watched I saw God standing beside JR on a thick layer of cloud. I saw myself standing off to the side a little ways away. God stretched out his arm toward me and spoke to JR. He told JR to take care of me and to bring me home. This was the extent of the vision, and at first I thought it was just a lovely imagination of my heart, until I started to tell JR about it and he stopped me. He proceeded to describe to me my vision, exactly as I had seen it, he even pointed out details that I hadn’t really noticed but could remember once he said them. He had seen the exact same vision, just as I had seen it. There was absolutely no doubt that this vision was from God and that we were foreordained to be together.

Unfortunately, when I tried to tell anyone else in my “monogamous” church about our vision, I was either disbelieved and laughed at or told that I was evil for claiming such a blessing when I had no right. Alternately, when I told people outside my church, they thought it was a wonderful experience and were happy for me. I was beginning to see that maybe my elitist church wasn’t all it claimed to be. By following the elitist propaganda of this church I was actually limiting my ability to be the best possible me I could be. As time went on, and I saw all of the chains that my church had wrapped around me, I started to yearn for freedom, freedom to raise my family in a way that would allow them to make the best possible choices they could. JR and I knew that in order to gain the freedom we were looking for, we would have to break away from this “monogamous” church and it’s members, leaving behind the elitist doctrine that only members of this church were acceptable to God and how everyone else was going to hell. We gathered our children, packed up a few belongings and left for the west. It had long been our dream to live in the mountains, to find a little piece of heaven where we would be left alone to be free to live how we thought was best. Others had found peace in the mountains and we were hoping to find the same.

Once the decision had been made to seek freedom, it felt as though a great weight had been lifted from my heart. I no longer had to worry if I had the right clothes to wear to church, or censor every word that came out of my mouth for fear that my desire to live the fundamentals of the gospel would come out. I am now open about the fact that I am looking for more wives for my husband. I am free to be who I want to be and I am happy!

Beginning To See

2010-09-09T11:12:00.000-07:00

After JR and I were married, we still faced many challenges. Although I was open to the idea of polygamy, I was still afraid of my “monogamous” church. I wanted JR to have more wives, but I thought it may just have to wait for the next life. Unfortunately, I allowed some excellent opportunities to pass me by out of fear of persecution from my family and the church. One such memory still brings great pains of sorrow to my heart. One of my younger sisters was having some trouble with my family and came to stay with us for a week. She was expressing her desire to live a higher standard than her “monogamous” church allowed. Here was a perfect opportunity for me to tell her that I felt the same, and to ask her if she was interested in staying and being part of our family, but I still couldn’t let go of the way I had been brainwashed as a child that if I went against the church I would go to hell, so I said nothing. My sister went on to eventually leave the church anyway, shack up with one guy, then marry someone else, which ended in divorce. She is now engaged to a very nice Muslim man, and while he does not have any other wives, his religion allows it and it still could be in her future. She has had some very hard times in her life and when I think of her all I can think of is how I could have spared her all of those sorrows if I had just let go of my fear of my “monogamous” church.

As time went on, and as JR and I saw more and more of the hypocrisies of the “monogamous” church and its leaders, I slowly started overcoming my fear and started standing up for my freedom to choose and make my own decisions for the welfare and safety of my children. We love spending time with our children and most of the time we would only go to church activities that allowed us to bring our children with us. At church we would keep our children with us and taught them to be well behaved and respectful at all times. We started to be ostracized by church members because we refused to follow their traditions of putting their church before the chastity of their children. The members called us evil because we did not want our children to be taken away and molested like I and so many other children had been at the hands of this “monogamous” church.

Thoughts of freedom for my family were often in my mind and I finally decided to put my family and my God before the church. I wanted my children to be free to live as they felt was the best, and if I followed the rules of the “monogamous” church, they might never find that freedom. I told JR that I wanted to live according to the dictates of our consciences and to do what we thought was right.

By now we had met many other fundamentalists and I had learned that everything the “monogamous” church had told me about them had been a lie. They were normal people just trying their best to live the way that God wanted them to. I saw so much love and kindness that I desperately wanted the same for my family.

The Pains of Change

2010-09-07T18:45:00.000-07:00

Being raised in a religion with polygamist roots, I was taught that there would be polygamy in heaven, but that it was not allowed here on earth. But in the same breath, I was taught that those that lived the fundamental principles (like polygamy) of my religion were all evil people. I was taught by my leaders that fundamentalists were all cultists who brainwashed their women and traded spouses like baseball cards. I was taught that little girls were constantly molested and that all anyone cared about was sex, but how was this different from how I was raised in my “monogamous” religion? It was quite the irony, but unfortunately, I did not see it and blindly believed my leaders.

Then I met JR and everything changed …

From the first moment I met JR I knew there was something special about him. It’s true I did not believe his line about seeing me in a dream, I had been told that one before, but after talking to him for a few minutes, I did not want it to end. My friends were ready and I had to go, so I asked him for his address and asked if it would be okay if I wrote him a letter. He said sure and gave me his address. Then he did something that completely surprised me, he asked me for my address, he was actually interested in me too; I was thrilled!

JR was different from anyone I had ever met in my life. When he made mistakes, he would confess them and own up to them and try to fix the damage that he had caused. This was completely different than what I had been taught in my “monogamous” church, from my observations, all you had to do was pretend to be sad and maybe stop doing it, or at least stop getting caught. JR’s way seemed a lot better and I started questioning some of the other dubious doctrines taught by my “monogamous” church.

JR and I started dating and discussed the difference between the gospel and the church often, and we were beginning to see that the gospel and what the “monogamous” church leaders taught did not match up. We could see that one of the greatest blessings of the gospel was plural marriage and here was the church telling us that it would be practiced in heaven, but those who practiced it on earth were going to hell. Before we married, JR asked me how many wives I would let him have. Despite all the prejudices taught me by my “monogamous” church, I answered that he could have as many wives as he would like. This was the beginning of my Escape To Polygamy.

I am a daddy again!!!!

2010-09-07T17:25:00.000-07:00

Yeah! I would like to announce that my beloved bride and I have recently had a new addition to the family. It is so great to look into those bright eyes and have the new little fella reach up and grab my finger with his tiny hands. PJ decided that we would have the child in a family birthing room this time, so that anyone who wanted to could witness the birth. It is amazing that hospitals these days have family birthing rooms, and that they make accommodations for several people being in the room at the same time. Well a few of the older children were able to watch the birth, even though they really could not see much. It was a great experience all around. PJ is great, she has recovered quickly. She is one of those women who can pace back and forth almost right up until the transitional stage, then squat down and, within five minutes, have the child. It is truly amazing!

Even though my mother arrived at our house a few weeks after the birth, we had an enjoyable visit. I have long since forgiven my mother for the terrible sexual and physical abuses that she inflicted on me as a child, yet when I picked her up at the airport several horrific memories flashed through my mind. Of course I have long forgiven her, and I did not intentionally bring up those old memories, but those memories certainly caught me off guard. On the inside I cringed with terror, as if I were five years old again, but I welcomed her with a hug. Since her children are all grown, she no longer has the ability to harm them anymore, but she is often supervised and not left alone with the younger children. She still has a very strong attachment to her vile "monogamous" church and upbringing, and continually preaches that we must repent and become "holy" like her, and follow her heinous customs of accepting pedophilia as a socially acceptable norm.

I prayed often during her visit to banish all those terrible memories and the feelings that accompanied them, and sought earnestly to build every loving and caring emotion that I could for her. After all, she is my mother, and even though the effects of her abuse will long be with me, I do forgive her. I will just never return to her religion or her customs. Hopefully some day she will realize that child abuse is wrong, no matter how socially acceptable it becomes. Then perhaps that day she will leave that "monogamous" church and follow the gospel of Christ.

As all my ardent readers know, I have always used the term "monogamous" (in quotes) to denote the hypocritical people and organizations who claim monogamy, but are secretly living lives of sexual perversity. The term "monogamous" (in quotes) does not refer to a monogamous (without quotes) living arrangement, where there is only one sexual partner. I have a great deal of respect for those who follow a truly monogamous lifestyle. In fact, I do enjoy the motto, live and let live, but not to the allowance of the criminal behaviour of child abuse. Each person involved must be of age, and fully capable of making their own consensual decision.

Wow, I get off topic fast!

Stumbling Around

2010-09-06T13:26:00.001-07:00

JR did not want to go into too much detail about the abuses I suffered as a child at the hands of my family and members of my “monogamous” church, but I would like to share some of my stories to illustrate the horrors of my “monogamous” upbringing.

It started when I was very young, my parents were very active in their church callings and in their worldly pursuits so I was often left alone to take care of myself. Even though we lived in a big fancy house, this house was located in a lower class neighbourhood. Our next door neighbours had a little girl my age (I was around 6 at the time) and I was often sent over there to play with her. Unfortunately, they also had several sons, two of which were 12 and 14 years old. These two boys would take their sister and me into the nearby woods and have sex with us. I knew what they were doing was wrong but I was scared of them. I was scared to tell anyone for fear of what they would do to me. I would beg my mother to let me stay home but she just kept sending me over there to get me out of her hair. It got to the point where I felt so bad that I could not sleep at night, I would just lay there and cry. I finally got up the courage to tell my mother about it and all she did was say “there, there” and sent me back to bed. She didn’t even tell my father about it, so much for their perfect “monogamous” relationship. Finally the little neighbour girl burned down the house and they moved away, but not until after my parents invited the whole family to live in our house for 2 weeks while they found a new place to live. My “monogamous” parents put their appearance of charity above the safety of their own daughters! They traded their daughter’s chastity for the “payment” of looking good in front of their church.

Many other sexual abuses took place right in our church buildings and at church activities. One time, after the meetings were finished, I was left alone while my parents took care of their church responsibilities. One of my older brother’s friends took me into an empty classroom and molested me. This boy was supposedly an honorable priesthood holder. My own brother, who was also supposedly an honorable priesthood holder, invited this same boy over to out house to molest me. He pimped me out to his friend. This boy sat me on his lap in our own living room and molested me right in front of my family, my own father just sat there and allowed it to happen right in front of his eyes! And nobody stopped him when he took me into the bathroom alone to continue what he was doing. I finally got away from him but who was I supposed to tell, my parents? They were right there watching it happen! The church leaders? This boy’s father was one of them! I was even molested by a temple going member of this “monogamous” church, during church sponsored activities. And I found out I was not the only one that this was happening to.

I began to believe that this was normal and that since my “monogamous” church was telling me that they were better than everyone else, (especially better than those fundamentalists, who supposedly had strayed from the true gospel and were all cultists), that everyone else must be much worse. I was taught by my “monogamous” church not to question and that everything that happened to me was according to the will of God. I was supposed to believe that God wanted to molest me, that he enjoyed seeing his monogamous priesthood holders have sex with me and the other little girls. I was not sure that I wanted to follow this God, but I tried to be a good girl and do what the leaders told me to do.

Born In Darkness

2010-09-05T18:16:00.000-07:00

Hello, I am Toni, JRNorth's first wife. I have decided to join JR on this blog to share some of my stories of the horrors of "monogamy". As JR has previously mentioned, I was raised in an elitist religion where I was taught that I was better than everyone else and that only members of my church were going to go to heaven, even though members of my "monogamous" church and even members of my own family were doing unspeakably evil things to me and to others around me. I thought that people of other religions must have been so very evil if they were worse than those in my "monogamous" church. I can remember being taught that other religions were bad because they could sin and then have to perform penance, but in my own church they did not even require that, none of those who molested me ever came and apologized or tried to repent of any of their crimes against me, not even my own family.

Several of the other girls who I grew up with were having the same things happen to them and I grew to learn that this type of abuse was extremely common in this "monogamous" religion. This is the story of my Escape To Polygamy.

Engagement

2010-09-05T15:13:00.000-07:00

I just couldn't let it pass, but need to let everyone know that my beloved has found a wonderful friend and has asked me to accept her friend to be one of my wives. So I am now engaged.

Welcome Back

2010-09-05T14:15:00.000-07:00

It has been a very long time since I have posted. There has been much going on and I will get to posting many updates. I am currently trying to figure out how to add another poster here. If anyone knows how, please let me know.

Parody, Satire, Irony

2009-07-08T18:33:00.000-07:00

Well, I thought I would lighten thing up a little. Some of my favourite types of comedy are parodies, satires, and ironies. So I thought I would write a few sort of humourous observations. Now I realize that it may not be everyone’s cup of tea, and hopefully anyone who reads this will understand that it is only a few silly observations about human nature.

Of course the media picks up any story they can, and rightly so, but then some media corporations publish it with a definite twist to fit their own prejudices and propaganda. Many people have to live through terrible tragedies and I am very much against all forms of abuse, and I am not making light of the abuses or suffering of anyone, but of the obvious double standard of the “monogamist” elitism. Having grown up in an abusive home, I have much first hand knowledge of abuse and know a great deal of the psychological terrors that exist there. So that is the area I will address.

Some of the things that “monogamists” say about polygamists:

That polygamists are pedophiles and should be locked up. The truth, in my experience, has been that many “monogamists” are pedophiles. I have seen a tremendous amount of sexual assaults against children in “monogamist” families. Pedophilia committed by the parents (mothers included) as well as by the “uncle”, family friend, or other relatives. By their own way of thinking, “monogamists” should be castrated and jailed. Yet this thought never seems to enter their minds. Strange how they can expect forgiveness for pedophilia, just because they are “monogamous” and the polygamous community cannot???

That polygamists are women abusers. I have seen women hiding in corners, crying, terrified for their lives. I have seen women oppressed and excluded from the family finances, family decisions, education, medical attention, friends and relatives, entertainment, and the list goes on. Strange though, all these abuses were among the “monogamous” people. So according to the “monogamist” mind set, all monogamists must be women abusers???

That polygamists are adulterers. I find this statement the most humourous. “Monogamists” calling polygamists adulterers! What utter hilarity! There are so few true monogamists (one spouse), that this statement is just plain silly. They are so self-righteous that they have even created cultural and legal excuses for their adultery. Things like a government marriage certificate, and divorce. They move from one partner to the next, and as long as they do not have a government contract, they claim righteousness. Or even if they can justify in their minds that they were broken up from their partner during that hour that they were with someone else, they still say they did not commit adultery. Yet they accuse a chaste man, who did not fool around outside of marriage, and is completely faithful to all his wives, and takes full responsibility for them as well, as an adulterer??? What utter nonsense!

That all polygamists commit terrible crimes, such as: incest, statutory rape, underage marriage, welfare fraud, tax evasion, lack of education, trafficking of minors across boarders for the purpose of sex, medical neglect, and extreme forms of domestic abuse & mental torture, etc. The truth of the matter is, that I have personally worked in law enforcement and I can say that these crimes are all readily occurring among the “monogamous” communities. They occur in all walks of life, from the very rich to the very poor. I will say that they did seem to occur more frequently among the lower economic classes. Perhaps that is enough reason for the government to outlaw poverty? Then they will be arresting everyone who does not earn a certain wage, and stealing the children of the poor (they call it rescuing) and selling those children to the rich (commonly called adoption fees).

That polygamists oppress their wives and do not allow them things like education. Strange since many are nurses, teachers, accountants, administrative assistants, managers, business owners, etc.

That polygamist men deny their wives medical help. Yet they go to the doctor of their choice whenever they have a problem? Denying a woman medical attention is a common problem among abusive “monogamous” husbands. Perhaps all “monogamous” relationships should be outlawed?

That polygamist men keep their women chained in the house and do not allow them to join clubs, or go to the movies, or other entertainment. What utter nonsense! How then do they know the lines to the latest movies? Or the words to the newest songs? Have you ever been to a polygamist community? The women there are about town the same as anywhere. In fact, just take a stroll down the street in a polygamist community, and ask yourself, where are the men? Then watch how many women have ipods and cell phones, and drive cars, and wear pants, and have credit cards in their own names.

I had hoped to lighten the mood, but I think it backfired.

The truth of the matter is that there may be some polygamous men, and certainly many “monogamous” men who abuse their wives, oppress them, physically assault them, and commit all types of terrible crimes. And a simple look at the statistics will reveal that most crimes committed are committed by “monogamous” people. Not just in sheer numbers, but per capita. The bottom line is that abuse of any kind is a crime, and it is abuse that should be persecuted, not a specific type of marital union. It is painfully obvious that those who persecute, legally or not, a certain form of marriage, under the guise of stopping abuse, are only upholding abuse in all it’s forms.

Spring Is In The Air

2009-06-24T18:23:00.000-07:00

After being treated so kindly by the polygamists, it did not take long for me to realize that I really enjoyed their company, and felt as though I had finally found a home.

One day I was on my way to my cousin's wedding, and I drifted off to sleep for just a few minutes (I was not driving). In my dream I saw a beautiful face. The face of an angel. She turned, smiled at me and said hello. And I woke. The thing with this dream was that I could not get that beautiful smile out of my mind. Every time I closed my eyes, I could see that smile. It never faded like other dreams.

Then a few hours later while at the wedding, I held the door open for a few people who were headed outside. One of the girls stopped in the doorway, turned, smiled at me, and said hello. I was stunned. It was the same beautiful face I saw in my dream, with that same gorgeous smile. So I thought I would put my foot in my mouth. All I could think of to say was, "I saw you in a dream." And the response was, "I've heard that one before."

That was the very first time that my wife and I met. And the very first time that we had ever seen each other in this lifetime.

With a little time and a few more miracles, she consented to spend the rest of her life hanging around with me. It is pretty hard on a fella's confidence to know that he was not much of a catch and needed so many miracles to win a girl's heart, and yet at the same time how could I not feel blessed that the Lord would help me out so much. [Sometimes my dog won't play with me either, unless I have a bone for him. As a child, I loved that ugly duckling story, and I am still waiting for my metamorphosis.]

Married life began as quite the challenge. There were many obstacles to overcome. My own baggage was bad enough, but my beloved had her full share of challenges too. She was raised in a "monogamous" family, who belonged to a mainstream christian elitist religion. There were many terrible things that she had to endure as a child, and out of respect for her I will only mention a small example just to illustrate the difficulties. Her "monogamous" parents did not pay much attention to their children and would ship them out to whoever. Her brother used to bring one of his friends home to ... do terrible things to her. It was so prevalent that her dad would watch TV in the same room and just let it go on. Terrible things were experienced in her own house and even in her own church by too many different people. An elitist church that claims to have the only power on earth to save souls, and yet supports such activity???

With time and a lot of patience on both sides, we overcame a host of challenges and life was moving along wonderfully. At one time I had a 45 minute commute to work, and I always rushed home to see my family. One day, I couldn't wait to get home to talk about a great idea I had, and as I entered the house I saw my wife wiping the tears from her eyes and instantly my heart sank. I asked my beloved bride what was wrong, and quickly looked around the room for the children. They were fine and came bounding across the room to greet me. Again I asked what the matter was, but still got no answer. How could I go on, knowing that something was so terribly wrong, and not be able to help. I persisted, and as her eyes filled with tears once again, my love told me of the cause of her sadness. She said that she was crying because I had only one wife and that she wanted me to enter plural marriage. What could I do? Once again I was caught completely off guard.

I was astonished that she wanted to enter into such a challenging marriage situation. I mean, I loved the polygamists. I loved their kindness, their compassion, their love of their children, and their faith, but I never thought that my wife, who had grown up in a "monogamous" house hold, in a "monogamous" church, and had lived through so much, would have the strength, or even the desire to pursue such a lofty principle.

It takes a noble woman to overcome the covetous nature of the world, all the jealousies and pettiness, that plague the self-centred american culture. In today's culture, most "monogamous" marriages end in divorce, the spouses being so selfish and self centred, cannot even live up to the least of the virtues. And yet, in the midst of that turmoil, there are a precious few wonderful women who strive for the holier aspects and seek the higher virtues. There is no doubt, some of the women who enter into plural marriages are among the most noble of spirits.

Face to Face with the Polygamous Beast

2009-06-24T11:34:00.002-07:00

I don't know if there is something in the water, or what the reason is, but the mountains certainly seem to attract a great variety of philosophical extremes in the people there.

I met so many different people, with so many different philosophies, and that certainly included many different beliefs about marriage. I met some people who believed that marriage was no business of the government, and they followed an aboriginal custom of the Paux (spelling?). It is a simple custom: The two in love would decide if they wanted to marry and would make their covenants to each other and announce their marriage at a community function, or to their families.

A woman that I worked with had two husbands. The marriage seemed to work for them and they were normal people. They had a unique arrangement, one husband worked in a mine and was on a two week in - two week out schedule for work. During the two weeks that he was home, the other husband moved out to a different house, then during the two weeks that he was in the mine, the other husband moved in to the wife's house. It was an interesting arrangement.

There were lots of free love spirits (the spirit of the 60's is still strong in the mountains) who did not believe in any formal type of marriage, just a whole lot of free love. These people reminded me most of the "monogamous" families from my childhood. They would speak of freedom to do as they wanted, and that no one should interfere with them, but in the next breath put down another's point of view. Blatantly hypocritical, but still there were a few nice people among them.

Then came the time that I met a mormon polygamous family. I was prepared for the worse. Surely they would immediately strive to kidnap me, then brain wash me, and then turn me into one of their drones, stealing my individuality and turning me into a monster. I waited. And waited. And they did not kidnap me. I watched them closely. Surely they were just biding their time and trying to gain my confidence and then they would pounce. But no matter how long I waited, they did not molest me. The monogamists that raised me were wrong!

I waited patiently to see all the classical signs of abuse, but never saw any. I could not believe it. I was told by my "monogamous" parents and "monogamous" church that these polygamists were devils, demons disguised as people. But where were the abused children? Where were the cigarette burns on their hands? Why could they sit down without wincing in pain from being whipped? I did not believe that they were acting normal. Perhaps they were just faking everything while I was around. Of course I don't know how they could have healed the bruises and black eyes instantly. Perhaps because it was all a lie. Perhaps my monogamous family, and monogamous churches were wrong.

Well, if I could not find the signs of abuse in the children, surely it would show among the women. Those chattel who were traded back and forth between men. There was no way that they could hide the abuse and the mental damage that the media swore up and down was being committed. After all, according to the "monogamous" media, each polygamous man had a grand elevated gold plated throne in his house that he sat in, while his harem of women mulled about his feet, fulfilling his every whim. And if one of his wives batted an eyelash, then according to the stories that the "monogamous" told, the man would have his wife stripped naked and beat, then sold or traded to another man, only to start the entire proceedure all over again.

Being raised in a red-neck society, I was certainly familiar with the sight of abused women, and I was looking. But the problem was that not all polygamous families were actually polygamous. They believed in the doctrine, but not all of them practiced that principle. There were many families with perhaps two wives, sometimes three, but that was it. There were stories of men who had many more wives than that, but I have not met them in person. So maybe they are the ones with the throne rooms??? Anyway, there were many different types of women and they each had their own personalities, just like in "monogamous" society. There were many different body shapes and sizes, and different hair styles, different makeup, different shoes, and all the sorts of things that women like. The women even had straight teeth and fillings, and some even wore glasses. Now I could not figure out how they were so oppressed and never allowed to have anything, if they were free to go to the dentist and the optometrist. Another "monogamous" lie.

On the internet, I searched and found different blogs, and message boards, and chat rooms that polygamous families inhabited, and I joined some of them. Which is ironic in itself, since the "monogamous" media likes to point out how the mormon polygamous women are not allowed to watch TV, use the internet, have cell phones, etc. I can only ask, how are they on the internet if they are not allowed to use the internet? How do they know what happened on a TV show if they are not allowed to watch TV? How do we talk on the phone in the car, if they are not allowed to have cell phones?

The cell phone one is quite ironic. During the raid in Texas, where the government invaded a mormon polygamous community, and abducted hundreds of children at gun point, even the cops believed the media that polygamists were so oppressed that they did not understand cell phones and computers. They believed it so much that they did not think to thoroughly search their victims for and take away the cell phones of the teenage girls (whom they think are oppressed and uneducated and not allowed to use cell phones). And it was from those teenagers that we now have pictures of the inside of their prisons. The girls took the pictures with their cell phones and emailed them to the outside. They sent text messages to people on the outside, telling us what was happening to them. (Which pictures also helped fight against the lies that the government people were telling the media, concerning the treatment of the abducted children.) It is amazing how well, the girls knew how to use a cell phone, and take pictures, and text messages, since the "monogamous" media has been brain washing the american public into believing that the women in polygamy were oppressed and were forbidden to use technology.

There are unhappy women though. There are women in polygamous marriages who are just not happy with their situation and want out. And some get out. There are women in monogamous marriages who are just not happy with their situation and want out. And some get out. There are some women in polygamous marriages who perhaps should not be there. Just like there are some women in monogamous marriages who perhaps should not be there. There may even be women in polygamous marriages who are mean, spiteful, jealous, covetous, and even self serving, just like the women in monogamous marriages. And when they don't get their way, they throw their temper tantrum, divorce their husbands, and then try to hurt them where ever they can do the most damage. Not much different from monogamous society. In fact, exactly the same.

If I can just digress for a moment. If there is any abuse, whether it is in a polygamous family, a monogamous family, or even a "monogamous" family, then help should be offered. No one, no matter what the marital situation, or religious situation, should have to live with abuse.

Yet, much to my surprize, I could not find the abuse that I was brainwashed into believing was there. I was raised in a very low class neighbourhood, and I saw the psychological damage that occured from abuse, but I have never seen that damage among the polygamists. Now I do not want to downplay anyone's suffering. There are good and bad in all cultures, and I will not say that there have not been cases of abuse among polygamous cultures, but I do stand by my conviction that there is not the level of abuse present that the "monogamous" cultures claim there is among the polygamous.

The polygamous women are the same as any other women. They have the same freedoms as any one. They can come and go, drive cars, have careers, and get educations, and run for political office if they want. They do not spend all their time dressed in harem gowns and dancing in circles in front of their husbands. By now, you can imagine that I was losing faith in my "monogamous" upbringing and the elitist mentality of the churches that I had belonged to.

Surely the men would be no different than those I had grown up with. My own dad was abusive and lazy and indolent, as well as an alcoholic and smoker. He would womanize and spend his time and money in taverns, leaving his children with very little to eat. But at least he was a "monogamist", and not as evil as a polygamist.

If you can imagine how much an honourable "monogamous" man has to work to provide for one wife and a few children, you can imagine how much a polygamous man has to work to provide for two or three wives and a dozen children. If you can imagine struggling to deal with the emotional needs of one wife, then try to imagine caring for the emotional needs of two. To find the time to have quality time with each of your children is often a challenge in the "monogamous" world, now do I really have to continue this sentence? Anyone who thinks polygamous men are in it for the sex, or to be waited on hand and foot, has absolutely no idea that the earth revolves around the sun.

In fact, another disturbing fact is that there are men in polygamous marriages that are being abused by their wives. It happens just like in the monogamous side of society. Some women are controlling, and abusive, always manipulating to get their way above all others. Just imagine dealing with the temper tantrums, fits, and manipulations of just one wife, then multiply it. It is quite obvious, as you can imagine, the level of abuse that one man has to live with when both his wives join forces and abuse him without mercy. Picking on him so much that he has absolutely no freedom or choice in his life. He becomes nothing more than a slave. If he leaves, he is ostracized and loses his family, and loses his salvation. No matter what, abuse is wrong, whether it happens to a woman, or to a man.

This is another long post, and I need to take a break, so to wind it down, I would just like to say that certainly there may be some situations in polygamous lifestyles that may not be for everyone, but that is why the good Lord gave us our freedom to choose our own paths. The scriptures tell us of the war in heaven and how satan tried to take away our freedom to choose. The question seems to be, which side will I be on? The side that allows for free choice, or the side that seeks to take freedom away by every means possible, including politically? I may not agree with everything that the polygamists, or even the "monogamists" do, but I will stand up for the freedom of all.

Heading West

2009-06-23T15:07:00.000-07:00

As I struggled with my decision to pursue a relationship with God, I at times felt guilty as if I were rebelling against the mormon church, and most certainly I was. The mormon church likes to tell it's members to draw near to God, to pray and establish a relationship with Him, but what ever a person does, never, never tell them that God answered any prayers. Unless of course if you tell the church leaders that God said to worship the leaders, then they may allow it. Anyway, I was young and foolish, and I let it slip a couple of times that I was praying and getting answers. Nothing dramatic. I was not seeing angels, or parting the ocean, or raising the dead, but I did begin to experience simple answers. Like for example, one time I borrowed a dog from my granddad to bring home to play with. Well, we were out in the field playing and all of a sudden, my granddad's dog ran off. I tried calling it and pleading with it to come back, but it had different ideas. I was terrified that I would lose my granddad's dog and hated the thought of having to tell him that I lost his dog. So I did the only thing I could think of, I got down on my knees, and with tears in my eyes, I prayed for help. And a little miracle happened, when I openned my eyes, there was the dog licking my face. I have no idea how the dog got back so fast, it had been so far away, but here it was. I know it was not a miracle to change the world, but it was wonderful to me. But even though this answer and other answers were very special to me, I was not treated well for speaking of them to mormons. I can only guess that perhaps people only liked to believe in a form of godliness, and really did not want to actually have God interfere with their lives. Because if He could actually answer some of the prayers of a boy from a red-neck upbringing, and not be giving them the same kind of answers, then they could no longer believe that they were special, or God's chosen people, or perhaps they would have to think that they were not as good as they thought they were. Anyway, my foolishness attracted a great deal of negative attention.

I had many such answers to my prayers and even some answers to phylisophical prayers. Like asking for direction in my life and then openning the scriptures, and almost having them fall open, and finding an amazing word for word direction to answer my questions. I continued to develop listening for answers and the promptings of the spirit of God, and then one day after praying, I began to make arrangements to head west. I was not certain where I would go, just west to the mountains.

I did not have much money at the time, so I had to work a bit and hitch-hike a bit and try to negotiate my way west. It was an interesting experience. There were many times when I was tired of walking and prayed for a ride, and almost immediately someone was there to help. There was another time when I was tired of eating the dried camp food that I had in my bag and so I asked for something better, and wouldn't you know it someone showed up at my little campsite and invited me over to supper, and another person brought me some leftovers, and I ended up with far more than I could eat. That trip west was a faith building experience, of which I am always greatful. Now that is not to say that I did not have challenges on that trip. There were many challenges, and I had to deal with many unfortunate experiences, and many bad people. I met some very nice people on that trip too. People who, even though were a different religion than I was, were very kind to me, and obviously had a great relationship with God too. That was when I began to understand that it is not the religion that a person belongs to, but the individual's relationship with the Lord. After all, if God could prompt them to answer my prayer, and they follow His directions, how could I possibly say that their religion is wrong? If they could listen to direction from God to offer me support or kindness, then certainly they could follow His advice to join a different religion, if that was what He wanted. So that certainly puts a damper on those "chosen people" mentality religions. In the New Testament, Christ had to put up with elitists too, and He told them straight out, that whoever does the will of the Father is the ones who are his children. But I am certain that there are many who will disagree with Christ, and say that their religion is the only way.

Hated, by Mormons and Non-Mormons Alike

2009-06-21T18:16:00.000-07:00

No doubt, there will be many mormon, and anti-mormon people who will disagree with my take on things. I have often been ostracized and hated by mormons and non-mormons alike. The non-mormons express their dislike for me because of my mormon beliefs, and the mormons express their dislike for me because of my lofty ideals, they think I am too mormon.

Well, let's get this out in the open, so that everyone will know where I stand. I espouse the loftier ideals that were presented to the inner church by Joseph Smith Jr, and similar ideals that are espoused by the various nazarite communities around the world. Only when a person gives up all worldly attachments and seeks after the welfare of others, is that person then free. Yet, everytime I look in the mirror, I see a person who is not even close to reaching those ideals.

In other words, one of the reasons the mormons hate me is because I do not accept their adultery (they call it fornication and 'serial monogamy'). I believe in the law of chastity, that sexual relations should be kept for marriage, and that marriage is intended by God to be an unbreakable covenant. And chastity in a plural marriage situation should also be lived to the highest degree.

I mention these things because there is so much written on the immorality of plural marriage, when it is really the opposite. Those entering a plural marriage covenant must be willing to live to an extremely high moral standard, or the marriage will fail.

I also feel the same way toward other laws of God, such as not killing, not stealing, not bearing false witness, honouring mother and father, etc.

Well, that should attract a disgruntled remark or two.

Leaving Home - Continued

2009-06-21T16:29:00.000-07:00

Well, I moved around for a bit from one relative to another, then moved in with cousins that were mormon. Well I went to some of their meetings and read a bit and liked the philosophy of their teachings and started to attend their church more regularly.

Interestingly enough, they were "monogamous". So many anti-mormon groups say that the mormons are still polygamous and just pretend to be monogamous, but in all my time around the mormons, and making some very close friends among them, I have never seen any polygamy among them. Other than the monogamous polygamy that is rampant here on the North American continent. You know the type, people switching partners more often than switching long distance carriers. Of course the "monogamous" people do not refer to moving from one partner to the next, or having more than one partner at a time as polygamous, unless of course the "M" word is mentioned. In fact, the main thing that I have noticed with the "monogamous" is that they are perfectly content to allow polygamy, as long as everyone involved is "monogamous". Or at least committing adultery, or moving from partner to partner on a regular basis. Then they are happy. An interesting, though shallow, psychological phenomena.

Anyway, I showed an interest in the phylisophical ideologies of mormonism and stuck my nose into every book that I could find. I read everything that I could, including anti-mormon material. Well, after four months or so, I was hooked. It was a great phylosophy, and I decided to join.

A small note worth mentioning, is that I was very crass in my speach, dress, and deportment, and several mormons made it quite clear that I was an evil person. I was often harrassed and made fun of in church, but I stuck to my convictions that the underlying phylosophy of mormonism was good and that I would struggle through anyway.

The constant harassment did not end after baptism. In fact, my baptism was not a completely happy occassion. I was young, and a little unrestrained, and very excited to be getting baptized and allowed myself to speak happily and loudly. (Sometimes I do have trouble controlling my voice, due to a hearing disorder, perhaps largely on account of the abuse suffered as a child.) But that is no excuse for my behaviour. I was excited about baptism and did not keep my voice in check and as a result was chastised for speaking loudly. My topic was of course my impending baptism and joining of the church, I was just too loud.

I realize that I am being vague in my descriptions, but I do not feel that all the details are necessary to convey the fact that the "monogamous" mentality and people were not God's chosen people just for the sake of being monogamous.

I did find friends among the mormons, but it was difficult negotiating all the lies. I say lies, because that is how I saw that type of behaviour. The mormon culture is really a unique culture in and of itself and a person would do much better among them being aware of how they interact with each other. They are often not outright honest when dealing with each other. They like to play a game. To talk between the lines. They justify themselves with 'everyone knows what I mean' and things like that, this way they feel like they are being honest. Needless to say, I did not fit in. I had a bad habit of telling the truth and saying what I meant, and therefore had very little success among them.

The simple bottom line was that the mormon ideal was great, but several of the mormon people were not quite willing to live up to that standard. Leaving the red-neck society in which I was raised, and moving to the mormon culture, most mormons could not accept that I was progressing. They only saw all the low brow behaviours that I was desparately trying to leave behind. With a lack of funds, I was often ridiculed for my lack of proper church attire. For my learning disability, I was often ridiculed for my inability to function in a conversation or in a sunday school class. At one time, I was playing basketball with my cousins, who were instrumental in bringing me into the church, and I was losing badly, but a member of the Bishopric (church leaders) came onto the court and started yelling at me and shoved me. Instictively, and much to my shame, instantly I was back in my abusive childhood and defensively I shoved back. The church leader was caught off balance and fell to the floor. I just stood there, wondering what went wrong. Why would a church leader become violent with me? It was a question that would plague me for years. Well right then and there I became terrified. I may have been struggling to leave behind my red-neck upbringing, and move into a new class. What I had originally thought was a better class. But it was a joke. They looked more acceptable to society, they spoke better, and had better jobs, but they were still the same. I was looking in the wrong place. The gospel was not to be found in class distinctions.

As time went on I found that there was a lot of animosity displayed toward me, and others. It was rampant in that church. No matter where I looked it was there. People were always out to hurt each other and to get ahead. Men were controlling, women were manipulative. The mormon women were some of the most accomplished manipulators that I have ever seen. They could manipulate their men into doing anything, then making the men feel as if it were entirely their fault and that the women were oppressed. I befriended a woman who let slip a few things and I learned that the women even held classes on how to manipulate. That was a revelation!

There was all the usual shenanigans that went on in "monogamous" society. Adultery, was rampant, child abuse was very prevalent, manipulation and abuse between the spouses, lying, deceiving, farming out children, leaching off the system, thieving, and the ever persistent struggle to get to the top, all and more were there. It was really no different than any other place in "monogamous" society. And of course, the mormons had nothing good to say about those who still practiced polygamy.

Early in mormon history, their founding prophet began a church and brought forth a book of scripture, written by prophets on the american continent. The story is that there were people here on the American continents at the same time that there were people in the mediterranian. The ancestors to the american aboriginals, we were told. Well, since God loves all his children, He spoke to a few people on the American continents and those prophets taught their people the same gospel that was taught in the old world. An interesting idea is that since the Bible had been translated numerous times, into several different languages and much of the gospel had been perverted by the translators, that now there was a second book that also taught the same gospel but had only been translated once. This would certainly help undo a lot of the mistranslations that had occurred in the Bible. But I digress. I began this paragraph to say that the first mormon prophet had set up a church for those who were searching for the gospel of Christ. Then he had also set up another organization, one that was based on the higher moral standards of the gospel, similar to the nazarites of the old testament. Those nazarites lived in small communities where they had everything in common and dedicating themselves to God, tried to live the gospel to a much higher standard. They shared everything, and forsook the treasures and comforts of the world to spend their time in the service of God. Joseph Smith Jr. tried to set up a similar organization among some of the more pious members of his early church. In that organization, they struggled to live lofty ideals of laws of consecration and chastity and morality. It is my opinion that if anything, the mormon prophet should be commended for his struggle to live to a rediculously high standard, and not have bad things said about him. Anyway to continue, both organizations were established, the main church, and the inner church. Comparatively, few members of the main church were also members of the inner church which lived the laws of consecration, plural marriage, etc. Of course these days, both histories are intermingled and only the studious historian will see the obvious. So now even most mormons believe that those histories were one and the same.

After the mormon prophet Joseph and his brother Hyrum were murdered, there was a coup in the leadership of the church and eventually after several years it was established that Brigham Young would be the next church leader. It was Brigham Young who took the mormons the rest of the way west to the mexican territory of Utah. He led his people out of the United States to try and find some reprieve from the persecutions that had abounded, from those who had fallen away from the inner church, and some of those who had fallen away from the main body of the church. Anyway, it was Brigham that combined much of the inner and outer church and made them into one. And to do so there had to be many, many compromises in the gospel. It was a difficult time for many people. From my own study, I would suggest that each of the following 'prophets' of the mormon church gave up a piece of the gospel that was established by the first mormon prophet Joseph. Until, now at this present time, the mormon church is very similar to any other Christian religion, with a few isolated exceptions.

I suppose I should get to the point with the last couple of paragraphs, and it is this. The marriage laws that were established in that inner church were quite lofty. To share all a person has is difficult, but to share a spouse takes the greatest of self sacrifice and the pursuit of the most noble and godlike of qualities. It is a shame that the focus of plural marriage is now focused on polygyny, as if the men were the only ones in control and that the women were just subservient. Yet it is not a hidden fact that they also cross married. In order for a man to have more than one wife, a woman would also have more than one husband, and there are many evidences to support this fact which has been highly written about in anti-mormon literature. Well, just the amount of self control to live in a situation where there were many husbands and many wives in the same family is astounding. I often wonder if I could live up to such a standard. Anyway it is looked at, the modern mormons do not espouse plural marriage as a currently acceptable method of marriage. In fact they are quite vocal, and venhemently opposed to such a thing. Which I find ironic. It is a great irony that their own books say that they must live to the lofty ideal of plural marriage to enter into the highest heaven, and that if they should ever depart from that ideal and the Lord remove that law, then they shall not reach the highest heaven. If they want to reach the highest heaven, they must follow the laws for that level of heaven. And here they are now saying that they will still get to that level of heaven without living according to the laws of that heaven. Such a parallel to the children of isreal thinking that they would be saved to the highest heaven, even though they would not abide the higher law that was brought down from the mount by Moses. So the Lord having compassion, gave them a lower law, one that the people were willing to follow. As with all things, the Lord is willing to have compassion on people, and even warns them that if they give up the higher law, they also give up the rewards of living the higher law, namely the higher heaven. Anyway, enough with irony.

So there I was, struggling to keep the higher ideals of the gospel, while at the same time, being put down by those who should have been helping me. Well, I just could not take it any longer. I decided to pursue my own relationship with God and not let a church or church leader dictate to me, what ultimately is my responsibility.

Leaving Home

2009-06-19T21:45:00.000-07:00

I was terrified to be disowned. My dad's side of the family were rejecting me because of my dad disowning me and also because my mother went back to the mormon church. My mother's side of the family were rejecting me because I was of my dad's genes. But I was able to move around with different cousins and almost always had a place to sleep.

I am getting tired tonight and will have to finish this thought later.

Have a good night.

In The Beginning

2009-06-19T20:11:00.000-07:00

I was raised in a "monogamous" family. We were supposedly Christians, belonging to a common Christian religion that had never espoused polygamy. Although, the only time we went to church was when there was a wedding or a funeral, and sometimes at a baptism or christening. We did not even go at Christmas or Easter, as far as I can remember.

Anyway, as far as I knew, we were just an ordinary family. My dad was full of cruelty, hatred, and even a little violent at times. I was in my late teens before the last of my scars (from cigarette burns) healed. My mother spent most of her time off in her own little world, but was still outgoing in a manipulative way (and very good at it), with a bit of a bully streak mixed in.

I spent most of my childhood trying to escape my childhood. I really did not know any different though, most of my relatives and other children my age were in the same situation that I was in. I did attend school, but did not get good grades. I was like a hand-shy dog, that was afraid of it's own shadow, from being beat too much, which expressed itself in every aspect of my life, especially the social aspect.

I was dutifully taught all sorts of prejudices against all sorts of people, races, and religions. One of the prejudices that my dad held was against any type of Mormon religion. It was during my teenage years when I found out that my mother was a Mormon before marrying my dad. That certainly helped to explain some of the prejudices, but not all.

For being so prejudice against all others, and pointing out all their shortcomings, rational thought would suggest that our family/religion would be of the highest morals. This was my way of thinking anyway. I knew my family was terrible, but I was terrified that my dad would follow up on the threat of sending me out to live in a foster home or group home run by those people, who I had been taught were so bad. I was terrified of being kicked out of the family. Ironically, I was disowned at 16. My dad did not enjoy my company. He was always angry at me for not stealing, lying, fornicating, and fighting, and he expressed himself often on those points. At one point, I was so upset for not having his love, that I actually tried to steal and lie, but failed miserably, which did not impress him. He did not even offer me a hint of hope that some day in the future, if I tried really hard and became good at those things, that he would accept me.

I do realize that there are many, many people who have lived through far worse things than I ever had to, and I will not make light of their suffering. My intent is not to belittle the suffering of others, but only to show that I had some difficulty and challenges that I had to work through. The main one being, how was I going to deal with life outside of the family? I would not be able to live with those people (as I was taught) who were so much more nasty than the family that I was raised in. Especially those of other religions. I could not imagine living among other religions, especially polygamist religions who, as I was taught, were liars, thieves, adulterers, and murderers. Oh, and don't forget child molesters.

All forms of child abuse were rampant when I was growing up. It was terrifying! My dad was quite keen on kissing at least one of his sons, but not on the cheek or forehead, but on the lips and often after the french manner. Of course some of my relatives were having worse things happen to them and I kept my mouth shut for fear that those things were going to happen to me too.

First Post

2009-06-19T10:14:00.000-07:00

This being my very first post on this, my very first blog, I have no idea what to write, so I will just try and share a bit about myself.

First, I am not very computer literate, and I do not spend all my waking hours on the internet. Most times I do get on the internet at least once or twice a week, sometimes more depending on the seasons. This means that my posts and replies may be too erratic for some viewers' preferences.

Second, this is my story. I am not trying to make any grand philosophical or political statements, though I do have opinions, which I will attempt to share in my posts. My basic ideal is just to share my story, those things that have happened in my life. It is not my intent to offend anyone, but certainly some will take offence. To those who do take offence to my story or opinions, I can only say, there are many blogs on the internet and I am certain that you will find a blog that you enjoy.

Third, I have decided to start a blog at this time because I have been reading several blogs that seem to show much of the negative side of polygamy, and I would like to share my experiences. Some of the things I write may not be all flowers, but will contain some sad situations, though I will try to keep the stories of abuse written generally and not delve into too much detail.